The first few paragraphs of your post was wrought in fear, distrust, and deep conflict. So pardon me for quoting the most humane paragraph instead.
What you just wrote is in fact how one would treat a family member. Guide them, teach them properly so that they too will know how to behave properly and in return take good care of the family.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you're in the wrong or anything. It is indeed a dilemma that both the employers and maids face..... except maybe the Maid Agency who wins regardless.
Treat them with respect and like human beings. Allow the family maids (my in-laws maids) to have a private get together cause they also need to speak to their own pp. If there is an elderly custodian maid who is willing to bring her out, we would allow them. We also brought them out with us whenever we are going out as a family. In fact, my maid seems to be out with my family including my wife more often than with me cause I am working most of the time. But definitely not alone.
What you just wrote is in fact how one would treat a family member. Guide them, teach them properly so that they too will know how to behave properly and in return take good care of the family.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you're in the wrong or anything. It is indeed a dilemma that both the employers and maids face..... except maybe the Maid Agency who wins regardless.