If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...


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mazatello

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Nov 28, 2006
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#1
... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.
 

mattlock

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Feb 28, 2004
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#2
woah I didn't know smoking and drinking = bad...
I thought a bad person is someone who steals cheats and murders
 

Del_CtrlnoAlt

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Feb 15, 2003
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#4
... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.
din know here got so many aunties in agony... :bsmilie:

lets say now u make yourself a benchmark and say he is completely opposite...

but problem is she breaks up with you, probably she wanted something not you... something opposite, like now, something for you to start working on...

probably you should use him as a benchmark to work on yourself, otherwise, just find someone that suits you or matches you.

She probably like those bad boys... u just ain't bad enuff...
 

kitkat

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Mar 5, 2005
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#5
... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.


you could probably advise on your own "percieve view" of that person, again who are we to judge if the person is good or bad? What we think as "good" , can be "bad" to some others.

Since it is a fren , what she do , is deem for her consequences only, not us. We may advise, ultimately the decision is hers solely.


You may not like that values (of the guy), but she may appreciate those values instead.
 

Hobbesyeo

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Feb 16, 2005
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#6
... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.

Smoke, Drink => The girl will know this sooner or later - so not really a big deal.

Womanises, breaks girls hearts => Hard to say. To me, womanising includes visiting "pros", so I would think the girl needs to know this as there is a high risk of STDs.

Depending on how and why you broke up, you may not be the best person to inform the girl because of your r/ship with her. She may perceive it as you trying to mess things up between him.
 

mazatello

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Nov 28, 2006
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#7
Actually that's what puzzles me because it seems the values that now attract her (smoking, drinking, womanising) are what we don't think we would like in the other half. Esp the philandering part.

Looks like I ought to pick up smoking apart from my drinking :bsmilie:

No big deal actually, I have got over her already but just concerned from a friend's perspective... at the end of the day, I don't wish to see her harmed in any way.
 

Canonised

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Aug 27, 2003
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#9
... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.
It's not so much whether you should or shouldn't advise her .......... it's more whether she is willing to listen to you, or a matter of fact, to anyone? :think:
 

#10
... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.
Does this "bad guy" also take photos of car show girls at low angle, flame people in photo forums, block people in event photography, always say people's photos not nice, in last minute cancel people's wedding assignment and pass comments that newbie's gear is not up to pro standard?

:bsmilie:
 

#11
... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.
If she breaks up with you maybe this "bad guy" is "better" than you? :bsmilie:
 

Dream Merchant

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Jan 11, 2007
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#13
Unless the two of you are still good friends, chances are, she won't listen to you. Get a mutual friend or one of her friends to tell her, if she doesn't already know, but that seems highly unlikely if she is now attracted to 'bad boys'. Is/was she particularly over-protected growing up, or less experienced with the ways of the world, generally?

One other thing, speaking from personal experience, is, even though you don't want to see her hurt, which is very honourable, the fact is, you're no longer her bf aka 'protector'.

Aside, people have been known to swing in the entirely opposite directions when it comes to preferences after a break-up or long time relationship, or a change in life/lifestyle.

It's not so much what the person does that I would be concerned about, but possibly deeper-seated reasons for the swing. Is it just transitionary, or does it hint at darker reasons that were not apparent before? Aiyah ... my mind just working overtime lah ...
 

dominator

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Mar 7, 2005
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#16
If she dumped me for that guy of cos it will bother me.
Girls simply loves bad guys! :thumbsup:
 

Nov 14, 2007
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#19
... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.
Seriously, you should be the ONE making the call. If you feel strongly that there is a dire need to "advise" her, go ahead. At the end of the day, it really does not matter whether your well intention is appreciated or not as long as your conscience is clear. :)

Have a victorious New Year ahead, and happy shooting.
 

garou12

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May 15, 2007
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#20
wah this place become hwz is it?
 

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