What would you have done?

[esmondng]

cos initially the post-er said this person wasn't a close fren. so no need to give face mah.
i think everyone got fair share of this issue before.

some of the people b4 said quite rite. if its a good fren then kiss the money good bye cos the r/ship is worth more than the $$$. but if it's not someone significant to u, then i'd said dun lend loh. i also got many bad debts till now. think got 5 figure le.

 

[wazzup]

That's not true. My friend borrowed some 5K from me in the past. Paid back in full. It was a sensitive issue, and he was quite sheepish about it... but I have known him from years.... and the story leading to the cashflow problem was believable (no funeral involved). But this friend also brought me out and paid for all my meals and drinks when I was out of a job. He did not take offence when I gave him a tiny ang pow during his wedding when I was jobless. That's what friends are for, right? We take care of each other in times of need.

But in Benign's scenario with the funeral story, I won't lend. First of all, he disappeared for a long time, and turned up just for money. That's a bit telling.

You have to be the judge. Is the friend really a friend?

Ok, perhaps, I shouldn't say that in such a hasty manner.

Maybe I can rephrase it as such: I would prefer friends to remain friends without the introduction of $ matters. I value my friendship/relationship over $, by not loaning expensive items (cameras, notebooks etc) and not loaning $, it's easier not to strain and/or bank on the possibility that such a thing might happen.

If the person understands, then it's only a short period of dissappointment, if he/she doesn't, then it's good that you didn't loan any in the first place.

Friends and relationships are hard to come by, $ should be the least of worries. It can be avoided.

 

[jdredd]

there are some friends.. i wouldnt think twice about it. if i could afford it, definitely would lend them. becausethese are the friends i know would pay me back.. but for someone who is not really a friend.. the answer would be no.

 

[Sharpion]

there are some friends.. i wouldnt think twice about it. if i could afford it, definitely would lend them. becausethese are the friends i know would pay me back.. but for someone who is not really a friend.. the answer would be no.

ya i agree. for the ppl i know and trust, no need to think will just lend. for this case, i would say NO also.

 

[Yappy]

That's not true. My friend borrowed some 5K from me in the past. Paid back in full. It was a sensitive issue, and he was quite sheepish about it... but I have known him from years.... and the story leading to the cashflow problem was believable (no funeral involved). But this friend also brought me out and paid for all my meals and drinks when I was out of a job. He did not take offence when I gave him a tiny ang pow during his wedding when I was jobless. That's what friends are for, right? We take care of each other in times of need.

But in Benign's scenario with the funeral story, I won't lend. First of all, he disappeared for a long time, and turned up just for money. That's a bit telling.

You have to be the judge. Is the friend really a friend?

You are friends. More if you are lucky to find any!!!!

Yappy & happy

 

[Yappy]

The last time someone tried to pull this stunt on me asked for, "U have how much give me how much." earned a, "Sorry, no money. I'm flying off to Japan tomorrow for my holiday." :bsmilie:

It was much later, I found out that this particular someone violated his job contract terms, refused to serve out his period of contract and the company wanted him to pay out X amount of money for violation of his contract.

That chap is well known for vanishing for several years only to resurface to borrow money. Screw him I'll say.

You are right. This chat, this someone are good terms to use. They are just persons not worth and do not belong to the 'friend' circle.

Sometimes it is good to 'buy' to know someone. So far, i have not given anyting to 'beggar', people who look like monk or nun or.... as in Singapore, you can get help easily.

Free food is everywhere if you know where to find one.

Yappy & happy

 

[centuryegg]

I wouldn't say that friends wont borrow money from you. Put it this way, in times like now, there are sometimes in which friends really need money. Youngsters might not understand but when u are middle age, retrenched, got family to feed, have sold off everything you can and cant get a job, you might really need to borrow money. Of course not all cases are like that, some are and some are not.


My belief? If you want to lend the money then make sure you be prepared to lose it and not get it back.... if you get it back, good for you. if not just take it as charity. Sometimes friendship cannot be so black and white.... if not it is not called friendship.

I have had a friend who had some financial problem when he was overseas, I just started working then and I lend him my salary to help him tide over the situation. Didnt expect him to return me the money soon, in the end he did. And recently when there was a funeral in the family, he was one of the few that came.... the rest all said "bad luck to come funeral sorry.... " His reasoning is I was there for him when he really needed help so even if what bad luck he will still come. That is what i call friendship

Another case was I lend money to someone online who needed to free 2 stray cats from AVA... again I didnt think she will return me the money but she did.

Of course there are also cases of those that take and never return... but well put it this way, as a friend once told me.... A few hundred or thousand dollars to know if he or she is a true friend? Worth it.... rather than years later when they betray me.