EXPOSE Yourself - IX

[zac08]

11 Tips For Outrunning The Cops

4. Change cars


This is usually risky but effective. It’s certainly more effective than changing clothes or staying on a damaged or useless car. It’s much more preferable to do it indoors at a public place, such as a parking building.

Quickly get out of your car and choose a car of a different color, even if it’s a similar model to yours. It’s actually better if you choose a car that’s similar to yours, because you’re already used to how your own vehicle handles, and you don’t want to lose control of your ride just because you’re not used to how it handles. Then, take your chosen vehicle out inconspicuously, and hopefully you’ve bedazzled the cops and the helicopters with the switch, at least for a while.

 

[zac08]

11 Tips For Outrunning The Cops

3. Take cover (from helicopters)

This tip is critical if you want to lose the cops completely. The helicopters over your head, be it the police chopper or a local news copter, will be aiming their cameras at you all the time. This means that even if you’ve lost the police cruisers behind, they still know where you are thanks to the helicopters, and will eventually catch up to you again.

Unless, of course, you’re able to stay out of their sights. Try going under a roof, a parking building for example, and get out through the least obvious path. The idea is to take cover, then take unusual roads so the helicopter cams won’t know where to look when they expect you back in the clear. If you’re at an area full of trees, you might get a chance to lose them, too.

But losing the helicopters doesn’t mean you’ve won. You’ll need to be conspicuous while driving and pray that they won’t find you again.

 

[zac08]

11 Tips For Outrunning The Cops

2. Beware the PIT Maneuver

This is a procedure that the police is very proud of, and get extensive training on. The PIT (usually meaning Pursuit Intervention Technique) Maneuver consists of a police cruiser approaching the fleeing car by one side, until the cruiser’s front wheels are roughly aligned with the speeding vehicle’s back wheels. Then, the police car steers sharply, hitting the trunk of the criminal’s car; and making it spin out, usually to 90 degrees from the road, and straight into a ditch or a wall. It’s very effective and very common.

So, if you see one of the pursuing police cars approaching you to one side, either fully accelerate your car (if you’re not already) in order to dodge the hit. Or, slow down all of a sudden, so that you hit the front of the police car first, or the cruiser only hits you innocently on the side.

 

[zac08]

11 Tips For Outrunning The Cops

1. Get to an airport


This is the ultimate getaway tactic, depending on the circumstances. You don’t even need to buy a ticket! (Or hijack a plane either.)

What you need to do is get to the airport quickly. Once near, the helicopters won’t be able to chase you anymore because it’s restricted airspace for them! That’s really good for starters. Then, you need to go into the airport parking area. This is the key moment: you may want to get into the airport, buy a ticket, and fly off into the sunset. But, this may be hard because the police may have warned the airport and they would be looking for you all over.

Instead, you could change your car for one of the cars in the parking area, and drive out inconspicuously, leaving the police desperately looking for you at the airport! A clean and successful escape.

 

[Royaux]

 

[zac08]

Nice... I love it...

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Human-derived collagen injections

Collagen injections are used to smooth out frown lines, crows feet wrinkles, and smile lines as well as to give the appearance of full lips. Like botox, this procedure is quite common but where the main ingredient comes from is just bizarre. Notwithstanding the ninth item on this list - there are two main sources of collagen, a protein responsible for skin strength and elasticity, bovine (cow) and… human. About three in 100 people experience an allergic reaction to bovine-derived collagen which has prompted manufacturers to source collagen from aborted fetuses, placentas, and donated cadavers as the probability of an allergic reaction is virtually non-existent. Possibly the most morally outraging source of collagen is the rumored harvesting of collagen from executed prisoners in China, taken without the consent of the prisoner or their family and exported to the UK for socialites to shoot into their faces.

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Botox injections

While the botox procedure to prevent frown lines and wrinkles may sound fairly familiar and commonplace if you think about what you’re having injected into your skin it really is quite bizarre. Botulinum toxin (bo + tox = botox) is one of the most poisonous naturally occurring substances on the planet and the single most toxic protein. Eating food contaminated with Clostridium botulinum can lead to serious food poisoning (the fatality rate is 5 to 10%) if there is toxin present. One microgram (1/1000000 of a gram) is lethal to humans. The amounts used in cosmetic procedures are consequently very small.

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Snake Venom Cream

The neurotoxins produced by members of the cobra family of snakes (and some vipers and rattlesnakes) act on prey by blocking the nerve impulses to the muscles and inducing paralysis. Realizing that snake venom could produce a similar effect to that of Botox, the beauty industry has come up with a synthetic form of snake venom that is applied to the face as a cream rather than injected. It is meant to be safer and less invasive. The venom that was used to create the synthetic version comes from ‘snake farms’ in Brazil where thousands of snakes are ‘milked’ for their venom.

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Placenta Wrinkle Cream

According to manufacturers of the product, placenta wrinkle cream derived from bovine placentas can slow down the appearance of visible signs of aging by moisturizing skin and combating wrinkles. Some companies also use plant placenta (yes, flowering plants have placentas!) and even human. Claims were first made in the 1940s (when this idea was first marketed) that the nutrient rich placenta gave off the benefits of hormones and stimulated cell growth. Since the FDA quickly decided that this constituted a medical claim, saying this became illegal in the US. The manufacturers changed these claims to say that the proteins present in the placenta moisturize one’s skin and hair.

 

[Royaux]

A little boy goes to his dad (a Datuk) and asked, “What is Politics?”

The Datuk Dad answered, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her The Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you The People.
The Maid, we will consider her The Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him The Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense?”
So the little boy went off to bed thinking about what his Datuk Dad had said.

Later that night, he heard his baby brother crying, so he got up to check on him.
He found that the baby had severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy ran off to his parent’s room and found his mother sound asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he then proceeded to the Maid’s room.
Finding the door locked, he peeked through the keyhole and saw his father in bed with the Maid.
He gave up and went back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy exclaimed to his Datuk father,
“Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now,”

The Datuk father was delighted, “Great son! Tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”

The little boy replied,
“The Prime Minister is screwing The Working Class while The Government is sound asleep.
The People are being ignored and The Future is in deep sh!t.”

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Bull semen hair treatment

How dedicated are you to having smooth, shiny hair? If you’re serious enough there’s the option (in the UK at least) to have a hairdresser massage bull semen into your scalp. The reasoning behind this “ewww” inducing idea? Hair is made up of protein, although essentially your hair is dead, and some proteins can help form a protective layer around the hair. Some people thought it would be a good idea to market protein treatments as a way of keeping your hair healthy anyway. The supposedly ultimate source of concentrated protein? Bull semen.

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Bird Poo Facial Treatment

There is an old Japanese beauty secret making its way over to the western world. It’s called ‘uguisu no fun‘ or sterilized nightingale droppings. An enzyme called guanine (also added to various make up products for its pearly sheen) found in the nightingale’s droppings apparently does a good job of bleaching and exfoliating skin. Kabuki actors and geishas have been using uguisu no fun for hundreds of years to remove make up and to keep their skin soft. The joy of spreading bird excrement on your face doesn’t come as cheap as a jar of Olay though. It’s around twenty US dollars for one ounce. If you’d rather have someone else do the smearing, you can go to the Shizuka Day Spa in New York and $180 later your face will be smooth and soft.

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Fish Pedicure

If you’re willing to give the leeches a go, you might also be interested in letting a school of small fish nibble the dead skin cells off your toes. The idea is that you put your feet into a tank containing a species of carp (doctor fish) and wait 15 to 30 minutes while they feast on your calluses. Because the fish are toothless the process is meant to be very safe, as they can only suck off pieces of dead, flaking skin. In Turkey, where the treatment originated, the fish live in natural hot springs and are a popular skin care option for the people who bathe there.

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Leech Therapy

Letting blood-sucking parasites attach their slimy bodies to you as a ‘detox’ sounds like a questionable idea. However, leech therapy, or hirudotherapy, has been practiced since 1020 AD for treating skin disease and helping patients recover from surgery. These days, leeches can be used in the treatment of varicose veins, reducing blood coagulation, and helping stimulate blood circulation in reattached organs that require critical blood flow. If you are more adventurous you can follow in the footsteps of celebrities, such as Demi Moore, and make your way to Austria to have your blood feasted on by the medicinal species of leech, Hirudo medicinalis.

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Pig’s Foot Diet

This odd treatment isn’t plastered on your face, or combed through your hair, but eaten instead. Pig’s feet are being marketed as an edible way to combat wrinkles by New York restaurant Hakata Tonton’s owner. He figures that since the tootsies of the pig contain a high amount of collagen (which is used in anti wrinkle creams and lip injections) a person might as well eat them to gain similar benefits. Although collagen is one of the major proteins involved in maintaining skin and muscle tone, consuming a meal of pig trotters is almost certainly a less effective method of keeping the scalpel away than simply maintaining a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and staying out of the sun.

 

[zac08]

10 Bizarre Beauty Products


Snail Slime Cream

Because snails can heal and regenerate their shells using the slime they secrete the beauty industry is now using the slime of the common garden snail species (Helix aspersa) in beauty products. The myriad of claims for its efficacy range from getting rid of acne to improving stretch marks and scarring. The snail secretion, which is also used by the snail to reduce friction as it moves, seems to have anti-bacterial in addition to antioxidant qualities. If it works for the snail, why not put it on your face?

 

[Dream Merchant]

OUTSTANDING JOB ZAC! :thumbsup:

Everyone else went to beddy bye early tonight it appears...

 

[maddyks]

Hmm we need to have a round table meeting soon to discuss the character sketches.

And I shall pray for your father Jimmy. Don't worry. And give lots of love to your father. He needs it now. Need anything done - let us know.

And Zac oh Zac, what would we do without you? Keep going my brother

 

[zac08]

And I'm going to bed.... you peeps carry on...