persistent wooer...help!
- Thread starter jeanie
- Start date
- Status
have an affair then.:sticktong
:bsmilie: no thanks, from the way you described him, it's like you're thinking to yourself if I had a dog that looks like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards... am I right ?
ok guys, enough of banter.
thanks for all advises.
really wonder if he surfs CS.
he has been very quiet today.:bsmilie:
暴风雨的前夕是平静的......something is cooking......he might be plotting his final assault.......God bless....I start worrying for you :lovegrin:
disclaimer: i dont mean to start this thread to blow my own ego over cyberspace.
i need you guys' advice...again.
i have a VERY persistent colleague who's overly infatuated with me.
it has become like an obsession and it's really affecting me.
eg,
1)he'll wait at carpark lift lobby for me everyday to go in office with me
2)he'll come to my office and ask me if i want to dine out or whether i would like him to dabao for me
3)he'll persistently ask me out for movies/dinner/a walk in the park
4)he'll send me "have a nice day email" almost everyday, not to mention BD,and special occasions like valentines/xmas
5)he'll come over every time and ask if i have time as he has things to tell me.then he'll start telling me those mushy stuffs and i'll just brush and walk off.
these are just some examples of what irritates me.
i've turn him down up front in the face countless of times.but maybe men just dont get it?:dunno:
and they say being loved is much luckier than you loving someone else?
i seriously doubt this.
any suggestions?:embrass:
Disfigure youself... problem solved....:bsmilie:
how about introducing him to your over-perfumed colleague? who knows, he might like her. :think:
mine is just a suggestion. :bsmilie: its like hitting 2 birds with 1 stone. :bsmilie:
mine is just a suggestion. :bsmilie: its like hitting 2 birds with 1 stone. :bsmilie:
Is he handsome... snap a photo of him & put it up here for all of us to see leh... then we see the person maybe we can suggest a suitable method... :think:
The worst thing about guys like this - is that they don't know when they OT.
When you're unkind to them they think you're playing hard to get. You're a game.
You need to have a frank talk with the guy and tell him that he is upsetting you and you would be grateful if he would back off as you have no desire what's so ever to having a relationship with him. If he still continues you should report him to HR (if your company has an HR).
If you feel sorry for the guy and "don't want to get him fired" then sadly you may have to put up with it. He'll hang onto the time you gave him a lift in your car or when you first met him you smiled and were nice to him.
I have had a similar experience and hoped that the guy would disappear and did stupid things so that he would understand that I am not interested. Example: I invited him out for a drink with another buddy, got him to buy the drinks, shook his hand and said goodbye and my friend reaffirmed this. We left him and he didn't get it! This went on for four years when I was stupid and naive! Some guys (sorry guys) are so thick they think you're playing a game.
Good luck jeanie and hope you have a better way of getting him off your back.
---Agony Aunt---
When you're unkind to them they think you're playing hard to get. You're a game.
You need to have a frank talk with the guy and tell him that he is upsetting you and you would be grateful if he would back off as you have no desire what's so ever to having a relationship with him. If he still continues you should report him to HR (if your company has an HR).
If you feel sorry for the guy and "don't want to get him fired" then sadly you may have to put up with it. He'll hang onto the time you gave him a lift in your car or when you first met him you smiled and were nice to him.
I have had a similar experience and hoped that the guy would disappear and did stupid things so that he would understand that I am not interested. Example: I invited him out for a drink with another buddy, got him to buy the drinks, shook his hand and said goodbye and my friend reaffirmed this. We left him and he didn't get it! This went on for four years when I was stupid and naive! Some guys (sorry guys) are so thick they think you're playing a game.
Good luck jeanie and hope you have a better way of getting him off your back.
---Agony Aunt---
my suggestions...
think of a reason then ask ur boss to allow u to temporary change ur office hour to start at 9.30am says for a month. this assume he must start punctually at 9am without flexi.
if ur do need go out to meet clients in the course of work, schedule them in the morning, every morning.
since u sit in a room, ask ur subordinates outside or friendly (male) colleagues to arrange meetings at 9am (before 9am is better if allowed) that need this person to attend/prepare. better still the meeting requires some numbers crunching or watever the night before, and ask his boss to only tell him just before he knock off, so asking u out is no go. but i personally discourage the latter.
change car, so he cannot recognise it.
change carpark to another nearby building, and walk to office.
gets a lift from a friend who works in the area to work. best if a hunk of cos.
....
think of a reason then ask ur boss to allow u to temporary change ur office hour to start at 9.30am says for a month. this assume he must start punctually at 9am without flexi.
if ur do need go out to meet clients in the course of work, schedule them in the morning, every morning.
since u sit in a room, ask ur subordinates outside or friendly (male) colleagues to arrange meetings at 9am (before 9am is better if allowed) that need this person to attend/prepare. better still the meeting requires some numbers crunching or watever the night before, and ask his boss to only tell him just before he knock off, so asking u out is no go. but i personally discourage the latter.
change car, so he cannot recognise it.
change carpark to another nearby building, and walk to office.
gets a lift from a friend who works in the area to work. best if a hunk of cos.
....
Hi Jeanie
I have to agree with most of what everyone says here....
Its best that you have to let someone in the office know especially one with the higher athourity. If any warning or counselling doesn't seem to work then you have to make a police report. From my experience of handling some cases like these, at times, people who are extremely stress, they do not realised that they caused destruction to themselves and others. Obsessing and stalking are so called mental disorders but right now your 'persistent wooer' hasnt really show signs that he is so called 'mental' yet. He is best first deal with a written warning... then... if no improvement... then... to the police.
I know that its hard when you tried to avoid unnecessary situation but since its very obvious that you are deeply disturbed by these then you have to start taking the right and proper actions.
Good luck Jeanie!
I have to agree with most of what everyone says here....
Its best that you have to let someone in the office know especially one with the higher athourity. If any warning or counselling doesn't seem to work then you have to make a police report. From my experience of handling some cases like these, at times, people who are extremely stress, they do not realised that they caused destruction to themselves and others. Obsessing and stalking are so called mental disorders but right now your 'persistent wooer' hasnt really show signs that he is so called 'mental' yet. He is best first deal with a written warning... then... if no improvement... then... to the police.
I know that its hard when you tried to avoid unnecessary situation but since its very obvious that you are deeply disturbed by these then you have to start taking the right and proper actions.
Good luck Jeanie!
really wonder if he surfs CS.
he has been very quiet today.:bsmilie:
Whatever gets the job done.
Next time he comes over, just spill your tea on his pants lah...
A few accidents later, he will stop coming over... just to avoid the inconvenience.
If he asks... just tell him that you cannot stop him from wooing you, but he cannot stop you from having accidents.
- Status
Similar threads
