Remembering the dead.

[rocfreaks]

​

Hi guys, its been awhile since i last uploaded a picture on the critique corner. So i have a picture here which i feel it lacks depth and want your inputs so i can retake the picture soon.

1. in what area is critique to be sought?

Purposely manipulate the picture in PS to give that vintage look, therefore a slight colour tweak was done. A slight dodge and burn was done on the black outlines to give that 'eerie feel'. A longer exposure (25secs) was done to show the blur movement of the clouds as shown.

Now the question is, does everything mesh up altogether nicely, which i feel it just lakes depth. Hmmm.

2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?

I was there doing some light painting *go google up for those who don't know* with a friend before an idea struck me.

With time, the war memorial monument stands there without people like me who passesby/sit/etc there knowing those who are being remembered.

Its like a passing time, a memory distant to us, which we don't even know, stands there, and i bet half of us doesn't know what actually happened to these men *sorry lah, just went through my 2nd ict last week and somehow i feel patriotic ahh.

3. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture

Give me and honest opinion on just what it lacks of. Which i think depth. But i can't figure out what.. gahhhhhh..!!


[The settings :
Canon 1000D with tamron 10-24mm wide angle
F7.1 iso200 Exposure time : 25 secs.]

Thanks!

 

[rocfreaks]

Anyone?

 

[astrorion]

Composition wise is ok for me for a diagonal cut.
One thing distract me is the big piece of "black" plate, Can't see a single words or memorable features.
Overall is nice with a brownise color. I dont find it "eerie".

 

[leowyien]

I like the sky... Its like in a horror movie or sth

 

[chocolateking123]

em i think maybe you could blur out or erase the trees @ the bottom right edge. seems like a distraction to me :l .. imo o.o idk bout the others

 

[rocfreaks]

hmm, thru my screen, the plate can be seen clearly.. but when i check on my iphone, its dark.. must be diffy screens.

will upload the b&w version.

 

[rocfreaks]

The black and white version.

Tell me whether if you can see the letterings on the plate..

 

[kei1309]

the black and white looks more eerie than the first

 

[Lekech]

If I am not a local or unfamiliar with SGP history, I would not be able to reconcile the pic to the title.

 

[alex784]

the dramatic cloud's quite impressive.

I like it

 

[jk1881]

it look like prison to me but nice la

 

[foxtwo]

You're not thinking this all the way through. Understand why you're shooting and what you're shooting. The feelings/emotions your photograph is giving is all over the map and none of it refers to "Its like a passing time, a memory distant to us, which we don't even know, stands there, and i bet half of us doesn't know what actually happened to these men *sorry lah, just went through my 2nd ict last week and somehow i feel patriotic ahh.". What you intended to say is not here at all. Go to the monument, put away your camera, sit there and look deep within yourself. Think about what you feel and want to say. Maybe you'll realise something about yourself or maybe you're not getting anything, who knows. Don't force it, people can tell from your photos.

If it helps you should visit Kranji Memorial Park, it's a lot more sentimental than this monument across the Padang.

Technically your composition tells little on what the monument represents. And using little techniques like long exposure or dodge & burn doesn't help the fundamental problem.

 

[rocfreaks]

You're not thinking this all the way through. Understand why you're shooting and what you're shooting. The feelings/emotions your photograph is giving is all over the map and none of it refers to "Its like a passing time, a memory distant to us, which we don't even know, stands there, and i bet half of us doesn't know what actually happened to these men *sorry lah, just went through my 2nd ict last week and somehow i feel patriotic ahh.". What you intended to say is not here at all. Go to the monument, put away your camera, sit there and look deep within yourself. Think about what you feel and want to say. Maybe you'll realise something about yourself or maybe you're not getting anything, who knows. Don't force it, people can tell from your photos.

If it helps you should visit Kranji Memorial Park, it's a lot more sentimental than this monument across the Padang.

Technically your composition tells little on what the monument represents. And using little techniques like long exposure or dodge & burn doesn't help the fundamental problem.

Thank you so much bro for the input..! I think i know what went wrong..! ) thank u so much..!