EXPOSE Yourself - VII


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Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
 

Q .. How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A .. She fell out of the tree.
 

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
 

Q... Why did the blonde die having a milk bath?
A... The cow fell on her
 

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
 

Q .. What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A .. "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
 

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!
 

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
 

Q .. What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under the water?
A .. A blonde trying to put it out.
 

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
 

One day a blonde and a brunette were walking down to the grocery store when the brunette pointed out to the blonde "oh, hey look at that dead bird.."

The blonde looks around around up in the sky for a few minutes and says "hmm, I don't see any dead ones."
 

Q .. What do you call a smart blond?
A .. A golden retriever.
 

44 more posts to go
 

Confucious says:
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
 

Murphy's Laws on Sex

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
 

Murphy's Laws on Sex

2. Nothing improves with age.
 

Confucious says

"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
 

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