How To Stop Being Judgemental

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Sep 25, 2005
Yew Tee
Dedicated to those CSers who enjoy insprational articles, here it goes:

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]How to Stop Being Judgemental [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

Extracts from 93.8FM

Judgmental people wish their beliefs, their habits, their way of life on others. They look down their nose at people who don't live up to their potential. But, your way feels right, you say. Well, your way feels right to you because of who you are, and it IS right for you. But, it is arrogant to think that others should act, be, and make the same choices that you do. For all of our differences, as long as we aren't out there raping, killing and molesting, we deserve love, respect and acceptance.

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]During our personal-growth travels, we'll inevitably find things we don't like about ourselves. Many of us will learn that we are judgmental of others. We will realize that if not conquered it will erode our pathway to enlightenment. But, how does one change from being a judgmental person to being a person who accepts others for who they are? [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Say you see someone in line at the post office. He wears faded-gray sweat pants, a ratty T-shirt, and dirty tennis shoes. In your judgmental days, you'd be aghast that he could leave home looking like that. You've judged him to be uncaring of her appearance, or you've judged him to be poor, or you've judged him in some other way. [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]But, now that you are a student of personal growth and are trying to get rid of this unfavorable side of yourself, you see that there could be a myriad of reasons why he chooses to present himself that way. Perhaps he's in deep grief from a personal loss and so he does not care about her appearance. It could be any reason. The point is that he is who he is and you are who you are. How one presents themselves in public is none of your business, nor is it up to you to dictate how another person runs his life. Your way is right for you. His way is right for him. [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Now that you know how to not to be judgmental, when the urge to be judgmental rears it ugly head, just think of all the reasons this person might have for doing what you deem to be the "wrong" thing. Soon, you'll have a new habit of going around with compassion in your soul for the people in which we share this world. [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As a student of personal growth, your payoff is huge, and when you become non-judgmental you will indeed gain "forgiveness, compassion and peace." It's a wonderful feeling to be unsaddled from thinking ill of others. This is not to say that others will quit judging you just because you aren't judging of others. After all, they may not yet know that there is such a thing as being non-judgmental or of becoming a better person! All you can do is continue on your journey. [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Remember, it's none of your business whether they are on a path of enlightenment or not; your business is with building a better you.[/FONT]

Jan 22, 2004
Good piece, suggest you send it to Prime Minister's office.


New Member
Nov 21, 2005
Nice read. I think it is a bit unrealistic tho coz judgemental is a very human thing. It is only something we can hope to become.


Senior Member
Feb 24, 2005
we make judgments everyday
it is ok if you are fairly well balanced person and well informed
and prepared to accept that you can be wrong
and change your view if proven so

the other extreme is to be completely clueless about everything and have no opinion on everything. easily swayed and misled.


New Member
May 5, 2004
Sun_Of_The_Beach said:
There are people vetting his emails on his behalf one. How I know? Coz I know one of them. ;)
anyone send him junk mail? :sweat:


New Member
May 27, 2002
Visit site
It could be self discipline once you are aware of this behaviour as the inner critics inside could be:

“We tell ourselves so many lies and half-truths ... We listen and are duly impressed by these inner voices that turn into unseen judges that nag at us. We give each of these judges a seat of honor in our minds, all the while hating their guts and their never-ending supply of judgements ... We give the judges permission to accompany us on each journey of life, never daring to realize that we can park them, at least momentarily.”

- Eloise Ristad

“The Inner Critic makes each of us a child.
As we become the child in our relationships,
we lose our sense of self. We are no longer
self-contained, self-respecting adults.
We look to others for validation.
Our self-worth is based upon their opinion of us.
Thus, everyone around us becomes a mother or a father
whose support and approval is desperately needed to protect
us from the constant criticism of the Inner Critic.”

- Hal and Sidra Stone



Senior Member
Oct 18, 2004
doug3fflux said:
this thread should be called " How to Stop Being Humane ".


We are always judgemental. If we are not, that means we have no thoughts, ideas, preferences, well, no judgements on anything, of our own. The key here is, after judgement is made, is it necessary for us to voice it, it is appropraite for us to tell, and more importantly, after we have expressed our opinion, how we react if the other party does not buy our judgement.

The article posted by the OP, it's way too political correct, it makes me cringe.

Sep 25, 2005
Yew Tee
doug3fflux said:
Trust me on this one: he does'nt read his mail.
Thats right, I can confirm on this. Otherwise, he would have have replied to my mail and meet up with me last week for coffee.;)

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