Your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder


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jonkk

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Dec 29, 2006
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#1


This photograph was taken at 12.20pm on Sunday, 22 April 07 at East Coast Park.
I had gone there just after church because I had seen the beautiful blue skies and clouds. It's a good thing I also had my polariser with me.
The title is borrowed from a line from the song 'Fast Car' by Tracy Chapman.
On hindsight, i'd have cropped out distracting parts of the photo such as the unnecessary leaves at the top.

Settings:
18mm f/14 1/1000 ISO100
w/ Hoya CPL

1. in what area is critique to be sought?
I would like comments as to how I can improve the composition and also further suggestions as to how I can post-process the image to bring about different effects. I am not very well versed with Photoshop, so I'd like to learn more. Thanks! :)

2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work? / 3. under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
When I saw the couple at East Coast Park, spending time together and watching the beautiful scene by the beach, it made me think about what it means to have someone to watch the world go by with.
The two key things that I hope speak out in this photo are 1) the beautiful blue skies and beach setting (complemented by the sea and two trees) and 2) the couple, together enjoying the beauty set before them.


4. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
I liked the colours of the that presented itself to me that day, and the sheer simplicity of the couple sitting together.

This is my first post in the critique section :)
Thanks, in anticipation of your constructive feedback!
 

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night86mare

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Aug 25, 2006
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I can see the photo, but I wish it was bigger. Because while I can see it per se, I can't really see what is in it. =(

Can make it bigger?
 

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deckard

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Oct 13, 2006
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it looks like 3 rectangles in one big picture. too much sky and too small.
 

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SnapJaX

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Aug 13, 2006
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Bukit Batok
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nice pic you've got there, but IMHO a tighter crop would be better ya..as in the 2 trunks and the couple, and the clouds too?
 

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jonkk

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#5
Dec 29, 2006
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#5
Nigh86mare: So sorry, it's the biggest I could make it. the blogger version is bigger:
http://bp1.blogger.com/_tRZtmA1Mnps/Risk2nPSe5I/AAAAAAAAAGo/QTHQczA9Zok/s1600-h/ecpsmall.jpg .. Maybe you could view it there?

Thanks for the feedback Deckard and SnapJax. I tried alternate crops - such as vertical format and including less. But what i really wanted to keep as much as possible was that single large cloud (though it wasnt located at the centre). I felt cutting that cloud (or the sky for that matter) any lesser would lose that connotation of vastness, the majestic and beautiful world at large, so as to preserve the same feeling you would have while being there.

In addition to alternative cropping, I tried relocating my vantage point and found that it'd be very awkward to have the couple in a slanted position (rather than head on, as in the picture). any other suggestions on alternative takes or crops?

Thanks for the feedback guys :)
 

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night86mare

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Aug 25, 2006
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jonkk said:
I would like comments as to how I can improve the composition and also further suggestions as to how I can post-process the image to bring about different effects. I am not very well versed with Photoshop, so I'd like to learn more. Thanks! :)

When I saw the couple at East Coast Park, spending time together and watching the beautiful scene by the beach, it made me think about what it means to have someone to watch the world go by with.
The two key things that I hope speak out in this photo are 1) the beautiful blue skies and beach setting (complemented by the sea and two trees) and 2) the couple, together enjoying the beauty set before them.

I liked the colours of the that presented itself to me that day, and the sheer simplicity of the couple sitting together.
Click to expand...
Improvement of composition - you explained that you wanted to convey the idea that "what it means to have someone to watch the world go by with". But later on you state that you do not want to cut the big cloud up because it'd spoil the feeling of vastness.

But you see, I personally do not see any merit in the idea of vastness and the idea you're intending to convey - to watch the world go by with someone you love, there is no need to look at anything vast. So essentially based on your first stated purpose I think you should zoom in on the couple - they should be the central focus of your photo, not that cloud. And if that cloud is affecting the conveyance of your idea, then you should compromise and boot it out.

Like others have mentioned, there is too much space around the couple, which takes away focus from them. You are right, there is "sheer simplicity" of the couple sitting together, so milk that as best as you can! You have aptly positioned the couple in between the two tree trunks, it's a good perspective which creates a frame within a frame.

Anyways, I thought I might want to see some more details of the couple, so I did some fiddling with PS after doing the crop I thought was more appropriate for your title - mainly Shadows/Highlights (to lift up the shadows such that you can see just a slight bit more of the couple, and the fill in the sky, to me it is not vibrant enough yet) and little bit more contrast. Was considering cloning out the funny line thing at the bottom left but too lazy.

Hope you don't mind, let me know if you want it taken down:


*there are slight haloing problems around the tree trunks because i did the Shadows/Highlights pretty fast, but you can limit these by taking that step a little slower

Otherwise, props for a good eye. =)
 

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espion

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#7
Aug 25, 2005
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#7
my initial reaction was that the trees cut the sky and clouds up but on second look i think it is a unique and interesting framing, like three frames in a sequence.

So then I liked the three frames.

Only prob then are some distraction in these frames, namely top left corners in the 1st and 3rd frame. These are easily cloned away. And then maybe a little less foreground - the dappled shadowed ground is good too. And prob thats all I do.

As to your PS I think u oversharpened as there are haloes around the tree trunks and the waves on the beach pushed to saturation.

And if you PS skills are better then maybe u can consider cloning away the chain and its low post and even move some ships around :) ... but these are not really essential to the composition.

All in all I say good eye and thoughtful composition and I will give 8/10.
 

E

everybody

New Member
#8
Mar 15, 2006
9
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0
Queensland Australia
#8
jonkk said:


This photograph was taken at 12.20pm on Sunday, 22 April 07 at East Coast Park.
I had gone there just after church because I had seen the beautiful blue skies and clouds. It's a good thing I also had my polariser with me.
The title is borrowed from a line from the song 'Fast Car' by Tracy Chapman.
On hindsight, i'd have cropped out distracting parts of the photo such as the unnecessary leaves at the top.

Settings:
18mm f/14 1/1000 ISO100
w/ Hoya CPL

1. in what area is critique to be sought?
I would like comments as to how I can improve the composition and also further suggestions as to how I can post-process the image to bring about different effects. I am not very well versed with Photoshop, so I'd like to learn more. Thanks! :)

2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work? / 3. under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
When I saw the couple at East Coast Park, spending time together and watching the beautiful scene by the beach, it made me think about what it means to have someone to watch the world go by with.
The two key things that I hope speak out in this photo are 1) the beautiful blue skies and beach setting (complemented by the sea and two trees) and 2) the couple, together enjoying the beauty set before them.


4. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
I liked the colours of the that presented itself to me that day, and the sheer simplicity of the couple sitting together.

This is my first post in the critique section :)
Thanks, in anticipation of your constructive feedback!
Click to expand...
Hello,

I think that the initial idea and take of the scene is a good one.

If I may make an comment.

As I agree with the cropped version posted by a member here is good, I would have liked it also the other way.

My meaning of this is that I would like to see more overhead leaves.

There are just little bits of leaves or branches and they are bits with no meaning.

With the cropped version by night86mare. a tighter crop off the top about 1/8th of an inch above the cloud peak maybe.


Hope this is suggestion is of use.
 

S

saltandlight

New Member
#9
Nov 21, 2005
142
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#9
nice :) i think the composition is brilliant. very pretty the way the trees naturally frame the couple. a portrait crop sort of dulls the whole thing.

but i do agree that if you had taken a few steps back to capture leaves at the top, the trunks wouldnt look so stick-y. :p thumbs up to you! :)
 

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