In Transit

[jaredng]

1. In which area is critique or feedback to be given?
Any comments welcomed.

2. What were you hoping to achieve with this image?
I had hoped to achieve a noir effect in this image. I was inspired by 'Follow', from the series of BMW Films.

3. Under what circumstance was the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
My friend (the girl in the photo) and I were touring China. We started in Shenzhen, making our way northwards, ending up in Ying Chuan. Photo was taken at Ying Chuan airport, on the 25th day of our trip. Awaiting our flight to Beijing.

4. Thread-starter's personal thoughts about the image.
If I had to choose one photo to represent my 30 days in China, this would be the one.

 

[nysheng]

wow..erm.. wat a pic to represent ur 30 days.. haha
i take it the lens flare was intentional? (didn't work for me, but i wun say the same for everyone)
this picture doesn't quite convey the idea of transit..it just shows a girl reading. there's no concept of transit/moving here. mayb showing a plane taking off in the bg might help?
i also feel that the metal structure is a little distracting..can't quite tell it's an airport.

 

[jaredng]

Hi nysheng
thank you for your comments. i've noted your views about the distraction of the building's structure in the background and i concur with you. its a little 'much'.
i think you've taken the title literally. 'transit' was in reference to an airport's transit lounge. it was not my intention to convey the idea of 'movement'. in fact, the direct opposite of 'quiet time' and enjoying a moment in your 'special quiet place' was my objective. and as i mentioned that i wanted to achieve a noir effect, there can be nothing fast-moving in noir. 'transit' was in reference to an airport's transit lounge. the three common past times for passengers in the airport lounge is to read, sleep or work on their laptops. i had hoped that viewers would be able to congregate it all together.
hard to tell its an airport? but the aircraft are there mah. there's one, of the nose in the right bottom corner.

 

[stunna88]

Hi, in my POV it's more like a passenger waiting for boarding
the lens flare on the girl is unflattering
For composition I'd like the girl fill 1/3 of the frame while keeping the airplanes in the background, expose on the girl, B&W then it's gud i think.
coz if not B&W u can see the glass has lots of smudges n the way u expose, there's not much colour to be shown
1/3 coz i think u want to show the vastness of the waiting room in the first place, correct me if i'm wrong.

 

[redmonsoon]

Hi,
1. I do like the lensflare but feel its too far away from the subject.
2. tab too much window space
3. do not really like the cropped book
4. always watch out for things sticking out of head, in this case, the tail-fin of the plane.

Just for your consideration,
I'll suggest move a step to your right, a low/floor angle, pointing upwards.
now if possible, show more of plane to right of gal.
it'll also shorten the gap between subject & interesting curved window beam design.
Then have the lens flare peep out from left side of gal.

 

[wkteoh]

Lens flare is quite distracting to me and detracts from the feeling of leisure. Making the lens flare more diagonal would achieve better effect. Maybe you could dedicate more space for your friend than the window space / overbright blob.

Plane is there but not apparent - could only see it after I looked hard at the picture.

 

[Rendell]

My interpretation of the image:

Composition:
1. Loneliness. (Empty seats around the girl's side)
2. Multiple focus point. The Sun Flare, The Girl, The Big Windows.

On Film Noir Effect:
1. There is not enough contrast on the light and shadow for this effect.

On "BMW - The Follow" Effect:
1. Choose a subject
2. Blur the background
3. Apply colour balancing towards the colour you want.

 

[piper85]

Agreed that the lens flare is distracting. Probably you could crop the top part of the photo away. And try shooting this with a different angle. Show more of the plane outside.
I'm not too sure about this but I feel that the bottom part of the photo is a bit underexposed and the top is a bit overexposed. Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[aspenx]

Too flat too.

 

[drmaul]

The foreground is too dark to see (dunno if that's ur intention).
A little too tight, maybe zooming out a bit?

 

[night86mare]

i am perfectly ok with the flare.

i am perfectly ok with the lack of contrast as a result of the flare. i even like the idea behind this picture, but the execution falls a bit short.

removing that leftmost part of structure will help, adding more space to the bottom right will help. all this could be easily solved by shifting your frame slightly right, exactly where you took this picture.

you can try this in bnw.

 

[shaoken]

I don't like the lens flare.
But for me, I think the lady is too underexposed.

I prefer it to be brighter an in B&W.