I'm not a forgiving person and I won't pretend to be one. You can lie to others but not yourself.
forgive & forget - dont think anyone can do this well. forgive is one thing, forget is another thing.
forgive and then what? embrace and trust that person like before again? i dont do revenge but i tend to shun very far from these people. i think i tend to trust people alot, but until they crossed the line. the best thing is, they do you wrong and expect you to pretend nothing has happened & you should be forgiving.
and no, i am not a forgiving person in this case. life still goes on, whether i forgive them or not. period.
From religion point of view, for example,
In Christianity, God will forgive all your sins. But can you forgive others?
In Buddhism, there is a saying - 怨怨相抱何时了,放下屠刀,立地成佛, 善哉, 善哉。
How many people can do it? Perhaps that's life.
I don't think forgiving means forgetting. Forgiving means that you empathise with the person for what he did, and bear any ill will toward him. But because you empathise, you will know why he did those things. If those elements are not removed, he ill do it to you again if given the same situation.
So forgiving is good... but forgetting is not. That is my view.
forgiving is good in what sense? how about you forgave that person more than once, and same kind of wrong things keep repeating & repeating ?
Someone once said that we should forgive 70 X 7 times. Figuratively means as many times as needed.
I learn to forgive when I realise that I am no angel and needs to be pardoned more than many people I know. I also realise that when I forgive someone totally, I am released from the hurt that I am keeping in my heart.
It is definitely not easy and I am still learning.
怨怨相抱 and 放下屠刀 not matched leh...
Someone once said that we should forgive 70 X 7 times. Figuratively means as many times as needed.
I learn to forgive when I realise that I am no angel and needs to be pardoned more than many people I know. I also realise that when I forgive someone totally, I am released from the hurt that I am keeping in my heart.
It is definitely not easy and I am still learning.
Bro, you must read in complete phrase, not truncated.
怨怨相抱何时了.
forgiving is good in what sense? how about you forgave that person more than once, and same kind of wrong things keep repeating & repeating ?
i might be wrong, but i think being forgiving is really easier - for the one who has done wrong obviously and perhaps the one who has been let down, BUT easier doesnt mean better. life is such - we keep living on, regardless forgiven or not.
Forgiving does not mean that you let the person do wrong to you over and over.
For example, if a husband beats the wife over and over, the wife should leave him so that he can't do it again. That is about not forgetting.
However, it would be very good if she can bear no ill will towards him after that. That is about forgiving.
But then again, these things are easier said than done when great wrongs are done. That is why I say I need to try very hard to forgive... and I usually need some time.
I have only two cheeks.
Slap one side, I forgive and forget
Slap the other, I forgive and am weary
.....slap once more then I can forgive but I don't forget
怨怨相抱 and 放下屠刀 not matched leh...