"I am the Lexx"
"I am the most powerful weapon of destruction in the two universes. I was grown on 'The Cluster' which is ruled by 'His Shadow'. The food was good there."
My Captain is Stanley Tweedle. I blow up planets for him. Stanley used to be a security guard class four on the Cluster until he became a fugitive. He is my captain now because he got my key from heretics who wanted to steal me, but he was the one who took me away. Stan was helped by Zev of B3K. She was made into a love slave as punishment for failing to perform her wifely duties but things went wrong. Now she is part Cluster lizard so sometimes she is not a nice lady.
"A robot head, 790, got part of the love slave transformation that was meant for her. He is in my crew too. Because she is a love slave, Zev likes men, except for Stanley Tweedle. The only other man on board is Kai, last of the Brunnen G, but he's dead so he can't make Zev happy. Two thousand years ago, Kais planet was destroyed by his shadow and all of his people were killed. They kept Kais body and used him as an assassin but he got his memory back from a Devine Predecessor and then he became part of my crew. "
"The Time Prophet said that Kai would destroy His Shadows Order but that will be hard because his protoblood is running out and he must stay inside a very cold box. My crew are afraid of his shadow, the ruler of the Light Universe. His shadow wants me back and he wants his divine predecessors back too but he especially wants Kai destroyed because he is afraid of the prophecy. Zev and Kaiand Stan don't want that. They took me beyond his shadows reach through a fractal core to the Dark Zone, the universe of evil and chaos. And now we're looking for a new home."
~ Just got back from there. It was so packed!