Long Distance


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melvin

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Jun 4, 2005
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#1
Hi!

Would like to ask if any of u been Long Distance Relatioinship or oversea relationship?

How u guys maintain it?

Share some experience!

Thanks!
 

BBTM

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Nov 23, 2004
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#3
Not worth it if u know the other party over internet.

Worth it if u 2 know each other down here n the other party gone oversea for work/study. But hor, some time also hard if the duration is long.

Oversea relationship very hard to maintain. Even down here, u still must have time for each other else relationship can turn bad easily :(
 

synapseman

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#4
An inordinate amount of trust and self-discipline.

Also, the ability to be comfortable with the absence, while still maintaining feeling. If either party is the type that constantly needs the other to be physically present, then will have problem already. I guess I don't need to tell you that LDR is very tough and if extended for more than a period of 1 or 2 years, the chances of failure is very high.

And even if the couple survives the LDR, they may still split after they get reunited from overseras again.

Don't take this as a sign of doom, though. See it as an acid test. It is possible. I survived a 5 year inter-racial LD-relationship. :)
 

melvin

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#5
An inordinate amount of trust and self-discipline.

Also, the ability to be comfortable with the absence, while still maintaining feeling. If either party is the type that constantly needs the other to be physically present, then will have problem already. I guess I don't need to tell you that LDR is very tough and if extended for more than a period of 1 or 2 years, the chances of failure is very high.

And even if the couple survives the LDR, they may still split after they get reunited from overseras again.

Don't take this as a sign of doom, though. See it as an acid test. It is possible. I survived a 5 year inter-racial LD-relationship. :)
:bigeyes: How u do it?:thumbsup::bigeyes:
 

synapseman

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#6
Talk on phone mostly, once to thrice a week (last time IDD call very expensive). E-mail, ICQ.

Don't allow your mind to get too imaginative, otherwise you'll get too suspicious of everything your partner does, the people she hangs out with, etc.

Don't go and question her on everything she does, where you go last night? Who who? For what, etc? Possessiveness is not equals care and concern!

And both of you will still need to get on with life, have your own circles of friends, take up a hobby, etc. Don't take each other for granted, but don't let the fact that you miss each other get too much in your mind.

In otherwords, keep your mind healthy and positive. I know say is easy. Our r/s nearly broke down several times, but somehow we managed to see it through lah.
 

Canonised

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Aug 27, 2003
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#7
It's strange that people already have problems maintaining a relationship, and understanding each others even when they are living nearby .... and yet there are people who believe that they can have a potentially good Long Distance relationship .......:think:
 

melvin

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#8
Talk on phone mostly, once to thrice a week (last time IDD call very expensive). E-mail, ICQ.

Don't allow your mind to get too imaginative, otherwise you'll get too suspicious of everything your partner does, the people she hangs out with, etc.

Don't go and question her on everything she does, where you go last night? Who who? For what, etc? Possessiveness is not equals care and concern!

And both of you will still need to get on with life, have your own circles of friends, take up a hobby, etc. Don't take each other for granted, but don't let the fact that you miss each other get too much in your mind.

In otherwords, keep your mind healthy and positive. I know say is easy. Our r/s nearly broke down several times, but somehow we managed to see it through lah.

:thumbsup: u manage it so well ...must be tough for the both of u! Thanks for your tips will bear in mind! :bsmilie: Good to have taken up photography! :bsmilie:
 

melvin

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#9
It's strange that people already have problems maintaining a relationship, and understanding each others even when they are living nearby .... and yet there are people who believe that they can have a potentially good Long Distance relationship .......:think:
:bsmilie: Maybe thats what they call Fate..... 千 世 修 來 共 枕 眠....:think:...
 

synapseman

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#10
It's strange that people already have problems maintaining a relationship, and understanding each others even when they are living nearby .... and yet there are people who believe that they can have a potentially good Long Distance relationship .......:think:
Yes. There's always the hope, but generally, most LDRs will fail. It's a basic human need that people need to be physically close to each other.

:thumbsup: u manage it so well ...must be tough for the both of u! Thanks for your tips will bear in mind! :bsmilie: Good to have taken up photography! :bsmilie:
I also had somewhat of a strong foundation. We've been dating for about 4 years before I had to go overseas for studies. If not for that fact, I'm sure our R/S would've failed. I hope this isn't too much of a damper, but that's reality for you. (Also note the fact that in general, the number of years spent together is no guarantee for r/s success in the first place.)

Good luck.
 

Jul 24, 2005
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#11
Be open about it, at the same time do not pin too much hope on it... Look at me... Its been more than a year. We both date other people and we tell each other. We 1st met when I went all the way there in October... And then he's coming over next month. Initially I was trying hard to get a job there, did alot of research too. But now I found a great job, he's making the effort to come here. Hope it will work!

Long distance relationship is usually sweeter and no, or less fights. Esp for me, the time difference is a killer! Whenever we get to chat on msn, we treasure it. And we text each other or call each other on the phone once in a while...
 

melvin

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#12
Be open about it, at the same time do not pin too much hope on it... Look at me... Its been more than a year. We both date other people and we tell each other. We 1st met when I went all the way there in October... And then he's coming over next month. Initially I was trying hard to get a job there, did alot of research too. But now I found a great job, he's making the effort to come here. Hope it will work!

Long distance relationship is usually sweeter and no, or less fights. Esp for me, the time difference is a killer! Whenever we get to chat on msn, we treasure it. And we text each other or call each other on the phone once in a while...

As the sayings goes, Absence makes the heart fonder, Really? or is it in your case? so u still running the long distance? Hee... just kaypoh a bit... how long more huh?

When you both first date other people and tell each other err... how u feel?...its ok if u prefer not to talk about it!
 

Jul 24, 2005
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#13
As the sayings goes, Absence makes the heart fonder, Really? or is it in your case? so u still running the long distance? Hee... just kaypoh a bit... how long more huh?

When you both first date other people and tell each other err... how u feel?...its ok if u prefer not to talk about it!
Its been more than a year... Well, of cos feel jealous but still happy for each other to have found someone who is there. I guess its the mentality... I guess most locals cant accept that. Lol..
 

Canonised

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Aug 27, 2003
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#14
Its been more than a year... Well, of cos feel jealous but still happy for each other to have found someone who is there. I guess its the mentality... I guess most locals cant accept that. Lol..
LDR .......... between the 2 parties (the couple involved and the rest), there is always a feel of "who laugh lasts"....
it's usually the couple who believe they can survive and have a "forever happy" relationship, and the rest are mostly thinking "let us wait and see" ....:think:
to me, the couple must have a very strong will, belief, confidence, trust, needs, interests, faith and most importantly, maturity to engage in a LDR, more so than a local relationship.
Personally i give it a 5% success rate, and those successful, they are really blessed. :thumbsup:
Best wishes, ....
 

dennisc

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Oct 24, 2002
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#15
From personal experience, it's not that easy to work out. Most you can do is to bridge the relationship using webcams with audio chats. Doesn't help especially if the gal is crying over the end, missing you and you can't do anything about it. So you've to keep an open mind and i not pry too much or possesive of their lives.
For mine it was when I was in Cali and dated them (one Persian-American, one Dutch Chinese). Didn't work out, as time passes, knowing how hard it is to be together, we've moved on. But if the other party lives in Malaysia, etc I guess it would be easier.
So it depends, just try your best if you want it to work and keep your fingers crossed. But be prepared for a high failure %
 

melvin

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#16
Its been more than a year... Well, of cos feel jealous but still happy for each other to have found someone who is there. I guess its the mentality... I guess most locals cant accept that. Lol..
LOL ... wouldn't it be confusing? Or wouldn't u see someone as a replacement?:confused:
 

Jul 24, 2005
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#17
LOL ... wouldn't it be confusing? Or wouldn't u see someone as a replacement?:confused:
Lol.. Yea, quite confusing but well.. Modern thinking :)
Not really seeing someone else as replacement also... Only when the right one comes along..

Now I just counting down to the day he arrive in SG and pray he move here soon!
 

contaxable

New Member
Mar 5, 2006
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#18
Hi!

Would like to ask if any of u been Long Distance Relatioinship or oversea relationship?

How u guys maintain it?

Share some experience!

Thanks!
LDR is painful at times, but it is as sweet as any relationship. Some take it as a fairy tale; some, a test of time. Go with your heart and be with her geographically (no matter how) as soon as possible. Hanging in there for next 10 yrs online would only create a hard-shell over time and "situations do change" - like it or not.

Don't wait for fate to do the job; work towards the relationship to create the path for a meaningful end.

;)
 

melvin

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#19
Lol.. Yea, quite confusing but well.. Modern thinking :)
Not really seeing someone else as replacement also... Only when the right one comes along..

Now I just counting down to the day he arrive in SG and pray he move here soon!
Great! Hope u dun need to count down for too long!:cheers:
 

melvin

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#20
LDR is painful at times, but it is as sweet as any relationship. Some take it as a fairy tale; some, a test of time. Go with your heart and be with her geographically (no matter how) as soon as possible. Hanging in there for next 10 yrs online would only create a hard-shell over time and "situations do change" - like it or not.

Don't wait for fate to do the job; work towards the relationship to create the path for a meaningful end.

;)
:think: Speaking from experience?... thanks!:)
 

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