Mens' rule


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Lensman

New Member
Feb 12, 2002
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Singapore & Hong Kong
#1
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
Sex,
Sport, or
Cars

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.


Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education
 

zcf

Senior Member
Apr 10, 2005
6,741
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0
270 degree of Singapore
#6
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
wonder can really practice like this or not :think:
probably be :hung:
 

Razor54

New Member
Jan 10, 2006
290
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0
West to East
#7
If things can work this way, then we'll lose the 'special qualities' that makes a woman. In fact, I'll not be spending my life with a woman but another MAN!!!:eek: Hahaha....
 

denniskee

Senior Member
Oct 26, 2003
5,468
2
0
bukit batok
Visit site
#11
Razor54 said:
If things can work this way, then we'll lose the 'special qualities' that makes a woman. In fact, I'll not be spending my life with a woman but another MAN!!!:eek: Hahaha....
agree.

woman can sometimes be pain in the. but i wont want to spend my life with a woman that follows these rules.

its like playing "master mind", would you still want to play it if you already know the answer?:bsmilie:
 

Jun 20, 2005
88
0
0
#14
Quote Lensman:

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

REPLY: Okies..... won't change that... but don't complain when another guy is staring at your gf's.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

REPLY: U need it up to pee... we need it down to pee... u need it down to ****.. and so do we... 3 times u need it down and only one time up. Majority wins.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

REPLY: Sure...saturday can be sports, that i don't disagree

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

REPLY: We never really said it was.... cos we don't have to carry our own shopping bags. We have guys to do so.

1. Crying is blackmail.

REPLY: Yup... confirm blackmail.... but hehe..u guys make it work so well.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

REPLY: Hmm...say it no fun la. We hint, u pretend not to get or maybe you don't get it at all .... we fume... quarrel and then cry..... "Crying is blackmail" and it works.... after that you say sorry.. massage our egos... and then we're all smiles again...

Hints do work too....

1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

REPLY: Agree... but... "up to u lo" also works.... just don't make the wrong choice.. =p

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

REPLY: gosh..you shld be happy that girls come to u for sympathy..cos they'll b leaning on ur shoulders.... perfect opportunities to make ur moves.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

REPLY: that i agree.....

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

REPLY: hehe...... we never let you forget don't we.... argue back and then "Crying is blackmail"

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

REPLY: Dun pose questions bout the size of your manhood ya..... it's a difficult question to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

REPLY: Will keep that in mind.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

REPLY: No arguements bout that.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

REPLY: Hmm..... i hope ur gf/wife doesn't watch dramas on dvds..cos they hav no commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

REPLY: No idea wat that refers to.... am a woman..can't read maps

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

REPLY: Mauve?? hehe... me no idea too.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

REPLY: It's not the scratching only. It's the scratching, and then the nose digging and then the hands end up on our laps on around us.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


REPLY: U are as bad as a woman..... SUPER LUO SUO...i see u hav succumbed to the One female trait... naggy.... .now i'm too tired to reply the rest....and i won't...


Tsk... Men....... they just don't get it....
 

Klose

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2005
2,619
0
0
#15
One more rule to add.

1. No eating in the car :nono:
 

drumma

Senior Member
Jan 5, 2005
6,299
0
36
30
Oulu, Finland, Finland
www.wongliji.com
#17
airyfairy01 said:
Quote Lensman:

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

REPLY: Okies..... won't change that... but don't complain when another guy is staring at your gf's.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

REPLY: U need it up to pee... we need it down to pee... u need it down to ****.. and so do we... 3 times u need it down and only one time up. Majority wins.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

REPLY: Sure...saturday can be sports, that i don't disagree

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

REPLY: We never really said it was.... cos we don't have to carry our own shopping bags. We have guys to do so.

1. Crying is blackmail.

REPLY: Yup... confirm blackmail.... but hehe..u guys make it work so well.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

REPLY: Hmm...say it no fun la. We hint, u pretend not to get or maybe you don't get it at all .... we fume... quarrel and then cry..... "Crying is blackmail" and it works.... after that you say sorry.. massage our egos... and then we're all smiles again...

Hints do work too....

1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

REPLY: Agree... but... "up to u lo" also works.... just don't make the wrong choice.. =p

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

REPLY: gosh..you shld be happy that girls come to u for sympathy..cos they'll b leaning on ur shoulders.... perfect opportunities to make ur moves.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

REPLY: that i agree.....

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

REPLY: hehe...... we never let you forget don't we.... argue back and then "Crying is blackmail"

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

REPLY: Dun pose questions bout the size of your manhood ya..... it's a difficult question to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

REPLY: Will keep that in mind.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

REPLY: No arguements bout that.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

REPLY: Hmm..... i hope ur gf/wife doesn't watch dramas on dvds..cos they hav no commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

REPLY: No idea wat that refers to.... am a woman..can't read maps

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

REPLY: Mauve?? hehe... me no idea too.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

REPLY: It's not the scratching only. It's the scratching, and then the nose digging and then the hands end up on our laps on around us.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


REPLY: U are as bad as a woman..... SUPER LUO SUO...i see u hav succumbed to the One female trait... naggy.... .now i'm too tired to reply the rest....and i won't...


Tsk... Men....... they just don't get it....
haha! u are :thumbsup:
 

sORe-EyEz

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2005
1,572
0
0
SGee
#18
those rules (i mean both sides) need some updating liao. it's way pass Y2K. w/ such rules no wonder opposite gender dun c EyE-EyE... :sweat:

it takes 2 to tango. :lovegrin:
 

sORe-EyEz

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2005
1,572
0
0
SGee
#19
y not 1 simple rule, sometimes let me hav it my way & i'll do likewise? ;p
 

Jun 20, 2005
88
0
0
#20
sORe-EyEz said:
y not 1 simple rule, sometimes let me hav it my way & i'll do likewise? ;p
That is one good simple rule...but there's a bit of a problem......


1) erm..... u wanna let me have my way firsT? then i let u have urs?


2) How come i give in 3 times but u only gave in once????? Can u play fair?? Can't count??



:devil:
 

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