loneliness


May 9, 2010
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#1
1. in what area is critique to be sought?
The whole picture composition background etc??

2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?
to show loneliness and stillness

3. under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
at the 4th floor of my school

4. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
how can I work to improve on the foreground? Is the composition correct? Should I focus more into the bamboo pole?


 

LArdius

New Member
Feb 2, 2009
171
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Singapore
#2
I think you should focus more on the bamboo pole and have more bokeh :bigeyes:

I'm no pro though :bsmilie:
 

Sep 28, 2008
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#5
whats so lonely abt this? care to explain? to be blunt... no subject. nothing to see
 

ohnogal8

New Member
May 10, 2010
15
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Singapore
#6
i'm no expert but erm, y u wanna focus on the bamboo when u wanna expression loneliness?? does the bamboo look lonely?? =)
 

Eworms

New Member
Oct 11, 2009
153
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0
#7
the photo is too "busy". Look once and I'm not sure where to focus.

One to two room flats? If you call it loneliness, you may need to look inside (hopefully the residents would allow). Or look at the shoes outside the door? You may find one pair of worn out shoes in a otherwise empty shelf. Try shooting that? Look here and there. Sure can shoot something to fit the theme. Some of these flats may allow you to see directly thru the front door into the kitchen. A lonely figure standing and looking out at the kitchen window, the figure dark while the outside of the window overexpose? Or sitting alone in the living room, with "stories" on the living room wall or floor eg photos, altar, state of furniture, expression of the subject?
 

Last edited:

pokiemon

Senior Member
Mar 5, 2005
2,039
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#8
yep agree with eworms it's too busy. the storyline is lost. also not sure if you want to do this black and white.
 

May 9, 2010
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#9
@eworms thanks for the comment i work on it.. wanted to focus on that bamboo pole should have zoom more into that..
 

auden09

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2009
1,796
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Singapore
#10
maybe if the shot is taken at another angle it will tell your story better. but then again, a single bambo sticking out of a building won't really mean loneliness. loneliness is an emotion.
 

Sep 8, 2009
615
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Choa Chu Kang
#11
no subject... doesnt fit the title either ???
try another subject that is more interesting ???
keep shooting !! :)
 

Feb 9, 2010
321
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#12
1. in what area is critique to be sought?
The whole picture composition background etc??

2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?
to show loneliness and stillness

3. under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
at the 4th floor of my school --> i like the idea it is featuring a 1 room flat.

4. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
how can I work to improve on the foreground? Is the composition correct? Should I focus more into the bamboo pole? --> i thought it would be nice to have a shot of an elderly person instead to depict loneliness of staying in a 1 room flat (if he/she is staying alone).
 

qwerty628

New Member
Jan 3, 2010
608
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0
#13
I don't get it. I don't see how this picture fits in with the title. Its too messy in my opinion, i'm practically looking all over the place. I can't really see your point of focus for the picture. You could try using a larger aperture and use the telephoto end of the lens for a thinner a depth of field and more compressed bqckground to emphasise your point of focus. If point of focus is the bamboo pole in the middle, its probably a good idea to try playing around with the rules of thirds instead of placing it dead centre. You could also try croppin it tighter to emphasise the pole. Black and white worked though imo, colour would have made it more distracting. Good job and keep trying :)
 

ovaltinemilo

Senior Member
Sep 12, 2009
2,819
0
0
Sin jia Po lah
#14
1. in what area is critique to be sought?
The whole picture composition background etc??
whole picture- the most prominent subject is HDB block with undesirable slight-tilting.

2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?
to show loneliness and stillness
The only lonely matter is the lone bamboo which is out of place...don't reli feel anything for me...

3. under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
at the 4th floor of my school --> i like the idea it is featuring a 1 room flat.
No one is pro and work with the HDB designer. From here,I can't really tell it's 1 room or 3 room or even 5 room...

4. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
how can I work to improve on the foreground? Is the composition correct? Should I focus more into the bamboo pole? --> i thought it would be nice to have a shot of an elderly person instead to depict loneliness of staying in a 1 room flat (if he/she is staying alone).
i thought it would be nice to have a shot of an elderly person instead to depict loneliness of staying in a 1 room flat (if he/she is staying alone)
This sounds better an idea...
 

May 9, 2010
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#15
hey guys thanks so much for the feedback currently working on the theme loneliness for my school project. will keep on shooting.. @ qwerty628 tks for that info but im curious what do u mean by the telephoto end of the lens for a thinner a depth of field??
 

May 9, 2010
20
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32
#16
btw guys any idea where i can find those 1 room flats??
 

Eworms

New Member
Oct 11, 2009
153
0
0
#18
Don't really need one-room flats. Any area of Singapore that is aging and has not gone through upgrading is worth a try. I think Chinatown area could be a good start?
 

Feb 9, 2010
321
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#19
i thought it would be nice to have a shot of an elderly person instead to depict loneliness of staying in a 1 room flat (if he/she is staying alone)
This sounds better an idea...
its likely to be a 1 room flat. Bet you've nvr stepped into 1 before? I know cos i've lived in 1 before. :)
 

Feb 9, 2010
321
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#20
btw guys any idea where i can find those 1 room flats??
Tanglin Halt has a few blocks like those you took in the pix with the open corridor (theres a railway track nearby).

There might still be some old design with corridor between 2 flats; long, dimly lit and narrow corridor from one end of the block to the other. I know of some blocks in Bukit Ho Swee but has since torn down. Redhill/ Meiling Street may have. Prolly those in the older generation might know.
 

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