Help!!! How to handle love?


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Silence Sky

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#1
I guess most of us have experienced the feeling of falling in love. The feeling is so electrifying that we constantly crave for it purposely or subconsciously.

The big problem is that you are already attached or married and this lovely lady/man at work suddenly comes into your life. Work brings you both together, his /her mysterious senses arouse your curiosity, his/her personality impressed you, his/her sense of humor mesmerizes you; his/her beauty face march up and down in your skull 24/7. Most importantly he/she gives you that splendid feeling of falling in love once more.

Have you ever been in this situation? And how would you handle this situation?
Are we built in such a way that we can fall in love a lot of times and love not just one person?
 

Lolrence

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Oct 15, 2006
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#4
I guess most of us have experienced the feeling of falling in love. The feeling is so electrifying that we constantly crave for it purposely or subconsciously.

The big problem is that you are already attached or married and this lovely lady/man at work suddenly comes into your life. Work brings you both together, his /her mysterious senses arouse your curiosity, his/her personality impressed you, his/her sense of humor mesmerizes you; his/her beauty face march up and down in your skull 24/7. Most importantly he/she gives you that splendid feeling of falling in love once more.

Have you ever been in this situation? And how would you handle this situation?
Are we built in such a way that we can fall in love a lot of times and love not just one person?
I'm sure you're old enough to think for yourself, for your gf/wife, and for the other girl. (I assume you're a guy) Love triangles always hurt at least one party, and you're not being faithful if you're trying to hit on her. I'm not gonna tell you to get that thought out of your head, cuz in the end, the decision still lies with you. Just think back what you and your gf/wife had went through.. for that moment of what you call 'love', the loss isn't worth it..

Oh, if you're not the one in the situation you're talking about, I apologise :sweat:
 

Koelsch

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Jan 5, 2006
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The Land of the Teddy Bear
#5
I suspected that too, but it has been six months and the feeling just get stronger everyday.

BTW, how would you handle infatuation?
i'm always in on/off relationships... nothing that really lasts long. 6months? mine dragged for almost 3yrs. it will definately fade off sooner or later. the more you think about it, the more u worry. why worry? if you really 'love' your gf/wife, i believe infatuations are just part and parcel of relationships.
 

Lolrence

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Oct 15, 2006
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#6
I suspected that too, but it has been six months and the feeling just get stronger everyday.

BTW, how would you handle infatuation?
Once a relationship reaches a certain level, it takes more than the feeling of being in love to carry it through.. it takes trust, responsibility, gives and takes.. etc

It's easy to say that i'm in love. It's easy to say that I can love. I'm sure that you told yourself that before, when you met your gf/wife.. Now, ask yourself whether you really meant what you said.

Ok, enough preaching.. just my pov. Hope you can really think things through.. or else, talk to your gf/wife about it. Be honest.
 

Silence Sky

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#8
I'm sure you're old enough to think for yourself, for your gf/wife, and for the other girl. (I assume you're a guy) Love triangles always hurt at least one party, and you're not being faithful if you're trying to hit on her. I'm not gonna tell you to get that thought out of your head, cuz in the end, the decision still lies with you. Just think back what you and your gf/wife had went through.. for that moment of what you call 'love', the loss isn't worth it..

Oh, if you're not the one in the situation you're talking about, I apologise :sweat:
Hello there:

Yes I agree with you, someone is gonna to get hurt in this kind of situation. If a wrong decision is being made, all three will get hurt. If you made the correct decision, only one party will get hurt, right?

If you are destined to meet the true one later, what would you do?

Just a question, not directing at anyone. If we got aroused by the sexy guys/ladies on the street, are we also being unfaithful?
 

Silence Sky

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#9
Once a relationship reaches a certain level, it takes more than the feeling of being in love to carry it through.. it takes trust, responsibility, gives and takes.. etc

It's easy to say that i'm in love. It's easy to say that I can love. I'm sure that you told yourself that before, when you met your gf/wife.. Now, ask yourself whether you really meant what you said.

Ok, enough preaching.. just my pov. Hope you can really think things through.. or else, talk to your gf/wife about it. Be honest.
Hahaha.. The most difficult part is being honest, to yourself and others.
 

#10
Just a question, not directing at anyone. If we got aroused by the sexy guys/ladies on the street, are we also being unfaithful?
No, thats just natural.

Advice wise, im not really sure what to tell you, but give your gf/wife another chance, she after all, was their first, and caught your love first, this new person only been around 6 months, could just be a thing.
 

Lolrence

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Oct 15, 2006
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#11
Hello there:

Yes I agree with you, someone is gonna to get hurt in this kind of situation. If a wrong decision is being made, all three will get hurt. If you made the correct decision, only one party will get hurt, right?

If you are destined to meet the true one later, what would you do?

Just a question, not directing at anyone. If we got aroused by the sexy guys/ladies on the street, are we also being unfaithful?
Point 1: Yes, if you made the correct decision, either one party or no party will get hurt, depending on who you choose to go with. But are you sure it's really the right decision? Is the decision fair to other parties involved?

Point 2: I can't really comment, cuz diff pple have diff actions to such a situation. However, I would talk to my current gf about it, and if needed, spend some time to cool off, as a single, so that i can sort out my thoughts, then decide again. I won't just ditch my current gf and go straight for the other girl, cuz it won't be fair to her.

Point 3: That's not being unfaithful, at least in my dictionary. Nothing wrong with being aroused, as long as in the end, you didn't do anything that goes against your conscience, and you know where you belong. My pov.
 

Silence Sky

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#12
i'm always in on/off relationships... nothing that really lasts long. 6months? mine dragged for almost 3yrs. it will definately fade off sooner or later. the more you think about it, the more u worry. why worry? if you really 'love' your gf/wife, i believe infatuations are just part and parcel of relationships.
Why you used the word "Dragged", you already knew the ending long before it comes?

Do you agree with me that the love you hunger for but never get will last forever in you?
 

pai

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Nov 24, 2004
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#13
sometimes when you've been with someone for a long time, the relationship no longer develops at the same pace as it did in early courtship... when someone new comes along, the attraction feels so much stronger because you can experience the rush of passion and infatuation that would have faded your already stable relationship.

but you can rest assured that the new relationship will also cool and change into something different. and we can't keep jumping from person to person to keep re-experiencing that rush.

think twice lor. you should only end a relationship if you're unhappy in it. not because something new and interesting has caught your attention.
 

Lolrence

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Oct 15, 2006
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#14
Hahaha.. The most difficult part is being honest, to yourself and others.
I'm sure that she'll appreciate more, the honesty from you, then just ditching her and going for the other girl just like that. Alot of things can be worked out if you talk things through.. in fact, just a few days ago, someone from some other forum got the same problem like you, and decided in the end that he should give up the thought, cuz he's spent alot of good+bad times with his current gf, and couldn't bear to hurt her.
 

kitkat

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Mar 5, 2005
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#15
Why you used the word "Dragged", you already knew the ending long before it comes?

Do you agree with me that the love you hunger for but never get will last forever in you?
That is human.

Rare are things that is permanent. We change every moment, be it thoughts or physical. Even we do not see the indepth of ourselves and clouded with delusion of this word "last forever".
 

Silence Sky

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Sep 5, 2006
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#17
No, thats just natural.

Advice wise, im not really sure what to tell you, but give your gf/wife another chance, she after all, was their first, and caught your love first, this new person only been around 6 months, could just be a thing.
Hi Stallion:

You have a valid point.

It is possible to love two people at the same time? Have you ever experience it before?

Do you think monogamy is the result of human jealousy and also our desire to have exclusive access to someone?
 

zeith

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Aug 29, 2004
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#19
Hi Stallion:

You have a valid point.

It is possible to love two people at the same time? Have you ever experience it before?

Do you think monogamy is the result of human jealousy and also our desire to have exclusive access to someone?
What if your gf/wife is in your place right now? What would you do? How would you react if you find out? Put yourself in her shoes. Think!!! :think:
 

Silence Sky

Deregistered
Sep 5, 2006
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#20
What if your gf/wife is in your place right now? What would you do? How would you react if you find out? Put yourself in her shoes. Think!!! :think:
I guess everyone reacts differently to this kind of situation. Too many possibilities.
Human reactions can never be explained or rationalized.
 

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