Maybe you had wanted to capture the contrasting facial expressions of the three persons, but then there are too many distractions, except for perhaps the smoking lad which have attracted the most comments as it is the most obvious and clear cut subject.
The balloon lady is cut severely by all the balloon strings and the angle or perspective does not bring these two subjects into any relationship. The gas cylinder dont help at all too. And then the smiling man.
Doing B&W is one way to cut these unavoidable distractions in street photography; and it is indeed very hard to pull off something you saw in your mind's eye. And the most effective way to do this I think is to see what others have done successfully, such as this guy on flickr, a fan of mine.
