Window

[psalmanazar]

This is a photo from a series of photographs from a project titled "Urban solitude". This project intends to portray a hidden loneliness in a big city where people see each other without seeing and where a drama happens unnoticed every day behind the walls.

This particular photo was taken in Tokyo and the main intention is to convey a message of waiting for things that never come, for dreams that never materialize; it also tries to depict a beginning of a long journey of self discovery that is doomed to fail.

I am asking if I managed to convey the above emotions and if not, what viewers emotions are (if any). I am also interested in technical remarks such as a proper choice of exposure, cropping and tonality.

I personally like this picture very much but I am aware that my emotional attachment to it makes me blind to a real emotional value of the photo. This is why I am interested in other's opinion about it.

 

[Adrian1987]

i like the effect! but is it slanted to the right a little bit?

 

[kei1309]

for me. because of the silhouette of the girl, it looks so dark that i feel like i'm staring into emptiness. it gives me a feel of loneliness, because it feels like there is a girl there, but at the same time it feels like she's not there. or she's supposed to be there but there's just an emptiness where she's supposed to be.

i dunno. that's just me.

 

[foxtwo]

I'm usually much more interested in the composition so my comments will be as such. I have no issues technically.

I like the inclusion of the block, it's cold, monotonous in more ways than one. It's arguable whether some might prefer a flat landscape. But it being Tokyo I feel it's true to the location.

Can't tell which direction the subject is facing, as it's a full silhouette. Suspect she's facing out but would have so much more impact to give the subject a face for us to relate to and develop interest in her well-being and growth throughout the series. Inclusion of her soft toy is subjective. To me, the soft toy is her companion on living, someone (even if it lives in her mind) whom she can talk to and lay her burdens on, etc. and do you want to portray her journey with a companion or without? What is to be her state of mind and does it evolve through the series?

The story is yours to tell. I just hope these little details are thought of deeply rather than the explanation being "it's her favourite toy" or "it ups the kiddy factor", it would make the message so much more poignant. I have the feeling many other comments to be not as critical and hope you take my words in all possible good will. It's totally hard to have a favourite photograph torn up, but especially so for a series with such serious themes where every little detail is dissected via observation and inferring context clues. Am quite curious to see the rest of the series and how it progresses & ends according to your writeup. Good work on undertaking the project.

 

[psalmanazar]

Hey Adrian1987,

Indeed, it looks slanted. It was shot with 35mm Zeiss lens so it seems to be a perspective distortion due to the relatively wide angle of this lens.

Cheers

dag

 

[psalmanazar]

Hey kei1309,

I like your point of view. I haven't thought about this photo like this. But now that you said it I feel like I got some more insight into what I shot myself. Many thanks!

Cheers

Dag

 

[psalmanazar]

Hey foxtwo,

Thank you very much for your time to write analyze my photo and write your thoughts on it.

If you are interested in "Urban solitude" series you can have a look here: http://dogg.smugmug.com/Art/Urban-Solitude/15362032_rrWHb#1149489719_9HV7i

The series is rather abstract in its nature so it does not evolve around one subject (a little girl) but rather around the concept of solitude in big cities where madness seeps through ordinary things to be only revealed by careful inspection.

In my mind, the toy is, as you said, an ersatz of a real companion. Solitude in big cities starts very early, when your parents don't have time for you anymore cos they have to work whole day to pursue their careers. So, the girl is waiting and yearning for parental love. At the same time she experiences reality by absorbing images of concrete jungle that unfolds before her eyes. These images assimilate with her and late, when she grows up, she becomes part of the madness.

Many thanks for your words!

Cheers

Dag

 

[derrickder]

I like the composition and mood, but I don't like the silhouette of the girl when the teddy bear is defined, it 'pops' too much. Would've preferred both to be detailed/silhouettes.

 

[kei1309]

some of the images really look lonely.

 

[Peano]

I am asking if I managed to convey the above emotions ....

Yes. An excellent photo. Just two suggestions for post-processing. 1) Correct the perspective so the vertical lines of the buildings are plumb and the window sill is level (a little trickier than it sounds -- it's more than a simple rotation), and 2) brighten the window sill to make it clearer that the little girl is facing away from the camera. Like this ...

 

[foxtwo]

Hey foxtwo,

Thank you very much for your time to write analyze my photo and write your thoughts on it.

If you are interested in "Urban solitude" series you can have a look here: http://dogg.smugmug.com/Art/Urban-Solitude/15362032_rrWHb#1149489719_9HV7i

The series is rather abstract in its nature so it does not evolve around one subject (a little girl) but rather around the concept of solitude in big cities where madness seeps through ordinary things to be only revealed by careful inspection.

In my mind, the toy is, as you said, an ersatz of a real companion. Solitude in big cities starts very early, when your parents don't have time for you anymore cos they have to work whole day to pursue their careers. So, the girl is waiting and yearning for parental love. At the same time she experiences reality by absorbing images of concrete jungle that unfolds before her eyes. These images assimilate with her and late, when she grows up, she becomes part of the madness.

Many thanks for your words!

Cheers

Dag

Hey Dag,

interesting photos and execution overall. Just a comment if you don't mind, I think compositions which are strong and lead by themselves are the best, you have a few of those. The urban myths few I rather thought was a little too tacky and trying. Better to stick with the serious side and not the horror genre. Hah, though you probably had a blast shooting them.

cheers

 

[PopSoda]

I love this picture! Tells a very nice story... I was actually wondering if she was facing in or out until I saw her left leg.. From this, I realized that her facing is a powerful language. Thanks for sharing.

 

[psalmanazar]

Hey foxtwo,

Thanks for your comments. Of course, I don't mind criticism After all, I want to move forward. As for the Urban myths photos, I see your point. I don't agree with your opinion but it definitely made me think my approach over for which I thank you a lot!

 

[psalmanazar]

Hey Peano,

Thanks a lot for your suggestions. I fully agree with you about the vertical lines. I am not sure while I overlooked this detail. I guess, this is always a problem if you can't look critically at your own photographs because you see them through an emotional prism. As for the exposure, I really wanted to achieve the look I presented. By the way, I am using mac with its native gamma. If you are using Windows, could it be that your gamma is different and this is why you perceive this photo darker than it really is?

Cheers

Dag

 

[psalmanazar]

Hey derrickder,

Thanks for your comment. What I find really cool about photography is that it is such a flexible medium and the same picture can be made look in a very different way depending on artist's preference. In my mind, I wanted the little girl look isolated, sort of less important than the toy. But I see your point and I think that it would also work. Many thanks!

Dag

 

[ionicbeam]

nice composition idea, like it minor adjustments to verticals as mentioned before will do. I prefer the unedited version because of the black window framing, invokes the solitary feeling more.