Streats: Why Singapore women go for ang moh men


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Adam Goi

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#1
Hi again.

Was directed to this article by the same friend; written by the same guy who wrote "No man is right for picky women".

Your views again? ;)


November 19, 2004

Why Singapore women go for ang moh men

By Philip Lee

JUST after I had finished writing my commentary last Thursday on Singaporean women being too picky in choosing mates, my colleague Godfrey Robert, who had read it, told me: When you return to work on Monday, be prepared for angry mail from women.

I said: Great. I hope there will be a healthy debate on the subject.

The subject, is, of course, old hat. But it never fails to excite robust comments from both sides.

We received quite a few responses and I am highlighting two letters, one from a Singaporean man disillusioned with local women, especially those educated overseas, and a woman who explains why she married an ang moh.

The male reader e-mailed a trenchant letter. He said: Singapore women have become too superficially Westernised or Americanised (without really grasping the finer features of Western culture).

They are too materialistic, self-centred and self-righteous to be worth the effort for men to woo them.

My single men friends would far prefer Malaysian women (those who have not lived here long enough to catch the dreaded disease) and, of course, Chinese ones.

In a nutshell, Singapore women, having watched too many Ally McBeal or Sex in the City episodes and other mindless stuff on TV and read too much of the drivel written by mostly women journalists, have forgotten that they are Asian.

Worse, they have forgotten how to be women.

Do Singapore women realise all this? They are probably too consumed with themselves to even notice.

And men who have despaired of and given up on Singapore women don't even want to bother telling them either, much less explain why.

So let these women continue to disparage Singapore men, sniff at men who don't make them laugh.

Goodness, when will they wake up to the fact that the silver-tongued 'ang mohs' who chat them up and sprout amusing crap want only, in the end, to bed them? And then say goodbye after it is all over?

A woman named Grace e-mailed to say: I started dating way back when I was 14 years old. I have dated Malays, Indians, and Chinese men all locals.

I have been happily married for more than five years to a strong, tall, handsome ang moh from Australia.

Am I a picky woman? Hell, yes!

I don't think anyone is looking for perfection. You can't be serious if you are. No one is perfect.

But everyone loves a confident person. Interviewers look for confidence in potential employees, mothers bring their kids to doctors they have confidence in, and people vote for a president who inspires confidence.

It's the same with looking for the other half in life. A sense of humour can be indicative of a person's confidence. This applies to both the man and the woman.

It says a lot about how you perceive the world. It tells the other person if you are the sort who can handle the situation when something goes wrong.

A positive outlook and a sense of humour definitely make a person very attractive.

Imagine, if you do not have confidence in the other person, would you want to spend the rest of your life with him or her?

So what is it, if anything, that separates local men from the 'ang moh'?

Is it this elusive C?

Looking back at all the men I have gone out with, my theory seems frighteningly true, or maybe, it's just my bad karma.

Many, not all, of my ex-boyfriends were not the confident sort.

Not too long after I graduated from university, I was engaged to a very intelligent man. But he was also a cynical person, perhaps because of his broken family background.

Although I could talk about everything under the sun with him, he would clam up at parties and wouldn't even try to make conversation. This embarrassed me.

After a while, we broke up.

Another example was a colleague who was a highly educated bachelor in his early 30s, good-looking and well-paid. He was an excellent conversationalist.

But he was poor in social skills. He had no confidence in himself and relied a lot on me for a second opinion about even the simplest things. Then I met my husband. He is comfortable with being himself. He doesn't care if his polka dot tie doesn't go exactly with the purple pinstripe shirt; he just laughs at himself when people tell him how silly he looks.

The big difference is that he moved out of his home when he was in his late teens, and went to university in another state. He had to work throughout his undergraduate years to upkeep himself.

He paid his rent, bought a car, cooked his own meals, did the dishes, cleaned the house, washed and ironed his clothes, and studied at the same time.

That's what made him different and so full of confidence. He had to fend for himself early in life.

Our local man may have the confidence to rattle the square root of 13 to the 15th decimal place, but what's the use of that?

Being picky is not such a bad thing if one does not do this in the extreme weigh everything, warts and all, and then decide.

Another male reader said: Many Singaporean or Asian women date or marry white men because they want to obtain PR status to live in the West.

A Streats reader who signed off as Roziah wrote: Sure a woman wants a man who makes her laugh. That is before she marries him. But after that, she wants him to be responsible, help do chores, help with the groceries and so on.

I have never found a need to find a man who makes me laugh, though that would be nice. I was looking for someone who would make me feel comfortable, that I can be myself when I am with him, who would make me feel important in his life.

If I need a laugh, I will probably go watch a comedy.
 

2100

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#2
My view is that if they go for ang mohs, then we go for Vietnam or Cambodia lor.

It's the weekend. Just a light hearted response, ok? ;) :angel:
 

kobee

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Sep 28, 2004
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#3
hey

i am just glad i found my lifelong partner (a true-blue sporean gal ... yeah :) ) and we will be getting married really soon! So guys and gals dun despair ! The whole thing is we should not stereo type ppl based on nationality etc etc etc ... you need to make an effort to get to know him/her to truly know for yourself! but i definitely agree abt some of the points made against sporean gals .... hehehe
 

2100

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I actually have an Indo-Chi wife, she's nice. But i must tell you that no matter which nationality she's from, one would still change if the mind is weak and upbringing poor. I guess the same would go for men too if there are such cases.

I think this is good advice if one is searching for foreigner partners. Choose properly.
 

kobee

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#5
haha

i used to have an indo chinese gal friend too but she was too havoc for me kekeke
 

Violett

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#7
Well, seems like Mr Goi glanced upon another interesting article again.. ;)

As I read through the article, alot of thoughts came into my mind. I would definitely agree that a positive outlook, confidence and a sense of humour makes a person very attractive. These traits however are not only found in Caucasians, in our local men as well, although they might belong to the minority (or rather there are more out there that we do not know.. :think: ).

Personally, I still feel that most local men (or those that I know... ) are rather shy and passive in a way.. but, I am proud to say that quite a handful of the guy friends I have are really great! Humour, confidence and all (some of them are CSers.. ;) ).

Hmm.... Local guys out there, you are attractive in your own way, so dun go packing to Vietnam or china yet eh... :bsmilie:
 

XXX Boy

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#8
Some sg girls are very materialistic and they go for glory and fame. So to be with a ang-mo expats shows that they have status in life. Thats all.
Ang-mo want sex from the gal and the gal wants $$$ from the ang-mo...fair and square! ;p
 

reachme2003

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Oct 6, 2003
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there goes another one. i wish this will last longer than the last, which died abruptly.
 

reachme2003

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kobee said:
hey

i am just glad i found my lifelong partner (a true-blue sporean gal ... yeah :) ) and we will be getting married really soon! So guys and gals dun despair ! The whole thing is we should not stereo type ppl based on nationality etc etc etc ... you need to make an effort to get to know him/her to truly know for yourself! but i definitely agree abt some of the points made against sporean gals .... hehehe
i am happy for you. a word of advice, be mentally prepared for the occasional 'hiccups' which will inevitably come your way. remember to give more and take less.
 

espn

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#12
Actually, I wanted to post this yesterday.. :bsmilie: Ahhh oh well... everybody's free to choose whom they love, as long as they truly love each other, who cares about skin color? ;)
 

adamadam

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#13
Why do some people prefer the black 300D over the silver 300D? both are equal in functions. It's personal preference.
 

espn

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#14
adamadam said:
Why do some people prefer the black 300D over the silver 300D? both are equal in functions. It's personal preference.
No ... I do certainly agree the black one is chio-er and looks nicer and better to have :bsmilie:

Heehee... j/k
 

GENO

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#15
Dont say like that about local women lah... not everyone of them will think tis way lah.

Maybe those that chose to be with ang moh is becourse the local guys they met are not good enough? Who is perfect anyway? If u think that u found a person who is perfect, wait until u find out their dark sides they are hiding!

Be yrself... if someones tell u that u are .... not so good enough to spend the rest of the life with, shoot back " how perfect you are yrself!"
 

espn

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#16
Actually, it's not local guys not good enough, most would just want to be lifted to higher society status, and marriage is one way too...

Hehehe... regarding how perfect one is, is not by judging, it's by understanding, only when one can see and understand the good and faults of the other, will they learn to cherish and help each other.

Just like nuts and bolts, if nuts doesn't have screw thread, how does the bolt compliment it? True love will happen when you learn to look beyond the faults.

Nobody's perfect. ;)
 

#17
Gosh....aren't they starting to generalized a little bit too much?? It almost looks like every SG ger out there is dying to get her claws on an ang moh man for the $$ and that nice green card off to greener pastures.

But think about it... for gers in Vietnam and Cambodia.. do you really think they are marrying for love? I think they are the same, they marry a foreigner like a SG man cos they wanna get out of their country and poverty. Love has nothing to do with it.

I dun follow Ally McBeal but I did more or less go through a season of Sex in the City... and it is pretty evident that men and women relate to the show differently. It all comes down to looking for love and security.

Maybe I'm just one of those rare and dying breeds.... who dun look for ang moh men hahahaha.....
 

John

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#19
Well..the view point that I have on those sg gers that I met arnt really that pleasant..I would like to summarize tham as follows :

1) Sg gers with their higer educations feels that they are of equal status , which I
dont mind but some do look down on those with lower deucation or lower work
status. The look up attitude and not look down attitude.

2) Sg gers does have this arrogant attitude in their day to day conversation and
behaviour that disregards other's feelings. The only I am right and I must win kinda
attitude too.

3) Sg gers also tends to be more demanding in their expectations in life as compared
to maybe the malaysians gers. Being the 5C's of course.

.........
 

espn

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#20
John, WELL SAID :thumbsup:

You're going to get flamed.... heehee... but it's so darn true in SG's society.
 

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