Unrequitted


refraXion

New Member
Mar 24, 2008
71
0
0
Hougang
#1
1. in what area is critique to be sought?

Idea, composition/framing, post-processing.


2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?

To convey a sense of emptiness if it succeeds as a photo, but otherwise to do a simple touristy snapshot of one of the countless graffiti one can expect to see when touring around European countries.


3. under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)

Honestly speaking it wasn't a planned shot. I was walking around Amsterdam and came across this graffiti on the wall, and decided to take a shot of it. However, I did put some thoughts into the framing, and tried to make it better during post-processing.

4. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture

I think the bike and the arrow sign do not really contribute to the emotions that the message says, but I didn't have much of a choice as these were the only elements present in the scene. Further right of the message is the main road which will add too much clutter to the image.


Thank you for viewing! :)

 

Last edited:

lightbrush

New Member
Apr 24, 2007
273
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0
photoblog.com
#2
What I like about this picture is the "old world" feeling it conveys. The words about not being there is mirrored in the empty bicycle. So there is some element of linkage, howerver tenuous, between the graffiti and the bicycle. Neat :thumbsup:

I don't think the top part of the picture is relevant and does not add anything to the picture. Cut off the top portion and leave a little bit of the signboard and you will see what I mean. I like the squarish patterns of the floor tiles and the vertical lines of the "wall". Try to play with that for impact. You can photoshop to bring out the patterns a bit stronger.
As a further thought, try visiting this place (if you have a chance) when the light falls against the wall and you may see more interesting shadows and light.

Overall, I like the old-world feel of the picture and it would be great if you crop out the top part and emphasise the tile and wall patterns. Good shot :thumbsup:
 

Scoop

New Member
Oct 27, 2009
718
0
0
Singapore
#3
I like how the words in the picture mirror your title. However, when I look at the picture, I'm actually drawn much much more to the opening in the 'wall' than the words..

Good idea nonetheless, it's just the setting that is a little lacking.. :)
 

qwerty628

New Member
Jan 3, 2010
608
0
0
#4
I like the composition... Nice...

Nt sure if it conveys a sense of emptiness though...
 

refraXion

New Member
Mar 24, 2008
71
0
0
Hougang
#5
What I like about this picture is the "old world" feeling it conveys. The words about not being there is mirrored in the empty bicycle. So there is some element of linkage, howerver tenuous, between the graffiti and the bicycle. Neat :thumbsup:

I don't think the top part of the picture is relevant and does not add anything to the picture. Cut off the top portion and leave a little bit of the signboard and you will see what I mean. I like the squarish patterns of the floor tiles and the vertical lines of the "wall". Try to play with that for impact. You can photoshop to bring out the patterns a bit stronger.
As a further thought, try visiting this place (if you have a chance) when the light falls against the wall and you may see more interesting shadows and light.

Overall, I like the old-world feel of the picture and it would be great if you crop out the top part and emphasise the tile and wall patterns. Good shot :thumbsup:
Thank you for taking time to provide your comments!

Is this the crop that you are talking about? :dunno:


I like how the words in the picture mirror your title. However, when I look at the picture, I'm actually drawn much much more to the opening in the 'wall' than the words..

Good idea nonetheless, it's just the setting that is a little lacking.. :)


I like the composition... Nice...

Nt sure if it conveys a sense of emptiness though...
Thank you guys for viewing and commenting too! In future I will pay more attention to the setting! As it can be seen, this is actually some fenced up building under renovation and that hole is the entrance to the building.
 

Apr 24, 2007
273
0
0
photoblog.com
#6
Thank you for taking time to provide your comments!

Is this the crop that you are talking about? :dunno:



Yes :) Looking at the varying tones of the fencing, you can experiment with black and white to see how it goes. Have fun.
 

Sep 17, 2008
3,656
0
0
#7
add a pretty model sitting on the bicycle and waiting for someone. it will turn into a totally kickk s image.
 

Sep 17, 2008
3,656
0
0
#8
Thank you for taking time to provide your comments!

Is this the crop that you are talking about? :dunno:



Yes :) Looking at the varying tones of the fencing, you can experiment with black and white to see how it goes. Have fun.
dun think so. sign post in half is more distracting than whole sign post:sweat:
 

Dustin

Deregistered
Feb 3, 2010
76
0
0
30
#9
Hi bro! I love this picture! It is so LOMO! Where is it? I wanna try a shot on it too.

Anyway... if its me... i will just take a picture without the top of the pole. Signs are always ATTENTION ATTRACTORS!
 

refraXion

New Member
Mar 24, 2008
71
0
0
Hougang
#10
dun think so. sign post in half is more distracting than whole sign post:sweat:
Unfortunately, I have to agree. Besides, I think having the top black part sort of keeps the image in balance? Such that there are the tiles at the bottom and the black part at the top, so it's nicely sandwiched in between? :dunno: But thanks lightbrush bro for your advice!

Hi bro! I love this picture! It is so LOMO! Where is it? I wanna try a shot on it too.

Anyway... if its me... i will just take a picture without the top of the pole. Signs are always ATTENTION ATTRACTORS!
Haha I was trying to mimic the goat's Urban Acid style of post-processing leh. Don't know if it came out right or not. But lucky he's not here. HOHO! By the way it's in Amsterdam... I was just walking around aimlessly that time or probably on the way to visit some attraction... not some major street. I doubt I would be able to pinpoint the exact street to you even with the help of a map now... :sweat:
 

sinned79

Senior Member
Jun 18, 2009
10,868
3
0
Singapore
www.aboutlove.sg
#11
pardon me TS.

not good at explaining. so borrowed your photo to do some cropping.

(you may need to shift the bike aside so the wheels wun be there :p)

the graffiti words and that 'door' or something i think works better haha
 

pokiemon

Senior Member
Mar 5, 2005
2,039
0
0
#12
crop it panaroma without the blue sign...slightly above the door.
 

Apr 30, 2010
268
0
0
#13
Great composition, I like the first picture, and I would agree with allenleonhart that you should add a model to the bike, I think you should increase the sharpening of the entire picture by just a bit more, and increase the contrast of the fencing only, to show the lines more, as the lines on the right are not really clear. Also, I like how the bike conveys a sense of loneliness, as if somebody is here, just that he/she's not. Also, the black bars actually are important, because that seems like that scene is the only thing that matters in the POV of the person.
 

refraXion

New Member
Mar 24, 2008
71
0
0
Hougang
#14
pardon me TS.

not good at explaining. so borrowed your photo to do some cropping.

(you may need to shift the bike aside so the wheels wun be there :p)

the graffiti words and that 'door' or something i think works better haha
Thanks for taking time to do an actual demo! It really makes things clearer! I think your crop works too! But the bike was chained so I couldn't shift it. :(

crop it panaroma without the blue sign...slightly above the door.
Thanks for your suggestion! It looks good too, and provides a slightly different feel! :)

Great composition, I like the first picture, and I would agree with allenleonhart that you should add a model to the bike, I think you should increase the sharpening of the entire picture by just a bit more, and increase the contrast of the fencing only, to show the lines more, as the lines on the right are not really clear. Also, I like how the bike conveys a sense of loneliness, as if somebody is here, just that he/she's not. Also, the black bars actually are important, because that seems like that scene is the only thing that matters in the POV of the person.
Hahaha, this shot was more of a spontaneous thing. I didn't have any (willing) model with me at that point in time. But anyway, thank you for taking time to analyse the picture and especially for emphasising on the contrast of the fence, I agree with that!
 

Crashout

New Member
Dec 3, 2008
52
0
0
#15
What I like about this picture is the "old world" feeling it conveys. The words about not being there is mirrored in the empty bicycle. So there is some element of linkage, howerver tenuous, between the graffiti and the bicycle. Neat :thumbsup:

I don't think the top part of the picture is relevant and does not add anything to the picture. Cut off the top portion and leave a little bit of the signboard and you will see what I mean. I like the squarish patterns of the floor tiles and the vertical lines of the "wall". Try to play with that for impact. You can photoshop to bring out the patterns a bit stronger.
As a further thought, try visiting this place (if you have a chance) when the light falls against the wall and you may see more interesting shadows and light.

Overall, I like the old-world feel of the picture and it would be great if you crop out the top part and emphasise the tile and wall patterns. Good shot :thumbsup:
Don't you think the upwards arrow answers the question of 'where the hell are you' in the graffiti?

The bicycle says to the owner : "if my feelings are true, where the hell are you"
The answer: Up in heaven
 

night86mare

Deregistered
Aug 25, 2006
25,541
0
0
www.pbase.com
#16
cropping any part of the signage off results in a split frame, because the sign post is cutting the frame happily - hence it is a no no for me.

i thought taking a few steps back, or something wider (if that were possible) to give the bicycle more breathing space would be better. i like the idea here.

treatment wise, the tones work fine for me, but be careful about blowing out the whites
 

refraXion

New Member
Mar 24, 2008
71
0
0
Hougang
#17
Don't you think the upwards arrow answers the question of 'where the hell are you' in the graffiti?

The bicycle says to the owner : "if my feelings are true, where the hell are you"
The answer: Up in heaven
Hahaha, heaven is like the opposite of hell right? :bsmilie: But thanks for interpreting the picture! It's amazing how different people see different things in the same picture!

cropping any part of the signage off results in a split frame, because the sign post is cutting the frame happily - hence it is a no no for me.

i thought taking a few steps back, or something wider (if that were possible) to give the bicycle more breathing space would be better. i like the idea here.

treatment wise, the tones work fine for me, but be careful about blowing out the whites
Thanks bro! In the picture I posted, I had cropped away a bit of the floor from the original pic, but I suppose you meant breathing space at the left ba? Because like that cannot save le.. Anyway I lowered the opacity of the urban acid so that the contrast isn't so strong. Is this better?

 

Dec 8, 2009
917
0
0
32
Johor
#18
i like the 1st pic on top.

-bicycle is unattended, sense of loneliness, abandoned and desolate.

-the houses behind shows that its a common place, common ppl with common probs like money, love (which is echoed by the words)

good compo man, cant think of all the 1000 words but u inspire me! meaningful pic!
 

Sep 17, 2008
3,656
0
0
#19
can u tell us where u shot? got time i bring my bike leave there and shoot also
 

refraXion

New Member
Mar 24, 2008
71
0
0
Hougang
#20
i like the 1st pic on top.

-bicycle is unattended, sense of loneliness, abandoned and desolate.

-the houses behind shows that its a common place, common ppl with common probs like money, love (which is echoed by the words)

good compo man, cant think of all the 1000 words but u inspire me! meaningful pic!
Wow, never thought I would inspire someone. Usually I'm the one getting inspirations. Thanks bro, and hope you will shoot inspiring pics too :)


can u tell us where u shot? got time i bring my bike leave there and shoot also
Oh... it's in Amsterdam but I seriously can't remember where it is exactly because I was wandering around aimlessly and it was en route to some tourist attraction at some random street. :(
 

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