"Don't blame the other woman if he strays"


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Mar 16, 2005
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#1
THis is one of, if not THE, most well-composed and well-considered replies I have ever ever hear of..if only the AVERAGE Singaporean girl thinks this way (which requires going thru a certain self-maturity process I am quite concern)..

Don't blame the other woman if he strays
Letter from MRS LAM

In "Stay away from my husband, you hear!" (Aug 19), sales manager Mrs Tan spoke of dealing with her cheating husband and confronting his lover and her husband. Another betrayed wife writes to her.

Mrs Tan, you are one against the many women out there who would go for your man. If not this woman, there are others — single or married. And would your man turn to prostitution for his needs?

Of course, no one can accept any form of betrayal. But think twice. The worst has already happened. What comes next? Continual love and care from our man after his betrayal? Or our fulfilment of his needs?

Let's be honest as women. When we age, we are unlikely to fulfil our man's needs as much as when we were young.

Hence, it is always important to take your husband in hand and know his desires. Don't blame others. If you are capable in keeping your belongings, they are less likely to get stolen. Do not ring the police to arrest the "thief" who has only taken what you left out to be taken.

I have experienced what you experienced. But I think it is unwise and selfish of you to expose the matter to the other woman's husband. Why extend your anger to her spouse? You may think what you are doing is right, but it is just a form of revenge.

You are also scaring your husband off, making him think he is sleeping with someone who could be a "time bomb". You are stopping him from repeating his mistake with a threat to hurt his "friends".

By doing so, you may have set him on the "ready to leave you" mode if he ever makes a new "friend" he finds more understanding and patient. This is because he won't allow you to hurt "his woman" again.

Remember, you are not the only compatible woman in his entire life. Not until you change and compromise along the way can you become his most compatible.

You were chosen and married to him only because you met him earlier. Only benevolence and magnanimity will allow you to keep your man to your last days.

Link here:
http://www.todayonline.com/articles/68027.asp

update: theres seems some error in the first posting.
 

espn

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Planet Nikon
#4
Well husbands normally stray because of a naggy wife at home :sticktong
 

jbma

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Dec 28, 2003
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Tampines
#7
One up for the mature woman in SG. I think she got guts to admit it.
 

Mar 14, 2005
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#8
alas 1 singaporean woman who can think

but still..that;s 1 out of the obscene number of women who think otherwise
 

clicknick

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Apr 13, 2005
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Hougang
#9
Nice words of encouragement, her method might work, but don't think sure will work. What if the man is unappreciative & mistook his wifes kindness for being weak, and instead of going back to his wife, thinks that he can actually do what he wants and his wife to meek do anything about it, so he repeats his mistakes again look for another woman?

Husband hits wife to vent frustration every time he drunk. Wife remains silent, get beaten everytime, continue to care for husband. Next time husband drunk & frustrated again, chances of him (1)remembering wife cares for him, don't hit her OR (2)hit her, as usual. Which is more likely?
 

Nisa

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Aug 13, 2004
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#10
I felt that if either parties cannot think of the big picture, maybe it better if a couple be 2 units. It's okay to fall out of love with each other, but remember in the frist place, I choose to be in this relationship. If I would break my words to such an important person, it would be better to just let this relationship go, then expect the other person to be "benevolence and magnanimity" so this relationship can go on.
 

kitkat

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Mar 5, 2005
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#11
furrycake said:
are my eyes playing tricks on moi? seem to be re-reading few times :sweatsm:

:bsmilie:
I tot I am the only one who needs change my spect!!
 

espn

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#12
clicknick said:
Nice words of encouragement, her method might work, but don't think sure will work. What if the man is unappreciative & mistook his wifes kindness for being weak, and instead of going back to his wife, thinks that he can actually do what he wants and his wife to meek do anything about it, so he repeats his mistakes again look for another woman?

Husband hits wife to vent frustration every time he drunk. Wife remains silent, get beaten everytime, continue to care for husband. Next time husband drunk & frustrated again, chances of him (1)remembering wife cares for him, don't hit her OR (2)hit her, as usual. Which is more likely?
Let's not talk about the results from it.

Let's talk about the prevention of it. That's what the writer in response to the article had in mind. Not to salvage the situation, but also to warn of the cause. :)
 

clicknick

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Hougang
#13
espn said:
Let's not talk about the results from it.

Let's talk about the prevention of it. That's what the writer in response to the article had in mind. Not to salvage the situation, but also to warn of the cause. :)
Good point :) Prevention better than cure
 

reachme2003

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Oct 6, 2003
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#14
Mrs Lam seems to be a matured, level headed with a healthy dose of sensibility.
 

kuoann

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Mar 30, 2004
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#15
THAT's the way to win (back) your man.

Wisdom such as this reminds me of a book I read... The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr Laura Schlessinger. Its a book many wives should read, although many mordern women will not allow themselves to see the wisdom contained therein.
 

reachme2003

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Oct 6, 2003
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#18
...many modern women... like Mrs Tan, sales manager. don't play, play.


kuoann said:
THAT's the way to win (back) your man.

Wisdom such as this reminds of a book I read... The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr Laura Schlessinger. Its a book many wives should read, although many mordern women will not allow themselves to see the wisdom contained therein.
 

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