I arrived home to find my front door open, as I slowly walked in I saw what looked to be broken glass on the floor. The floorboard creaked as my shadow slithered in the rays of the rivermoon.
Or was it me stepping on an unused wind up toy that possibly was used to effect unlawful entry into my house? Suddenly an awful thought flashed through my mind, "Ahh! My photographic equipment. Someone or something may have broken in." I squat down to find pieces of fur lying around.
Following that, I saw a piece of paper with some scribbles on it at a corner of the room.
Could it be a ransom note I wondered ? No, I realised it was just a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Reaching nervously for my book on 10 great things to do with rubber", the most used item in my personal inventory, hey wait, I hear what seem like a camera shutter from the room upstairs where my studio was located for the time being. I started to slowly make my way towards the top of the stairs.
Intermittent strobes of light were emanating from the doorsill of the studio, and a cat suddenly tumbled down the stairs while I was climbing up.
As the cat passed, it metioned me not to go further. Hmmm ??
Right then, realizing I was still in fancy dress and looking shorter than my normal height, but dressed as an SAS soldier so i thought 'what the hell'. I kept on going, rebelling against that arrogant cat of mine, but looking back, i should have listened to him, for what lied ahead of me was not only hideous, but quite out of focus.
I took off my wifes reading glasses and frose, staring at one of the protruding
fangs from a giant bat-like creature standing in my room. "Oh my god! What is that?" I thought to myself. The last thing I saw was a frying pan, a big flash of red light, and everything went dark...
I woke up on the floor with my face soaked in a puddle of saliva and all I hear was an annoying macarena song in the background. I opened my eyes and saw the cat smiling down at me. "That bat creature was your wife without makeup, you lousy drunk!", the cat said. I wanted to kick the talking cat but I can feel a big throbbing lump above my left ear and my stomach chruning so instead I slowly crawled to the bathroom.
It seems the macarena is a pirated CD and it got stuck with that damn word over and over again as it encouraged me to puke my guts into the toilet bowl.
Suddenly there was silence and I then felt a shadow behind me...
This in itself (feeling a shadow) I put down to my own understanding of the Zone System.
The feeling grew stronger.
Wishing that I had some how entered the wrong house by mistake, I began to slowly realise that I had.
But what was my wife doing here without make up and what was that wierd
