Dozing off while walking after a long day~


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#1


1.in what area is critique to be sought?B]
Hi, this is the first time posting in gallery, do need more advice.
I'd like to know about the pp. I had crop out the lower part to balance the top part, and somehow decrease the saturation of the background to bring up the subject. I want to show the emotion that the subject gaves.

2.what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?
I want to show in a public street like this, there is this family who doze off while walking, a contrast to the street.

3.under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
This picture was taken after a long day walk out in town, and trying to capture some nice, interesting candid shots of the street. It came out at first to be a normal street shots, until i noticed that these family are synchronised in a way that they closed their eyes, and head downs, I planned to bring out the subject in a way that portray a dozing family; tiring family after a long day walk in town.

4.what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
Personally, i thought i had did the best to portray what i intend to get, but still i do want to get professional advice from you guys, how i can improve further.
 

nysheng

New Member
Sep 11, 2006
506
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0
#2
frankly, it's not a very good pic. u didn't manage to portray ur intended idea.

i can't see the dozing off of ur subjects. framing is too tight. too much space on the left and right. remember rules of third

colour is a little flat and ur subjects are just a slight underexposed.

how is this synchronised with eyes closed and heads down? only the boy is doing so.

remember it's hard to show emotion without the eyes
 

Rendell

New Member
Aug 2, 2009
569
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0
Singapore
#3
Composition

1. From viewer standpoint, we would not have know the 2 standing subjects are sleeping if you haven't mention it.

2. The focus of your shot should have been the heartwarming scene, the brother's hand on her head, which is easy for viewers to understand.

3. You can try to crop away the distracting background and display the pic in portrait mode to frame the 3 subjects since the pic is already so tight.

Good try and hope to see more work from you.
 

May 21, 2007
176
0
16
Singapore, North
#4
In an uncontrolled environment, it's hard to capture what you want to achieve, especially so when you are trying to capture all 3 humans.

Suggestion: Try working on one subject. Easier to capture the moment.
Suggestion on image pp: desaturate the subject rather than saturate it, since you are trying to bring out dullness.



1.in what area is critique to be sought?B]
Hi, this is the first time posting in gallery, do need more advice.
I'd like to know about the pp. I had crop out the lower part to balance the top part, and somehow decrease the saturation of the background to bring up the subject. I want to show the emotion that the subject gaves.

2.what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?
I want to show in a public street like this, there is this family who doze off while walking, a contrast to the street.

3.under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
This picture was taken after a long day walk out in town, and trying to capture some nice, interesting candid shots of the street. It came out at first to be a normal street shots, until i noticed that these family are synchronised in a way that they closed their eyes, and head downs, I planned to bring out the subject in a way that portray a dozing family; tiring family after a long day walk in town.

4.what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
Personally, i thought i had did the best to portray what i intend to get, but still i do want to get professional advice from you guys, how i can improve further.
 

#5
Finally see this post up ready for critique. And i'm glad to hear weak points, in the sense that i did see much room for improvements. Now i do see another perspective from your share point of view.
 

night86mare

Deregistered
Aug 25, 2006
25,541
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0
www.pbase.com
#6
once again, i stress:

1) view this as a viewer who hasn't been where you are, with an open mind

2) don't assume that people think the same way you do

you can't squeeze out color from a dull day, you can't squeeze out meaning from something that isn't there. don't attach far too much meaning to a simple picture, no one will get it without your writeup, and even then, you will get reactions like "got meh?"

talking about composition, this image is too cluttered.
 

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