Did u choose the right person?


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melvin

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Jun 4, 2005
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#1
Those who are still single may learn something from here....
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
marriage....

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.

She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
"It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are
good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in
love...

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the
imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when
it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between
the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry
the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their
spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for
fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.

It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You
could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a
few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE
RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of
love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it
takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are
predictable...you
can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.






Disclaimer: I am not the writer. just that i copy them from an email! :)
 

zywerkz

New Member
Oct 13, 2007
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#2
makes me want to just stay single
 

Dream Merchant

Moderator
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Jan 11, 2007
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#5
Hmm...so hiw did he know that the large man sitting next to her was her husband? :dunno:
 

foxwagon

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Mar 13, 2005
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#10
If you cannot marry the person you love
Love the person you marry
 

kiwi2

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Feb 4, 2003
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#11
If you cannot marry the person you love
Love the person you marry
This is a cheeky phrase like Do you eat to live or live to eat.. But I don't think that's appropriately said here about marriage. If you don't like a person or rush into a commitment blindly, then loving someone you marry is a disaster. If there is true love in the first place, then the phrase becomes irrelevant. Cos naturally, you will want to marry someone you love.
 

tkbonz

New Member
Dec 11, 2006
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#14
I never believed in "Love at first sight"...then ends up with "and they lived happily ever after..."

To some extent, the first post is right. You need committment and work to make a marriage work out.

Oh, how the guy know the man is the husband? My guess... Since the lady is asking such a question, she is obviously doubting her relationship. So it was easy for the guy to realize the man next to her must be her husband.
 

raincool2005

Senior Member
Sep 10, 2005
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Raffles Place
#15
as people grow matured and experienced after some years in working society.. u know marriage is not that simple.

it is not those days u go pubs or discos... not those anymore.
 

StrifeYun

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2006
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Rivervale Drive
#16
guess i'm with the first post :p

think its best to marry someone who loves you more than you do :p
 

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