got joke to share?


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kcuf2

Senior Member
Dec 29, 2005
1,783
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KFC
Long Long time ago, in the Tiger Kingdom lived a pair of siblings. Both
were blessed with some gifts.
Brother had a pair of eyes who could see a distance far far away
Sister had a pair of ears who could listen to anything

They grew up together and experienced happiness and sadness together.
They like to run to the hills to play. Brother would look at far away
countries and tell the sister the majestic view that he see. Sister
would listen to the beautiful sounds and describe for the brother.

As time goes by, brother and sister started to fall in love with each
other. They knew that it was wrong, but they could not control
themselves. They continued to love each other.

Alas, their parents found out about it. Father was very mad, mother was
very sad. The neighbours would point fingers at them and gossip about
them. Brother and sister were adamant about their love for each other.

To prove that they were truly in love with each other, Brother
destroyed his eyes and Sister destroyed her ears. They felt that since
they could not get the blessings, they did not want the gifts…

Long long after, a musician heard this beautiful love story and was
touched by it. He decided to compose a song for the lovers.

I came across this song and it touched my heart too. However, I did not
buy his CD, so I cannot share with you the lovely song.

I remembered the lyrics though, and will share with you how touching
this song is… enjoy..




(Chinese hanyu pinyin)

Liang zhi lao hu, Liang zhi lao hu
Pao de kuai, pao de kaui
Yi zhi mei you yan jing, yi zhi mei you er duo
Zhen qi guai, zhen qi guai….
 

Adam Goi

ClubSNAP Idol
Staff member
kcuf2 said:
Long Long time ago, in the Tiger Kingdom lived a pair of siblings. Both
were blessed with some gifts.
Brother had a pair of eyes who could see a distance far far away
Sister had a pair of ears who could listen to anything

They grew up together and experienced happiness and sadness together.
They like to run to the hills to play. Brother would look at far away
countries and tell the sister the majestic view that he see. Sister
would listen to the beautiful sounds and describe for the brother.

As time goes by, brother and sister started to fall in love with each
other. They knew that it was wrong, but they could not control
themselves. They continued to love each other.

Alas, their parents found out about it. Father was very mad, mother was
very sad. The neighbours would point fingers at them and gossip about
them. Brother and sister were adamant about their love for each other.

To prove that they were truly in love with each other, Brother
destroyed his eyes and Sister destroyed her ears. They felt that since
they could not get the blessings, they did not want the gifts…

Long long after, a musician heard this beautiful love story and was
touched by it. He decided to compose a song for the lovers.

I came across this song and it touched my heart too. However, I did not
buy his CD, so I cannot share with you the lovely song.

I remembered the lyrics though, and will share with you how touching
this song is… enjoy..




(Chinese hanyu pinyin)

Liang zhi lao hu, Liang zhi lao hu
Pao de kuai, pao de kaui
Yi zhi mei you yan jing, yi zhi mei you er duo
Zhen qi guai, zhen qi guai….
:bsmilie:
 

Xing

Senior Member
Nov 4, 2004
1,048
0
36
Lower Seletar Reservoir
For a boring Wed morning, just got it from some frens.... no mood to do anything.... think it's the festive season ;p
------------------------------------------------

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him. "
--------------------------------------------------

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused & said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
---------------------------------------------------

A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five & six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father & thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers & sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
------------------------------------------

One day a little girl was sitting & watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother & inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong & make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while & then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
-------------------------------------------

The children had all been photographed, & the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up & say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor." A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
---------------------------------------------

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, & I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
-------------------------------------------

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, & posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples".
 

zhang3feng

New Member
Dec 27, 2005
1,321
0
0
SG
www.zhang3feng.com
kcuf2 said:
Long Long time ago, in the Tiger Kingdom lived a pair of siblings. Both
were blessed with some gifts.
Brother had a pair of eyes who could see a distance far far away
Sister had a pair of ears who could listen to anything

They grew up together and experienced happiness and sadness together.
They like to run to the hills to play. Brother would look at far away
countries and tell the sister the majestic view that he see. Sister
would listen to the beautiful sounds and describe for the brother.

As time goes by, brother and sister started to fall in love with each
other. They knew that it was wrong, but they could not control
themselves. They continued to love each other.

Alas, their parents found out about it. Father was very mad, mother was
very sad. The neighbours would point fingers at them and gossip about
them. Brother and sister were adamant about their love for each other.

To prove that they were truly in love with each other, Brother
destroyed his eyes and Sister destroyed her ears. They felt that since
they could not get the blessings, they did not want the gifts…

Long long after, a musician heard this beautiful love story and was
touched by it. He decided to compose a song for the lovers.

I came across this song and it touched my heart too. However, I did not
buy his CD, so I cannot share with you the lovely song.

I remembered the lyrics though, and will share with you how touching
this song is… enjoy..




(Chinese hanyu pinyin)

Liang zhi lao hu, Liang zhi lao hu
Pao de kuai, pao de kaui
Yi zhi mei you yan jing, yi zhi mei you er duo
Zhen qi guai, zhen qi guai….
:thumbsup: :bsmilie:
 

precious.jas

New Member
Jul 24, 2005
826
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0
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Just got this email this afternoon ;)

Question: Why is the '69' position also called the 'smokers position?'
Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray.

Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive rather than blood donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!

Man 1 : "My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird and say '1st gear, 2nd gear...'" Man 2 : "My wife is worse! She puts my bird inside her and say 'Full tank please'."

Question : What is the closest thing that is similar to a woman's period?
Answer : Your salary; it comes once a month, lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble!

Question : What is the smallest hotel in the world?
Answer : It's Vagina Inn because it can only accommodate 1 standing occupant who must leave his 2 baggages outside!

Two prostitutes were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Bitch 1 : I smell sperm!
Bitch 2 : Sorry, I burped!

A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got off the hospital bed, slapped her husband and shouted, "I told you not to do it doggy style!"

A man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra. The Chemist said that it would be useless. The man said, "I am 70, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing on my shoes."

Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" had never seen a pussy before.

Why is breast milk good for health?
Because it is great for blood circulation, provides heat, is refreshing and comes in attractive containers.

Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?" God said, "Okay, I will turn you into a sanitary pad.

Why was the two-piece bikini invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
 

precious.jas

New Member
Jul 24, 2005
826
0
0
37
Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting andwanted to go out and party. He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go toa club & pick up some young girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had tolook after him.A little disappointed, Superman "SMS" Spiderman to see ifhe fancied a few beers but Spiderman said he had a date with Catwoman. As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to seeif she was free.

As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed with her legs open and her eyes closed. Superman thought tohimself, "So exotic, should I or shouldn't I ....wait ...I'm faster thana speeding bullet! I can be in there, have sex & out again before sheknew what happened." So Superman did his super thing in a split secondand flies off happily. Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said, "What is going on? Did you hear anything..........????" Invisible-Man replied, "No! But....... my ASS hurts like hell!"
 

burger

New Member
Aug 6, 2005
189
0
0
CCK
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY


Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:



DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available
 

Francis247

Senior Member
Jul 10, 2005
6,633
0
36
Hougang, Punggol
forums.clubsnap.com
kit_fisto said:
HAHAHHAHA LOL, wonder what will happen if I really put that answer during my O'levels.
Glad you like this joke, I guess the marker will laugh until he/she fall off the chair. :bsmilie: :bsmilie: :bsmilie:
 

judeseah

New Member
Jan 20, 2005
474
0
0
53
1 Dalvey Road
have 2 jokes to share,
but how do u upload ex-wives???

jude
 

zhang3feng

New Member
Dec 27, 2005
1,321
0
0
SG
www.zhang3feng.com
Francis247 said:
Glad you like this joke, I guess the marker will laugh until he/she fall off the chair. :bsmilie: :bsmilie: :bsmilie:
no her her veins will brust and the blood stain will hv a pattern X on the paper :bsmilie:
 

michhy

New Member
Oct 21, 2005
780
0
0
Here's one :)

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision. Thanks in advance guys.

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with her. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but earlier tonight something odd happened. She had come over to use my computer and had forgotten to sign off of AIM after she left. It was whilst I was going through her buddy list that I noticed my my boss was on her list.

So what I need to know is, what's the best lens to use for indoor sporting events?
 

zhang3feng

New Member
Dec 27, 2005
1,321
0
0
SG
www.zhang3feng.com
michhy said:
Here's one :)

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision. Thanks in advance guys.

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with her. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but earlier tonight something odd happened. She had come over to use my computer and had forgotten to sign off of AIM after she left. It was whilst I was going through her buddy list that I noticed my my boss was on her list.

So what I need to know is, what's the best lens to use for indoor sporting events?
huh???:dunno:
 

Stereobox

Senior Member
Dec 21, 2003
2,116
0
0
Cocteau Twins
michhy said:
Here's one :)

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision. Thanks in advance guys.

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with her. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but earlier tonight something odd happened. She had come over to use my computer and had forgotten to sign off of AIM after she left. It was whilst I was going through her buddy list that I noticed my my boss was on her list.

So what I need to know is, what's the best lens to use for indoor sporting events?
tragicomedy
 

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