How do we forgive when we’re angry and hurt?


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#1
Like in a boy girl love affair,
friend or colleague cheating or lying to you,
people who borrowed money from you but
keep delaying in returning it even after three
or four years and so on.

Is it very difficult for a human being to forgive
another human being? If not what should could
be done, take revenge? :think:
 

tehzeh

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Aug 7, 2009
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#2
It depends, really. And it is impossible for the people replying to this thread to know how you felt or feel how you felt.

If it is very difficult to forgive, then let time cool you down. Another way is not to forgive, since it is pretty difficult to forgive. Then put everything behind and move on.

EDIT: or you can try crying your heart out. listen to some emo music. use a night to cry everything out and everything will be fine. ;)
 

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StrifeYun

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#3
Time can heal but not forget.
Let go and keep you mind occupied :)
revenge is never part of a solution.
to me it is easy to figive but not forget.
 

Crappinni

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#4
I find it imperative to take a step back and consider everything carefully when one's angry, since the rash decisions people tend to make when in they're in that state might very well be some they'll regret for life.

Moreover, forgiving never seemed to be an easy task. But s*** happens and people must learn to take them in our stride.
 

night86mare

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#5
rationalise

i don't think a deep wound can heal, or a deep grudge can be forgiven.

what is most important is that you move on fast, and never look back.
 

limwhow

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Jun 9, 2009
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#6
Often times money lent is money lost.
Friendship that is severed because of money - is as good as gone.
Hard to forget but have little choice but to do so.
 

eyes

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#7
Everytime I dish out any kind of personal loans, I would class them as bad debts immediately so that writing it off would be easier later. I guess with this mentality, bad loans is easier to forgive. Then again, it's hard to get a loan approved from me. :)
 

#8
How do we forgive when we’re angry and hurt?
If we bottle up the anger and hurt within ourselves, we'll probably suffer more and longer.

By forgiving we'll be a happier person.

Better to remember the good that people have done to us than the bad.

But all this requires conscious effort and a strength of character.
 

forward

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#9
If we bottle up the anger and hurt within ourselves, we'll probably suffer more and longer.

By forgiving we'll be a happier person.

Better to remember the good that people have done to us than the bad.

But all this requires conscious effort and a strength of character.


Well said, remember what would be the case when
America takes on for the Sept 11 happening?

However there are the masses which need to be
educated on the strength of forgiveness. Can you
imagine going down with axe, hammer etc to attack
the man who drew some cartoons out of his creativeness
in an area we call freedom of expression on the drawing
board? :(
 

iMac08

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#10
Well said, remember what would be the case when
America takes on for the Sept 11 happening?

However there are the masses which need to be
educated on the strength of forgiveness. Can you
imagine going down with axe, hammer etc to attack
the man who drew some cartoons out of his creativeness
in an area we call freedom of expression on the drawing
board? :(
do u have anything better to do then to dig out 911 as an example for your thread? u need a shrink.

for a start i thought is some personal matters that got u feeling bad. if is with regards to such political events.....i don't know man..there are too many things we have to be angry off all over the world...
 

aryanto

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Feb 16, 2005
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#11
fool me once shame on you.
fool me twice shame on me.

forgive yes, forget not.
remind them the concept of reputation.
 

mdzmr

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#12
Its easy to forgive but not to forget.
"Once beaten, twice shy."
 

spheredome

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#14
Q) Is it very difficult for a human being to forgive another human being?
No. It is very easy to forgive another person but extremely hard to forgive yourself for being shortchanged, stupid and embarrassed. Thus we shift the responsibily to blame and anger to justify the stupidity. In reality true, the fault lies with the other party but the feeling is self.

Q) If not what should could be done, take revenge?
The difference between a beast and human is emotion takes control over logic. Remember the worst kind of emotion is guilt not anger. Example, when a spouse get killed by a drunk driver, anger is the initial emotion but longterm ended with guilt because a good partner is lost.

Q) Like in a boy girl love affair.
You are not angry with the partner but felt embarassed and shortchanged. Emotion in many a times a hinder. Often people are very worried on how to answer to people around them than themselves. This is what I call a hypocritical civilization. Same goes for not being able to graduate from uni etc.

Q) friend or colleague cheating or lying to you,
That is why all office workers are colleagues and not friend. The best friend is never an ideal colleague and your colleague happens to be the best person to work with. Why? bec there is always a strings attached in colleagues.

Q) People who borrowed money from you but keep delaying in returning it even after three or four years and so on.
The moment you lend, its considered gone. People who felt angered are often those who spends lot of money buying stuff and later cried over when the bills come.


Like in a boy girl love affair,
friend or colleague cheating or lying to you,
people who borrowed money from you but
keep delaying in returning it even after three
or four years and so on.

Is it very difficult for a human being to forgive
another human being? If not what should could
be done, take revenge? :think:
 

Last edited:

agentxq49

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Jun 1, 2009
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#15
Forgive but never forget. If you forget, how will you learn your lesson?
i agree.

i take matters not as serious as they are. I find that im always the one stepping back. the MOST MOST important thing is to GET BACK OUR COOL! Why? when you're angry, you are irrational, and when you're irrational, you make decisions you'll come to regret.

Fear is the path to the dark side. fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering...... :bheart: mourn them do not, miss them do not. attachment leads to jealousy, the shadow of greed that is. Learn to let go of everything you fear to lose.

ok time to stop digressing into yoda. :bsmilie:
 

mabmy

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Jan 19, 2009
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#16
I can forgive but impossible to forget. Few years ago, a month before my wedding, my ex fiancee decide to call it off citing the reason that she has fallen for another man and asked for forgiveness. I took it like a man and let her go and they got married shortly after that.. It hurts so much, my heart and my wallet. Now i'm happily married to a better woman in my life. But the incident still hurts me when i think about it. So i guess forgiving is easy but totally forgetting it is impossible. It happens also that a "friend" borrowed 8k from me. Paid only 2k and gone with the wind. My wife told me to just give it to him for charity. *sigh*
 

aryanto

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#17
Now i'm happily married to a better woman in my life. But the incident still hurts me when i think about it. So i guess forgiving is easy but totally forgetting it is impossible. It happens also that a "friend" borrowed 8k from me. Paid only 2k and gone with the wind. My wife told me to just give it to him for charity. *sigh*
well imagine if you marry her and she wanted divorce taking 50% off your wealth and marry the other man later.
it is good that she left you before you get tangled in legally cos men always pay 50% no matter what.
 

Old Boy

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Dec 16, 2007
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#18
Like in a boy girl love affair,
friend or colleague cheating or lying to you,
people who borrowed money from you but
keep delaying in returning it even after three
or four years and so on.

Is it very difficult for a human being to forgive
another human being? If not what should could
be done, take revenge? :think:
I always ask myself this question, am I perfect ? If not just forgive. Keeping record of wrongs is actually unforgiving, it only hurts yourself more than anybody. If I think it detrimental to have any sort of continuing relationship, then better avoid that person. This is to prevent further hurt. You can protect yourself, just be wise. I will try to help my friend who is in need but once I discover that I can no longer trust him/her, I will stop and tell the person it's beyond my capacity and capability.
 

kkvolution

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Oct 12, 2009
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#19
Answering your question from my view. Mostly a person is angry and hurt, it hard to think logically at the same time to forgive.

There are just cases that cannot be forgiven cos the emotional hurt is too deep to heal over time.
 

allenleonhart

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Sep 17, 2008
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#20
well. once i meet ppl like tat i just avoid. i dun forgive. i mean face it. u got hurt, u got stabbed. its alright to not forgive. but we shld tolerate. tats all i guess.

eg: u meet ur er. sworn lifetime enemy. dun revenge, cause it never ends. just endure his presence, and survive. at least u can still face ur conscience. though its like no money gain one =.=
 

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