Oh i didnt notice the overlapping on the shirt, yeah your right, doesnt look that good, texture may be missing due to contrast, ill have another look on PS
i find that his posture is too straight, will be better if you have him taken with his arms folded, of his right hand in this pocket to break the "straight posture", just my personal feel
i wont blame a model if photograph does not turn out right.
I feel a bit very very a bit coolness on this shoot. My suggestion would be to take a look on :
1. composition - i personally prefer to left more space on left than right since the eyes create an eyeline to the left. And somehow showing very a bit of arm skin on the very very bottom somehow seems *eh?* to me.
2. colour and contrast - i believe if you can explore further to use cold tones colour to bring out the coolness or push the contrast to achieve more bold look.
3. detail - the overlapping shirt does not feel pleasent to me too.