Scooter


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eedwinn

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May 20, 2009
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Hi guys, first time posting in the Critique Corner. Hope to learn more from you guys.

3924822133_1696c770c9.jpg


1. in what area is critique to be sought?

I would like to sought comments on the composition as well as the post processing.

2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?

I would like to show the immaculate condition of the bike as a contrast to the "oldness" of the surrounding.

3. under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)

I was actually walking around to look for the train tracks near my house. Had to pass through an old area probably for the immigrants to stay and thought that the bike might pose as a nice subject. However, weather was hot and there were people around so quickly took the shots and walk off (did not really think about the other angles).

4. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture

I think the composition is pretty simple and not outstanding, would like to know how to improve on the composition. I am also not sure if majority will find the post processing too overdone (HDR).
 

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Any comments?
 

Your HDR looks good to me.

But if I want to emphasize old-new contrast(which you stated as your intention for this picture), I would pick a plainer background. I think the couches/chairs, doors, windows, pipes are a bit distracting. But that is being critical, esp. coming from a no-credential newbie like me.
 

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Gr8 attempt. Personally, i see a very slight redish/purplish cast and some halo (probably due to the nature of HDR? or was the masking wasn't precise enough?) Like wat Lamergod mentioned, B/W might be a better choice. Muted colours might be great as well. Additionally, a shallower DOF might be better?
 

Just some feedback from me.

1. I think the HDR effect is a bit overdone for my preference.

2. The color of the scooter and the wall is too close. Hence the scooter is not able to "Stand out". Also as mentioned, the background is also rather "busy" and very quickly the eye is drawn away from the scooter.

3. Personally I would be mindful about cutting away the front wheel of the scooter in the picture. If that is the subject, then I will try to frame it such that nothing of the scooter is out of the frame as it ends the subject abrubtly.

Well, I hope the above pointers are constructive and will help in your next picture taking. ;)
 

Crop is too tight, there is nothing to hold the viewers eyes to. What would you want the viewer to see?
 

Crop is too tight, there is nothing to hold the viewers eyes to. What would you want the viewer to see?

Yah, I think I am looking at the 4D, then the scooter.

I think that is why there is Distortion. Look closely you can see the corridor is exactly curved.
 

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HI

felt that the crop is too tight. I'll like it if the entire scooter is captured along with more of the background.

If we want to contrast the immaculate condition of the scooter in contrast with the background, then you'll have to find another more appealing angle of the scooter. THere are some shots of vespa scooters in this forum.

good try nonetheless
 

the scooter looks unevenly burnt imo
 

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