Ah Beng told Ah Seng, “My elbow really hurts. You think I should see a doctor?”
Ah Seng said “No need lah. There’s computer at the neighbourhood pharmacy that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00!”
Ah Beng figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with his urine sample and went to the pharmacy. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read, "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks".
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, Ah Beng began to wonder if the computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try.
He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener!
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo!
3. Your daughter is getting screwed by three guys at the same time and has urinary infection. Put her on antibiotics and keep track of her outings.
4. Your wife is pregnant with twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And you..., if you don’t stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better!
