Ladies above 40 difficult to find true love???
- Thread starter melvin
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Ya lor...some guys in 50+ ask me to find him a pretty wife of 21 years:bigeyes:
However, these girls are willing to marry them if he's not disabled.
huh? if he's not disabled? which part?
how come no 21 years old 1 look for me? i'm enabled... :bsmilie:
Sion
Senior Member
1) Do our local guys have high expectation?
human have high expectations, gals also place high expectation on partners
2) Or is it the ladies have high expectation?
re pt 1
3) Is it due to local guys really feel inferior that ladies have higher qualifiation n earning more $ then guys which resulted in above...
i dun feel inferior , with ladies higher qualifications, just take many people take this opp to look down on people who do not have higher qualification than gf/ spouse
i like higher qualifications ladies
4) which in turn resulted guys outsourcing for spouses overseas?
overseas ladies does gives its own set of problems,
language, is 1 , if 1 is 2 look for vietnam or mongolia ladies,
if local gals cannot take fancy in me , i will consider overseas, just like some of my ladies friends prefer ang mos, i also fancy china ladies or japan or korea
5) Guys like to be commanding like to be above everything n control everything be it in life or in love...etc...
i m not commanding , love is 2 way , no 1 likes to be commanded forever, 1 only need to act appropratiely at the right time, relinguishing control is also part of a step forward
6) Do ladies really mind or dun mind guys of a lower qualification n income?
hmmm , only ladies can answer , i check with my ladies friend thou, its 50-50 weightage on mind or dun mind, for the record , the group that minds holds degree
7) Is it the demand for equality in the society that ladies wanted to proof that whatever a guy can do they can also or to out perform guys or simply too career minded?(dun misunderstood me its ok to be career minded but not over)
smart ladies dun seek such proof, its only those that is not smart 1 seeks for such proof.
when i mean smart , i m referring to the EQ not IQ
8) Or is it that the Reality over rules True love? (eg:no $ no talk, cost of living, guys must make the first move, being a divorce....et
if both got money , the relationship will have 1 lesser item to talk abt
if only either 1 side got money , then this relationship give something to talk abt
money n love is not together , but linking money with love is shows another layer of wat love can be ,
1 do not need to love forever to prove thy love, but to show the love while being together makes this relationship mor memorable.
human have high expectations, gals also place high expectation on partners
2) Or is it the ladies have high expectation?
re pt 1
3) Is it due to local guys really feel inferior that ladies have higher qualifiation n earning more $ then guys which resulted in above...
i dun feel inferior , with ladies higher qualifications, just take many people take this opp to look down on people who do not have higher qualification than gf/ spouse
i like higher qualifications ladies
4) which in turn resulted guys outsourcing for spouses overseas?
overseas ladies does gives its own set of problems,
language, is 1 , if 1 is 2 look for vietnam or mongolia ladies,
if local gals cannot take fancy in me , i will consider overseas, just like some of my ladies friends prefer ang mos, i also fancy china ladies or japan or korea
5) Guys like to be commanding like to be above everything n control everything be it in life or in love...etc...
i m not commanding , love is 2 way , no 1 likes to be commanded forever, 1 only need to act appropratiely at the right time, relinguishing control is also part of a step forward
6) Do ladies really mind or dun mind guys of a lower qualification n income?
hmmm , only ladies can answer , i check with my ladies friend thou, its 50-50 weightage on mind or dun mind, for the record , the group that minds holds degree
7) Is it the demand for equality in the society that ladies wanted to proof that whatever a guy can do they can also or to out perform guys or simply too career minded?(dun misunderstood me its ok to be career minded but not over)
smart ladies dun seek such proof, its only those that is not smart 1 seeks for such proof.
when i mean smart , i m referring to the EQ not IQ
8) Or is it that the Reality over rules True love? (eg:no $ no talk, cost of living, guys must make the first move, being a divorce....et
if both got money , the relationship will have 1 lesser item to talk abt
if only either 1 side got money , then this relationship give something to talk abt
money n love is not together , but linking money with love is shows another layer of wat love can be ,
1 do not need to love forever to prove thy love, but to show the love while being together makes this relationship mor memorable.
The world and its people has to learn what true love is and apply. All the chaos are the result of humans weaknesses. They destroy without feeling and deceive for personal gain. They did not know what is true love.
People seek fames, status, wealth and the likes and so are for many successful unmarried women. They won't want to marry someone below their status and for many the spouse must have the same beliefs sharing similar interests and hobbies. More often than not because of their ignorant about giving true love they just want to be in control rather than be submissive.
Here is a passage about True Love from the World Scripture. This kind of true love is not often found in this world but it is important that we should not be ignorant about it.
-------------------TRUE LOVE------------------
When the individual realizes Truth and fulfills God's purpose for
his life, he comes to embody universal love. He delights in the
well-being of others and selflessly works for their benefit. Love
or Compassion, being the core of Ultimate Reality, is expressed in
the love of the saint who can rise above self-centered attachments
and desires. It is true love, love that is totally committed to the
welfare of the other. It is love that is universal, overcoming the
ordinary tendency to self-centeredness or favoritism for one's own.
The ideal of love requires the foundation of integrity, truthfulness, and
unity with the Absolute
The World Scripture describe human love as grounded in divine love: 1 John 4 and 1 Corinthians13 of the Christian Bible, from the Bhagavad Gita, and the Buddhist Metta Sutta. The following passages describe divine love as universal, flowing impartially to all beings, insentient to likes and dislikes.
True love among humans are from the standpoint of love in the family. On the one hand, as love for children and love for spouse are the most intense of human loves, such love is the standard that should be universally applied to all. Thus a Buddhist sutra states that the bodhisattva loves everyone as though they were a loved only child. On the other hand, even love of family often succumbs to partiality; as the Confucian passage from the Doctrine of the Mean cautions, it is not true love if the personal foundation is not right.
Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who
loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not
know God; for God is love.
No man has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us
and his love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in
him and he in us, because he has given us of his own Spirit.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear
has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in
love. We love, because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love
God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love
his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.
[2]1. Christianity. Bible, 1 John 4.7-8, 12-13, 18-20
The infinite joy of touching the Godhead is easily attained by
those who are free from the burden of evil and established within
themselves. They see the Self in every creature and all creation in
the Self. With consciousness unified through meditation, they see
everything with an equal eye.
I am ever present into those who have realized Me in every
creature. Seeing all life as My manifestation, they are never
separated from Me. They worship Me in the hearts of all, and all
their actions proceed from Me. Wherever they may live, they abide
in Me.
When a person responds to the joys and sorrows of others as if they
were his own, he has attained the highest state of spiritual union.
[3]2. Hinduism. Bhagavad Gita 6.28-32
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic
powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I
have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am
nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be
burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is
not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is
not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but
rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for
tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For
our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when
the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a
child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned
like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now
we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in
part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully
understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the
greatest of these is love.
[4]3. Christianity. Bible, 1 Corinthians 13
______________________________________________________________
He who is skilled in welfare, who wishes to attain that calm state
(Nibbana), should act thus: He should be able, upright, perfectly
upright, of noble speech, gentle, and humble. Contented, easily
supported, with few wants and simple tastes, with senses calmed,
discreet, not impudent, not greedily attached to families....
[He should always hold this thought,] "May all beings be happy and
secure, may their hearts be wholesome! Whatever living beings there
be: feeble or strong, tall, stout or medium, short, small or large,
without exception; seen or unseen, those dwelling far or near,
those who are born or those yet unborn--may all beings be happy!"
Let none deceive another, nor despise any person whatsoever in any
place. Let him not wish any harm to another out of anger or
ill-will. Just as a mother would protect her only child at the risk
of her own life, even so, let him cultivate a boundless heart
towards all beings. Let his thoughts of boundless love pervade the
whole world: above, below, and across without any obstruction,
without any hatred, without any enmity. Whether he stands, walks,
sits or lies down, as long as he is awake, he should develop this
mindfulness. This, they say, is the noblest living here.
[5]4. Buddhism. Sutta Nipata 143-151, Metta Sutta
Now, I am jealous of no one,
Now that I have attained unto the Society of the Saints:
I am estranged with no one: nor is anyone a stranger to me,
Indeed, I am the friend of all.
All that God does, with that I am pleased;
This is the wisdom I have received from the saints.
Yea, the One God pervades all: and, seeing Him,
I am wholly in bloom.
[6]5. Sikhism. Adi Granth, Kanara, M.5, p. 1299
Compassion is a mind that savors only
Mercy and love for all sentient beings.
[7]6. Buddhism. Nagarjuna, Precious Garland 437
That one I love who is incapable of ill will, who is friendly and
compassionate.
[8]7. Hinduism. Bhagavad Gita 12.13
If, like a cracked gong, you silence yourself, you have already
attained Nibbana: no vindictiveness will be found in you.
[9]8. Buddhism. Dhammapada 134
______________________________________________________________
A man is a true Muslim when no other Muslim has to fear anything
from either his tongue or his hand.
[10]9. Islam. Hadith of Bukhari
To the addict, nothing is like his dope;
to the fish, nothing is like water:
But those immersed in the love of God feel love for all things.
[11]10. Sikhism. Adi Granth, Wadhans, M.1, p. 557
Then that do we choose, O Lord of Wisdom, O beautiful Truth, that
do we think, do we speak, and do we practice, which shall be best
of the actions of living ones for both worlds!
[12]11. Zoroastrianism. Avesta, Yasna 35.3
Hillel said, "Be of the disciples of Aaron--one that loves peace,
that loves mankind, and brings them nigh to the Law."
[13]12. Judaism. Mishnah, Abot 1:12
Have benevolence towards all living beings, joy at the sight of the
virtuous, compassion and sympathy for the afflicted, and tolerance
towards the indolent and ill-behaved.
[14]13. Jainism. Tattvarthasutra 7.11
Of the adage, Only a Good Man knows how to like people, knows how
to dislike them, Confucius said, "He whose heart is in the smallest
degree set upon Goodness will dislike no one."
[15]14. Confucianism. Analects 4.3-4
Strong One, make me strong.
May all beings look on me with the eye of friend!
May I look on all beings with the eye of friend!
May we look on one another with the eye of friend!
[16]15. Hinduism. Yajur Veda 36.18
______________________________________________________________
Wadhans 1.1: This is a good test of whether an emotion is godly
love or ordinary love. Godly love is all-embracing, while ordinary
love focuses on one object exclusively, thereby inciting jealousy.
Godly love seeks to benefit others, while ordinary love is tinged
with selfish desire. Cf. Asa-ki-Var 21.1, p. 1000; Sun Myung Moon,
9-11-77, p. 274.
______________________________________________________________
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
40 for ladies is really kinda hard.
If the guy wants a kid, most likely the lady will not be a target.
Guys go for looks first. If they like the look, then they make the initiative to know the lady. If one is 40, and looks 40, I think think guys will be attractive visually. First criteria cannot make it already, the guys will turn around.
If the guy wants a kid, most likely the lady will not be a target.
Guys go for looks first. If they like the look, then they make the initiative to know the lady. If one is 40, and looks 40, I think think guys will be attractive visually. First criteria cannot make it already, the guys will turn around.
Being rich helps a lot... many guys would be glad to date a rich woman. I know of one who courted and dating a ceo of a local SME. His main aim? Her dollars...
MBA (Married But Available), funny thing, got more gfs then when I was young? :bsmilie:
Being rich may or may not help.
If you're rich, you'll spend most of the time wondering is the person is after your money or your love.
It seems strange to me that people who are nice-looking and who are successful would have a problem finding a soul-mate. Have you ever considered that there may be some strange quirk in their character that makes them difficult to get along with? After all, relationships are built along the lines of give and take aren't they? And trust. Just look around at the many, many people who are a LOT less attractive and have no great success to speak of - yet most of them are happily married or in stable relationships...
3) Is it due to local guys really feel inferior that ladies have higher qualifiation n earning more $ then guys which resulted in above...
Personally, I feel that some guys do get intimidated by ladies with higher qualification or earning power. From my experience, when guys know that my major is in Psychology, they tend to clam up and feel 'smaller'. Or maybe it is a field in which people in general do not have a very good understanding of.
6) Do ladies really mind or dun mind guys of a lower qualification n income?
I personally would not mind..
7) Is it the demand for equality in the society that ladies wanted to proof that whatever a guy can do they can also or to out perform guys or simply too career minded?(dun misunderstood me its ok to be career minded but not over)
Society has changed that women no longer need to stay at home and be a housewife. There are now "house-bands" (husbands) who stay home, take care of the kids & house. If my income is able to sustain the both of us and perhaps, a family, I don't see it being a problem. However, it may be a problem to some guys' ego and pride as being seen as a "house-band".
Then again.. Everybody has their own definition of being "too career-minded". :think:
Personally, I feel that some guys do get intimidated by ladies with higher qualification or earning power. From my experience, when guys know that my major is in Psychology, they tend to clam up and feel 'smaller'. Or maybe it is a field in which people in general do not have a very good understanding of.
6) Do ladies really mind or dun mind guys of a lower qualification n income?
I personally would not mind..
7) Is it the demand for equality in the society that ladies wanted to proof that whatever a guy can do they can also or to out perform guys or simply too career minded?(dun misunderstood me its ok to be career minded but not over)
Society has changed that women no longer need to stay at home and be a housewife. There are now "house-bands" (husbands) who stay home, take care of the kids & house. If my income is able to sustain the both of us and perhaps, a family, I don't see it being a problem. However, it may be a problem to some guys' ego and pride as being seen as a "house-band".
Then again.. Everybody has their own definition of being "too career-minded". :think:
It is because they are so into over themselves..... The case I put across earlier of the CEO? Well she chose the younger chap because he was sauve and good looking and frankly she knew nothing about him. She just knew that he looked good next to her. Another girl I know, a c*** teaser who used to hang out in one very popular night spot. She was so "popular" that she knew everyone there. However she was always after "Mr Perfect" hence always dating the handsome players... in the end get dumped, go with another, get dumped go with another.
i'm going to change to M42 mount, and allow girls to use adaptors on me...
M42 = screw mount ? ;p
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