Photographer joke

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New Member
Feb 12, 2002
Singapore & Hong Kong
Like to start the ball rolling with this one...

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the
proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
"Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a
door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to
make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer.
"Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please come in and have a seat".

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where
do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in
the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it
didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good
one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot
from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be
disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a
bus," he said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at
her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four
and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes
wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling
- I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush
my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I
just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
actually chewed on your,"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready,
I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."


"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest
my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted.


New Member
Feb 26, 2006
he didn't tell her he could get 10 shots per second


New Member
Feb 15, 2007
Wonder if he intends to uses a hood indoors. Hee hee. Good one!


Staff member
Oct 10, 2006
yah lor, must improve on the techniques...whether where I did wrong, or was it a bad holding habit...:bsmilie:

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