I don't love you

[elcvhion]

I was supposed to take a photo with respect to song lyrics that i like. i chose My chemical romance's "I don't love you", it goes like this:

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

i dont know if everyone knows this song, i doubt, but i am looking for crtiique regarding executing this shot. this is the first time i took this type of shots. i rolled up a cardboard to focus the light from my table lamp and took this shot. budget then PS the B/W whilst leaving the heart which i had used a slightly purple red marker to draw. the heart was to be warmer but i couldnt get it on PS. on the other hand, i didnt want it to look fake. the shadows top left looks a little funny.

i dont know, what do u all think? Thanks for looking!

P/S: the figurine at the side is from my gf who said that that is her (hands on hips) when i am not studying. is the write-up sufficient, first time.

 

[FrogLAH]

I know the song. Great song. Clever way of illustrating the lyrics. But its missing the emotional content/meaning of the song. Perhaps if the little figurine was broken into 2, the pic would have more angst in it. At the moment, the figurine is too happy looking. :bsmilie: Just my 2 cents.

 

[cheguthamrin]

I would have just focused in on the diary, the note, the heart and the tip of the pen.
Not everything else.

 

[elcvhion]

I know the song. Great song. Clever way of illustrating the lyrics. But its missing the emotional content/meaning of the song. Perhaps if the little figurine was broken into 2, the pic would have more angst in it. At the moment, the figurine is too happy looking. :bsmilie: Just my 2 cents.

haha, my gf will kill me if i broke the figurine into 2. yes, the emotion, i didnt tot about it. noted. thanks FrogLAH. next time i will think to put emotions into my shots.

I would have just focused in on the diary, the note, the heart and the tip of the pen.
Not everything else.

yup yup. i had wanted to focus in the heart part but i think my manual focusing sux, i turned off the AF becos i couldnt get the AF to focus on that part i wanted. will improve on my AF

thank you for leaving ur critique, hope for more.

 

[solar]

i think what he meant was to leave out the figurine

 

[dennisc]

The pic gave me a pinch on the heart. I like.

 

[night86mare]

the trouble here is that the figurine seems to be out of line, out of place.

also, i find that the message is not very clear - sometimes less is more and being more obvious will .. well, bring your message across more obviously.

in any case, it is an appropriate treatment here. cheers.

 

[Yapster]

One of my Fav Song~ My Chemical Romance Rocks~ Love "Disenchanted" and "Famous Last Words" as well.

Hmm, song aside, i feel the use of the calendar in the organizer is a pretty good idea which suits the title.

However, would prefer a more close up shot of the organizer and the pen.

The figurine, i feel, it is not really needed as the focus should be on the Red Love Shape and the "Today, I X".

 

[elcvhion]

wow! clubsnap is great! so many responses...

The pic gave me a pinch on the heart. I like.

thanks dennisc!

the trouble here is that the figurine seems to be out of line, out of place.
also, i find that the message is not very clear - sometimes less is more and being more obvious will .. well, bring your message across more obviously.
in any case, it is an appropriate treatment here. cheers.

thanks night86mare, i have read many posts from you, i must say, always insightful. anyway, the figurine is to represent my gf and one of its leg is broken thats why it isnt stright. haha... but then again, has it to be straight? haha...
i will be more direct in putting my message across the next time. but i have to ask if i had managed to put my msg across to u. if so, then i have achieved wat i wanted. may i ask what treatment u meant by appropriate.
thanks again night86mare.

One of my Fav Song~ My Chemical Romance Rocks~ Love "Disenchanted" and "Famous Last Words" as well.
Hmm, song aside, i feel the use of the calendar in the organizer is a pretty good idea which suits the title.
However, would prefer a more close up shot of the organizer and the pen.
The figurine, i feel, it is not really needed as the focus should be on the Red Love Shape and the "Today, I X".

of course, Chemical Romance rocks, this album has been in my phone, still occasionally playing now, since it was launched 2 years again. right, right... i also felt that my organiser and writings should have occupied more of the frame. do u think the figurine is necessary if it was to represent my gf?
"cancer" and "teenager" of this album is also interesting, i have been thinking of it shot for both also but not motivated enough to get to doing it. ;p

 

[Yapster]

of course, Chemical Romance rocks, this album has been in my phone, still occasionally playing now, since it was launched 2 years again. right, right... i also felt that my organiser and writings should have occupied more of the frame. do u think the figurine is necessary if it was to represent my gf?
"cancer" and "teenager" of this album is also interesting, i have been thinking of it shot for both also but not motivated enough to get to doing it. ;p

Yup, waiting for their next album.

Hmm, i feel the figurine a bit too cute to represent the heartbreak. Unless it is some ornaments that can be split into 2 (if there is any).

Hmm, you can attempt making a photo slideshow using the song as the background music. I guess "teenager" will be a easier one.

 

[stormweaver]

I would have just focused in on the diary, the note, the heart and the tip of the pen.
Not everything else.

I agree, maybe a little tighter shot will make the impact more obvious. The space gives me the room to roam my eyes all over. The impact might just loose its effect at that very moment. Just my tots

Good angle and composition. Keep it going dude

 

[HTCahHTC]

cool way of expressing!
but the figurine doesn't seem to fit in leh.
or you trying to have another meaning behind this whole story?
'i dont love you anymore. *and you smiled*."
LOL. kidding!
but i like this picture!

 

[elcvhion]

Yup, waiting for their next album.
Hmm, i feel the figurine a bit too cute to represent the heartbreak. Unless it is some ornaments that can be split into 2 (if there is any).
Hmm, you can attempt making a photo slideshow using the song as the background music. I guess "teenager" will be a easier one.

wah, sounds like a big project. i think i will pass. no motivation. i am too lazy. :embrass:
thanks for sharing. appreciate it.

I agree, maybe a little tighter shot will make the impact more obvious. The space gives me the room to roam my eyes all over. The impact might just loose its effect at that very moment. Just my tots
Good angle and composition. Keep it going dude

thanks stormweaver! i also feel that the top left of frame a bit empty. noted! thanks!

cool way of expressing!
but the figurine doesn't seem to fit in leh.
or you trying to have another meaning behind this whole story?
'i dont love you anymore. *and you smiled*."
LOL. kidding!
but i like this picture!

hahaha... the figurine... i personally felt that the figurine had to be there. anyway... the smile has sort of a cynical feel to the whole lyrics and shot. depends on how u interprete it. hahahaha...
thanks for looking!

now, thinking of next week's shot... hhmmmm....

 

[gpjuson]

Song's great but I'm having a bit of difficulty linking it to the pic. I would prefer to see some drama on the pic but the cute figurine seems, well, out of place and distracting.

If your focal point was the diary and pen it'd help to show more of the diary, in particular, and bring 'em closer with some left handed scribbles (if you're right handed) of how your beloved messed up your day. Open wide the aperture, bring the figurine a bit farther to make some good bokeh.

If the figurine was the focal point, I'd turn things the other way around.

 

[denniskee]

may i ask how does the funny looking, smiling figurine contribute to "I dont love you" mood?

 

[elcvhion]

Song's great but I'm having a bit of difficulty linking it to the pic. I would prefer to see some drama on the pic but the cute figurine seems, well, out of place and distracting.
If your focal point was the diary and pen it'd help to show more of the diary, in particular, and bring 'em closer with some left handed scribbles (if you're right handed) of how your beloved messed up your day. Open wide the aperture, bring the figurine a bit farther to make some good bokeh.
If the figurine was the focal point, I'd turn things the other way around.

may i ask how does the funny looking, smiling figurine contribute to "I dont love you" mood?

hmmm... so much said abt the figurine... hahaha... it is supposed to signify my gf but i guess maybe only she will understand wat i am talking abt. anyway, probably didnt managed to put my msg across. my bad.
really appreciate all ur comments! thanks to all...
i will work on it.

 

[doOio]

Thank you for the picture Seems like you are quite productive when I am away yah?

Yup, think u can make the pic better. but I like the picture as it is of now will prefer a happier song next time though? heehee. (and i will try to listen to your chemical romance this time

See you soon! ;p

 

[meanyman]

Hiya I like the overall tone of the shot but the figuirene for me too is a little too happy lol

 

[night86mare]

thanks night86mare, i have read many posts from you, i must say, always insightful. anyway, the figurine is to represent my gf and one of its leg is broken thats why it isnt stright. haha... but then again, has it to be straight? haha...
i will be more direct in putting my message across the next time. but i have to ask if i had managed to put my msg across to u. if so, then i have achieved wat i wanted. may i ask what treatment u meant by appropriate.
thanks again night86mare.

i'm sorry, but i do not get how the figurine represents your gf.. to be blunt maybe you are attaching too much personal meaning here, which is fine when you look at it yourself, but note that others may not understand what you are trying to say here.

what i meant is that the figurine doesn't seem to be in sync with what you intend to convey, i.e. no love, lack of love, lost love. firstly, it is a happy figurine.. and of course one can be happy with losing love when it is not an appropriate relationship in the first place.. but somehow i do not think this is what you mean here. nothing wrong with figurine having broken leg or not, i did not notice it.

for appropriate treatment, the vignetting and selective coloration here brings focus to what is important. but the unnecessary elements spoil the broth rather than strengthen it.