Economics 101


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major_tom

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Dec 3, 2005
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Nothing new but just to share as it's quite amusing even after a few reads:

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS,
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for
warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for
submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for
equipment. You buy the cows with all this and
claim of exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some
nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind. You
wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat
once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them
worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone
reporting the actual numbers.

SRI LANKAN ECONOMICS
You have a cow and a bull, you let the cow be president and the bull be
prime minister and let them blame each other for the state the country is in.
 

GmbH.

New Member
Jul 6, 2006
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#2
not complete.

there is a Singaporean version.
In Singapore, we "cow beh, cow bu"
 

satay16

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2006
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#4
CS ECONOMICS

You have 1 cow.
You like to compete with others' cows.
The largest cow with lots of bells win,
without caring the quality of milk it produces.
And those who heavily stress on quality of milk produced,
is likely to have small cows.
 

Del_CtrlnoAlt

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2003
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Outside the Dry Box.
Visit site
#5
CS ECONOMICS

You have 1 cow.
You like to compete with others' cows.
The largest cow with lots of bells win,
without caring the quality of milk it produces.
And those who heavily stress on quality of milk produced,
is likely to have small cows.
wat the cow u talking about? :confused:
 

Static

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Jul 5, 2006
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Surfing soft porn in CS
#6
wat the cow u talking about? :confused:
Translation

You have 1 DLSR.
You like to compete with others' DSLR.
The largest DLSR with lots of expensive big lens win,
without caring the quality of the picture it produces.
And those who heavily stress on quality of the picture produced
is likely to have PNS or prosumers.
 

Apr 20, 2003
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Visit site
#11
Singapore economy:
You have one healthy cow. You don't have skill to milk the cow, so can't even produce enough milk to fill in your own cup. Start whining and complaining that the cow is not good.

Then some people from India come. Milk the same cow, and can produce 2 gallon of milk a day. You whin and complain again, saying the new comer not do any justice by milking on longer hours.
 

yanyewkay

Senior Member
Sep 22, 2004
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Cons digger.
#12
your version of sg econ is not right

Singapore economy:
You have 2 cows
They are named "Cow Pay and Cow Bull"
 

tOGGY

New Member
Oct 18, 2004
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#14
Singapore economy:
You have 2 cows
They are named "Cow Pay and Cow Bull"
At the Macro Level:
Cow Pay and Cow Bull invited many foreign cows.
Foreign cows love worshiping in casinos.
Local cows were told to integrate their resorts
and assist in their joyful worship
of Mammon in our land.
Cow Bei and Cow Bu cowed down in obedience.
Money is good. More is better.


-------------------------------------------
We may sow but it is God who will give the increase.
 

eikin

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2004
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東京 Tokyo
#15
Singapore economy:
You have one healthy cow. You don't have skill to milk the cow, so can't even produce enough milk to fill in your own cup. Start whining and complaining that the cow is not good.

Then some people from India come. Milk the same cow, and can produce 2 gallon of milk a day. You whin and complain again, saying the new comer not do any justice by milking on longer hours.
that's so wrong

Singapore Economy:

You have 2 locally bred cows
You milk them till they are dry and leave them to survive on their own, occasionally coming back to milk them when they have enough milk
import 2 other foreign cows that feed less, milk them and sell that milk as local product
 

pai

New Member
Nov 24, 2004
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Lala Land
www.flickr.com
#16
CS ECONOMICS

You have 1 cow.
You like to compete with others' cows.
The largest cow with lots of bells win,
without caring the quality of milk it produces.
And those who heavily stress on quality of milk produced,
is likely to have small cows.
KM/SONY DSLR ECONOMICS

You see 1 cow zeiss in the shop
You buy the cow
Cow don't eat grass, you eat grass
Sony milk you dry
 

Silence Sky

Deregistered
Sep 5, 2006
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#17
Singapore Economics

You have 4.4 million milk cows.
You feed it with 3 ounces of hay in the morning and you can squeeze it for 3kg of milk in the evening.
Your cows always thought that 3kg of milk is the maximum they have to give, but after the judgment day in 2006, the cows realized that they can actually contribute 7kg of milk.
You tell your cows they are best milk cow in the world and they are very proud of the compliment. The cow are very happy.
You are now working on new technology and method to milk each cow 10kg of milk each day while still feeding them 3 ounces of hay
 

satay16

Senior Member
Jan 14, 2006
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#19
SINGAPORE ECONOMICS

You have 2 good cows,
but you just refuse to believe they are good.
 

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