Playground


Alan2701

New Member
Dec 29, 2010
42
0
0
#1


1. In what area is critique to be sought?
As a new DSLR user, like to shoot something creative and meaningful. Want to learn more to produce better phototgraph.

2. What one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?
To show the loneliness of these 2 kids.

3. Under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
I was shooting my kids at the playground and saw this 2 little girls sitting aside. Their facial expression triggered me to take the shot.

4. What the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
No comment.

Thank you. :)
 

kwttan

New Member
Jan 8, 2010
845
0
0
Concrete jungle
#2
Playground is suppose to be a joyous place for children, but the children appeared so sad/moody?
I find the red pole very distracting. Composition has much room for improvement. Perhaps if you should move to the left to avoid the role pole.
Anyway, try again next time.
 

#4
...Playground is suppose to be a joyous place for children, but the children appeared so sad/moody?...
I agree with the point mentioned above. The kids are framed to close to the left edge, there isn't enough breathing space. The image seems a little soft in terms of sharpness. Exposure could be a tad more, it looks a little underexposed to me. Don't be discouraged, shoot more and improve :)
 

Last edited:

derrickder

Senior Member
May 18, 2010
691
4
18
25
Singapore
www.derrickchin.com
#5
+
Photo has some potential but flaws are stated below

-
The photo does not show how the girls are lonely given the tight composition.
Underexposed
Distracting foreground elements
Unnecessary details in photo (see that pony?)
Pole sticking out of girl's head
Not sharp
 

ed9119

Moderator
Staff member
Mar 11, 2002
11,016
39
48
56
Singapore
www.walkeast.com
#6
ha ha if the kids in the image are like that.... then its like that.... there is no wrong in that.... in fact it makes for good contemplation about why they're like that even when all decked out in play gear and clothes

the thing in the image that's bugging me is more on composition...... they seem placed a little too tightly to the left ...... if you're trying to squeeze in a critical element that cant make it into the frame on the right , I'd understand.... but the way you've executed it gives it a very unbalanced and cramped feel..... furthermore, the perspective looks like you're using a tele zoom of sorts .... no reason not to pull that zoom back wider a little to give the poor girl on the extreme left a little room to 'breathe'

best of luck !
 

nitewalk

Moderator
Staff member
May 31, 2010
4,614
35
48
Singapore
#7
Playground is suppose to be a joyous place for children, but the children appeared so sad/moody?
I find the red pole very distracting. Composition has much room for improvement. Perhaps if you should move to the left to avoid the role pole.
Anyway, try again next time.
ha ha if the kids in the image are like that.... then its like that.... there is no wrong in that.... in fact it makes for good contemplation about why they're like that even when all decked out in play gear and clothes

the thing in the image that's bugging me is more on composition...... they seem placed a little too tightly to the left ...... if you're trying to squeeze in a critical element that cant make it into the frame on the right , I'd understand.... but the way you've executed it gives it a very unbalanced and cramped feel..... furthermore, the perspective looks like you're using a tele zoom of sorts .... no reason not to pull that zoom back wider a little to give the poor girl on the extreme left a little room to 'breathe'

best of luck !

Actually, imho this could be a shot, about unhappy childhood. I don't know about the rest, but to me, I saw a story in there. The setting is happy, supposed to be, but the kids are sulking. Why?

Just that, perhaps TS might consider moving to the left, the red pole should not be there. Maybe moving much more to left, can place the kids with playground stuff to give it a context. Just my .02
 

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