Found this interesting article in Streats today.
Your views? Guys and gals?
November 12, 2004
No man is right for picky women
By Philip Lee
AT the opening of En Bar in Mohamed Sultan Road last year, I chatted with a group of men - all 30-somethings.
One of them, a short fellow with a strong voice, impressed me with his knowledge, from Greek mythology to etymology, his philosophy of life, his use of the English language and his humour.
I remember thinking, "This guy is very interesting," and proceeded to banter with him and his pals to whom I was but a stranger who had merely chanced by during an event where such serendipitous encounters happen.
I stayed with this group for a while because they were a lively, engaging bunch. All six of them were single.
Then I learnt that the short man, a senior executive in a commercial firm, had trouble getting dates.
"Who would date someone who is vertically challenged?" he said without emotion, as if he had long been resigned to his fate.
"Ah, but you stand tall in other areas," I ventured, sipping my third glass of shiraz.
"Really? But that won't help, anyway," he replied. "I am too "katik' (Malay for short) to attract women as a potential mate. They look at a short man and say to themselves: No, I don't want short children."
Then last week, while chatting with a group of women, this time all in their late 20s and single, at the Blue Bar Bistro in Central Mall, I asked what kind of man a woman desired most.
One of them, Jennifer, always talkative and always with an opinion, said: "He must make me laugh."
I said: "This is what you want most?"
"Yes," she said. "I don't need his money. But I need him to be a lively, interesting companion. I don't want to live my life with a bore."
Another woman said: "He must have a goal to aim for. I don't mind if he is not earning much now, but he must have a passion for something bigger. And of course, he must be well read and be funny."
Tsui Ping, an events manager, said: "He must care for me and like Jennifer said, he must have a sense of humour."
A sense of humour. How often have I heard young women say this and how often have they said that meeting such a man is like finding that proverbial needle.
I think the humourless Singapore male might have evolved from our rigid school system where the relentless paper chase leaves him no time for levity.
When these women talked about humour, they did not mean they wanted clowns or jokers.
A person with a sense of humour looks at life, including mistakes, philosophically. He is not uptight about his own shortcomings or those of others. He tends to be more forgiving and is much less judgmental.
And women tell me that best of all, such a man has that ability to make light of troublesome situations and does not throw a tantrum, shout or go to a corner and sulk.
Of course, he is also always exposing life's lighter side and this helps spread the sunshine.
I have quite a number of such men as friends when I lived in Canada. They were all Caucasians. Now I sometimes wonder if this better sense of humour among Caucasians is a reason why so many Singaporean women have "ang moh" boyfriends.
When the women were telling me about their ideal man, my brief meeting with that short clever fellow in En Bar flashed back. He would have fitted their requirements, I thought.
So I asked them: "Would you be interested in a man who has a sense of humour, is a professional, is well-read, is 30-something but is about five feet three inches tall?"
"What is five feet three inches?" they chorused.
"Okay, err... about 1.6 metres" I said.
They giggled and wrinkled their noses in unison.
Young men today, I thought to myself that night, face many kinds of obstacles in winning a woman's heart. It would appear women have become much more fastidious than their mothers when it comes to picking mates.
I remember my aunts used to say that all a woman wants is a man with a "good heart".
Today's demanding lasses are certainly not settling for merely good-heartedness. They seem to want perfection - an impossible dream.
If he is tall and strong, he has thinning hair. If he is lively, he is too flirtatious. If he is very successful, he is too full of himself. If he is intelligent, he is too opinionated. If he is the faithful type, he is too possessive and jealous. The exceptions go on.
I even know of a woman who will only date men with cars. Her reason: I don't want to go home late at night by myself and pay the midnight taxi surcharge.
But have her dates done this? Yes, she said. Most of those who don't drive put her in a cab and wave her goodbye.
Which brings me to another point: the lack of chivalry in young men today.
But this topic will have wait until next time.
Your views? Guys and gals?
November 12, 2004
No man is right for picky women
By Philip Lee
AT the opening of En Bar in Mohamed Sultan Road last year, I chatted with a group of men - all 30-somethings.
One of them, a short fellow with a strong voice, impressed me with his knowledge, from Greek mythology to etymology, his philosophy of life, his use of the English language and his humour.
I remember thinking, "This guy is very interesting," and proceeded to banter with him and his pals to whom I was but a stranger who had merely chanced by during an event where such serendipitous encounters happen.
I stayed with this group for a while because they were a lively, engaging bunch. All six of them were single.
Then I learnt that the short man, a senior executive in a commercial firm, had trouble getting dates.
"Who would date someone who is vertically challenged?" he said without emotion, as if he had long been resigned to his fate.
"Ah, but you stand tall in other areas," I ventured, sipping my third glass of shiraz.
"Really? But that won't help, anyway," he replied. "I am too "katik' (Malay for short) to attract women as a potential mate. They look at a short man and say to themselves: No, I don't want short children."
Then last week, while chatting with a group of women, this time all in their late 20s and single, at the Blue Bar Bistro in Central Mall, I asked what kind of man a woman desired most.
One of them, Jennifer, always talkative and always with an opinion, said: "He must make me laugh."
I said: "This is what you want most?"
"Yes," she said. "I don't need his money. But I need him to be a lively, interesting companion. I don't want to live my life with a bore."
Another woman said: "He must have a goal to aim for. I don't mind if he is not earning much now, but he must have a passion for something bigger. And of course, he must be well read and be funny."
Tsui Ping, an events manager, said: "He must care for me and like Jennifer said, he must have a sense of humour."
A sense of humour. How often have I heard young women say this and how often have they said that meeting such a man is like finding that proverbial needle.
I think the humourless Singapore male might have evolved from our rigid school system where the relentless paper chase leaves him no time for levity.
When these women talked about humour, they did not mean they wanted clowns or jokers.
A person with a sense of humour looks at life, including mistakes, philosophically. He is not uptight about his own shortcomings or those of others. He tends to be more forgiving and is much less judgmental.
And women tell me that best of all, such a man has that ability to make light of troublesome situations and does not throw a tantrum, shout or go to a corner and sulk.
Of course, he is also always exposing life's lighter side and this helps spread the sunshine.
I have quite a number of such men as friends when I lived in Canada. They were all Caucasians. Now I sometimes wonder if this better sense of humour among Caucasians is a reason why so many Singaporean women have "ang moh" boyfriends.
When the women were telling me about their ideal man, my brief meeting with that short clever fellow in En Bar flashed back. He would have fitted their requirements, I thought.
So I asked them: "Would you be interested in a man who has a sense of humour, is a professional, is well-read, is 30-something but is about five feet three inches tall?"
"What is five feet three inches?" they chorused.
"Okay, err... about 1.6 metres" I said.
They giggled and wrinkled their noses in unison.
Young men today, I thought to myself that night, face many kinds of obstacles in winning a woman's heart. It would appear women have become much more fastidious than their mothers when it comes to picking mates.
I remember my aunts used to say that all a woman wants is a man with a "good heart".
Today's demanding lasses are certainly not settling for merely good-heartedness. They seem to want perfection - an impossible dream.
If he is tall and strong, he has thinning hair. If he is lively, he is too flirtatious. If he is very successful, he is too full of himself. If he is intelligent, he is too opinionated. If he is the faithful type, he is too possessive and jealous. The exceptions go on.
I even know of a woman who will only date men with cars. Her reason: I don't want to go home late at night by myself and pay the midnight taxi surcharge.
But have her dates done this? Yes, she said. Most of those who don't drive put her in a cab and wave her goodbye.
Which brings me to another point: the lack of chivalry in young men today.
But this topic will have wait until next time.
