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yeppie99

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sigh. how to understand them? maybe Jed or Ian can do a writeup in their usual style.
 

Originally posted by yeppie99
sigh. how to understand them? maybe Jed or Ian can do a writeup in their usual style.

What's up yeppie boy?
 

aiyah someone say i dun understand her, she doesn't understand me, sian lah. i oredi so dulan with my army life she still wanna give so many problems.
 

hahahah - it's because u got army and she got her uni/working life...seen it happen so many times; better don't sian here and there..later lose her ...:cry: then u noe!
 

Hee Hee... My GF says the same thing as well.... And to imagine we are in the same class....

Can't imagine when I go NS... and currently I'm going out with her everyday....
 

Originally posted by yeppie99
aiyah someone say i dun understand her, she doesn't understand me, sian lah. i oredi so dulan with my army life she still wanna give so many problems.

Forgive me for saying this......but it seems to me that you both are probably to busy about each other's individual problem that you do not or fail to understand the other party's position. Perhaps you can start by putting yourself in her position and see in from her point of view. I am sure that if you can do that, you will be able to understand her better.

But I must also say that it will be difficult for her to see it from your point of view. They usually don't......not all, but at least most of them.:(
 

I know it's easier to say than to get it done.

Conficts between couples can be seen as 'opportunities' for each other to come closer together, through understanding; rather than to put distance between the two! ;)
 

thanks all. these are very good advice. but i'm too unhappy to follow any of them. sigh.....i tink i'll just come home and stone the next few days....
 

Originally posted by Flare
Hee Hee... My GF says the same thing as well.... And to imagine we are in the same class....

Can't imagine when I go NS... and currently I'm going out with her everyday....
ur pocket very big?
 

it's always between army boys versus campus mates huh
 

Hi Yeppie,

Actually, No Matter what we do or say, the final decision lies with you. We can give you tons of advise but whether to heed it or not, its still your choice. I think she's might also be seeking friends advise just like you are doing now. 'Not being able to understand each other' may be due to miscommunication or lack of time for communication.

Instead of sittting there and thinking of the worse, blaming yourself or anything else for it, take step back and view the problem from another angle, Its not easy I know, But it really helps. ;) Sulking and not talking about it don't solve the problems at all, neither will not communicating after the incident help.

You did not elaborate on what exactly happened thus I can only help base on my instincts. You have your own problems, in this case, its the Army, and hers might be her stressful academic or working life. The army is one of the popular reasons that couples breakup. If he both of you really cherish each other, try talking the probelms out, Including Hidden feelings that you think will do no help even if expressed coz you might be surprised that it might be these little hidden words that solves the entire problem.

The rule of the thumb is BE positive, and try not to dwell on whatever that has happened and stop there waiting for each other to take action. Do not use 'YOU Should...', "I Never..." during the discussion as you would put the other party on a defence, instead try using "WE should...".

Good luck... :)
 

Originally posted by Violett
Hi Yeppie,

Actually, No Matter what we do or say, the final decision lies with you. We can give you tons of advise but whether to heed it or not, its still your choice. I think she's might also be seeking friends advise just like you are doing now. 'Not being able to understand each other' may be due to miscommunication or lack of time for communication.

Instead of sittting there and thinking of the worse, blaming yourself or anything else for it, take step back and view the problem from another angle, Its not easy I know, But it really helps. ;) Sulking and not talking about it don't solve the problems at all, neither will not communicating after the incident help.

You did not elaborate on what exactly happened thus I can only help base on my instincts. You have your own problems, in this case, its the Army, and hers might be her stressful academic or working life. The army is one of the popular reasons that couples breakup. If he both of you really cherish each other, try talking the probelms out, Including Hidden feelings that you think will do no help even if expressed coz you might be surprised that it might be these little hidden words that solves the entire problem.

The rule of the thumb is BE positive, and try not to dwell on whatever that has happened and stop there waiting for each other to take action. Do not use 'YOU Should...', "I Never..." during the discussion as you would put the other party on a defence, instead try using "WE should...".

Good luck... :)

Thanks for your reply. I don't know what is the reason now that I just don't want to pick up the phone and give her a call. I've tried, but I always end up dialing 5-6 digits and hanging up the phone.

Actually my problem now is not really the fact that I'm in the army and she's studying. I do have quite a bit more free time than many others but definitely not the amount of free time school-life has to offer.

I think I can summarise our problems in one sentence. The problem is a misunderstanding of each other's intentions and actions. I feel that I do a certain thing or feel a certain way because I want things to improve between us but it ends up that she misunderstands it into something bad that I'm doing.

Argh, my life is written in this thread and I don't know what to do.
 

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