Discipline


Mar 30, 2013
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#1
1. in what area is critique to be sought?
composition, post-processing, colours

2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?
to highlight the discipline required in Uniformed Groups

3. under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
taken on a late morning, was walking through when I saw this and decided to take the atmosphere down

4. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
I think it captures the story behind the picture, but have not much idea on composition and how to make it better


Berated by alwaysjerricky, on Flickr
 

Dec 12, 2009
1,961
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#2
It looks pretty like a snapshot but again I supposed it is a snapshot. Not sure if your gear at that time allows but I would probably focus on just 2 people's face expressions. The trainer and the lady next to her. Also I might try taking a picture not perpendicular to them, it looks kinda flat but from a different angle in a way trying to capture their faces lined up in a diagonal form.

Not much comments on the IQ, just straighten the horizon and I would prefer a little more exposure or perhaps convert to mono colour as the original colours in the image is not vibrant to capture my attention or reflect the 'mood' at that time.

Just my 2 cents.:bsmilie:
 

thoongeng

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2010
1,275
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#3
Hmm I feel the lady on the right smiling breaks my idea of 'discipline', and to a smaller extent the guy and the lady looking right (I thought if they have discipline they would be still looking straight like the other 2)

Composition wise there is nice side light coming in making the people stand out more against the background, however I feel there isn't anything to grab my attention...
Post-processing / colours wise... maybe can brighten up the faces a bit more otherwise exposure generally looks ok

Thanks for sharing and explore more angles (one already suggested by gundamseed84) :)
 

rhino123

Moderator
Staff member
Sep 1, 2006
5,243
15
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NA
#4
Sorry if you find my words too harsh... but I didn't actually see anything in the picture that suggest discipline. The first thing that came into my mind was, "ill discipline"... as I saw the girl to the right talking and kind of waving her hands around when I believe they are suppose to be standing in attention, and I also see the middle guy and girl looking to the area of the talking girl.

Composition wise... I am not sure if it was me... but I find the photo a bit tilted, maybe it is the angle the shot was taken.

Just my two cents.
 

Dec 12, 2012
871
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Singapore
#5
I like the moment that was captured. The animated girl on the extreme right contrasts very nicely with the others who are trying as much as possible to stand at attention.

When considering the framing, I doubt it would be possible to have framed it better given the fact the the moment was fleeting.
You might wanna consider cropping the scene to only include the 3 girls. That'd place more emphasis on the girl with the expression of exasperation. (Cos there will be less elements of distraction. And she herself isn't the best visual anchor)
You could also consider how you could make the dof thinner to increase subject-background separation. But given the situation, I'm guessing that would only be possible if you move in closer (not very possible in this case) or thru post processing.
And exposure is a little too dark I feel.

But good catch!
Cheers!
 

Mar 30, 2013
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#6
Okay thank you guys for your suggestions/comments!
 

leowyien

Senior Member
Jan 31, 2010
862
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Serangoon
#7
Very spontaneous ah evening glow is nice but isnt made use of properly
 

zaren

Moderator
Staff member
Oct 27, 2003
10,975
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#8
Try to simplify the image a bit and remove the distracting elements. for me this would be a) colour, b) background. i would also suggest a tighter crop and omit the leftmost gentleman, so that the two flanking figures look at each other and help to frame the image. b&w conversion removes the distraction of colour, and a shallower DOF, as suggested by others, will remove the background clutter.

e.g.
 

alwaysjerricky

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2013
2,023
11
38
+65
#9
Try to simplify the image a bit and remove the distracting elements. for me this would be a) colour, b) background. i would also suggest a tighter crop and omit the leftmost gentleman, so that the two flanking figures look at each other and help to frame the image. b&w conversion removes the distraction of colour, and a shallower DOF, as suggested by others, will remove the background clutter. e.g.
Thanks a lot! I see a great change there!
 

Oct 7, 2004
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#10
Robert Capa once said that: If your pictures are not good enough, you're not close enough. The 2nd edited picture explains it all.
Try to get physically close to frame your subject will definitely make your picture better. Any other elements will become a distraction
if you included them.
 

kei1309

Senior Member
Apr 12, 2010
7,320
23
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Earth
www.facebook.com
#11
Robert Capa once said that: If your pictures are not good enough, you're not close enough. The 2nd edited picture explains it all.
Try to get physically close to frame your subject will definitely make your picture better. Any other elements will become a distraction
if you included them.
your FOV will still be wider, if you're using a wide-angle lens. if you wanted to cut off the distractions, using a telephoto lens would work better.

and i believe he said that for a different reason as well. it might work for his style/genre, but might not work for others.
 

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