Can S$450 raise a child in China?


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ManWearPants

Senior Member
Jul 14, 2008
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Terence Cao: Deadlock born out wedlock

Rumour has it the mother asked for S$1.6k but father only wanted to pay $450. My questions are:

1) Even though DNA proven father to be bio father, but father and mother are not legally married. Is he obligated by law or is it a moral obligation to take care of mother and child?

2) Is $450 enough to raise a child in China (assuming above average lifestyle, not luxurious)?
 

ManWearPants said:
Terence Cao: Deadlock born out wedlock

Rumour has it the mother asked for S$1.6k but father only wanted to pay $450. My questions are:

1) Even though DNA proven father to be bio father, but father and mother are not legally married. Is he obligated by law or is it a moral obligation to take care of mother and child?

2) Is $450 enough to raise a child in China (assuming above average lifestyle, not luxurious)?
Click to expand...

1) yup, child support is the law in most countries.

2) out in the provinces, sure.
 

ManWearPants said:
forgot to mention the mother is from Shanghai, so standard of living can be quite high.
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Ah, that's something else then. Shanghai is ex
 

$450 monthly can raise child in China same say $1000 monthly salary can buy HDB flat in Singapore.

Depends if you approach this with a cynical mindset, a realistic mindset, or a can-do mindset
 

I am wondering being a born out of wedlock will put
the mother and child at a disadvantage such as cannot
Enrol in public school, unable to get subsidy from
Medical care, not to mentioned being ostracize by society.
 

depends on how much he respects himself and his own flesh and blood

sure $450 can support a child but it means no luxury

i think he is stuck in between a rock and a hard place : to pay enough to support a child comfortably vs paying to support BOTH mother and child (aka prevent her from digging his gold)

IMHO he should just outright take over the child with a one lump sum payment and cut off with the woman

He can pay monthly maintenance now but other problems can arise later in life
1. legal claims on his estate in future
2. real/fake serious illness or injury to child
3. child used as a chess pawn in the chess game to get more money
4. child used as a hostage go demand other things in future
 

He has screwed up, that's for sure. And I thought he can do better.

By asking for S$1.6k, I am sure the mother structure it as a stay home caretaker.
Probably also staggered to have to pay more as the kid gets older.

How diff would it be if it happens in Sin from China
 

$1600 a month to feed and support mother and child in Shanghai is VERY reasonable already
Shanghai is an expensive city to live in and she is not really asking for the sky

the mother is not going to get rich on $1600 a month feeding 2 mouths thats for sure

aiming for $450 makes him look very heartless, small and cheap
 

Lesson learnt. If you cannot spare $2k every month. Keep your thing in your pants :)
 

He did not expect that the lady would:
• become pregnant
• decide not to abort
• go to court to expose that he is the father
• go to court to get court order of maintenance for child

To him it was a one night stand.
He should have used a condom.

• modern day DNA testing can prove he is the father

Assuming he has to pay $1,600 per month up to the time the child is 20 years old.
That is Sing$384,000.
An expensive one night stand.

He did not marry the lady as his wife before the child was conceived.

Shanghai ladies are generally not simple minded. Nor are they usually lovie-dovie romantic novel types.

Unfortunately he must have tried too hard to impress the lady that he is well to do, a tycoon of some sort.

She would probably have aborted if he made it clear that he was an ordinary Joe struggling to make a living.
But then again, if he told her the truth that he is a poor Mr. Nobody, she would NOT have had sex with him.

It is not about $450 or $1,600 per month. To a Shanghai pretty lady that is small potatoes.

If she had a (wrong) impression that he is a tycoon and has business or assets worth say, $X hundred Million. Then she wants ½ of all that.

That is what she may be after.
 

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ManWearPants said:
Lesson learnt. If you cannot spare $2k every month. Keep your thing in your pants :)
Click to expand...

Assuming he wears one :bsmilie:
Seriously.. this guy should be castrated
lai-shi-last-eunuch-max-et-wu-ma2_19a01a26ffc275f03bfa2f3b2d6eaa6a.jpg
 

"To him it was a one night stand.
He should have used a condom. "

I've read there are ladies who will impregnate themselves by using the sperm in condom right away without partners knowledge. :)
 

Not everyone can afford $1.6 m and both parties are adults, they are both responsible. Mistake done, they must work out an amicable solution. The loser is the child.

If both cannot financially take care of this child, which is not the case, but more don't want the responsibility, the other option is adoption. Let someone who love the child look after him.
 

Bottom line is he couldn't/wouldn't keep it in his pants. Crux of the matter is, is he willing to take responsibility for his actions?

If you ask me, paying the 1.6k a month is peanuts considering that raising a child is more than just about the money. The time and energy spent is something that money cannot buy.

He should just suck it up and pay the child maintenance.
 

上得山多终遇虎。If the man has not met a feisty Shanghaiese, who knows how many more young girls he will piak without wearing protection.

Best is court orders he to pay the full amount for child maintenance.
 

ed9119 said:
depends on how much he respects himself and his own flesh and blood

sure $450 can support a child but it means no luxury

i think he is stuck in between a rock and a hard place : to pay enough to support a child comfortably vs paying to support BOTH mother and child (aka prevent her from digging his gold)

IMHO he should just outright take over the child with a one lump sum payment and cut off with the woman

He can pay monthly maintenance now but other problems can arise later in life
1. legal claims on his estate in future
2. real/fake serious illness or injury to child
3. child used as a chess pawn in the chess game to get more money
4. child used as a hostage go demand other things in future
Click to expand...

.......I like it when you talk dirty ................ gold digging is very hard work you know ........... but nobody can do it better than the PRC's........
 

ManWearPants said:
Lesson learnt. If you cannot spare $2k every month. Keep your thing in your pants :)
Click to expand...

This.. Is the best advice :)
 

I am a father of a 3 years and to me, the $450 is barely enought for the milk powder, clothing and diapers, let a lone the kid's developments and enhancement courses. Dont forget being a single parent, the mother will be the sole breadwinner and you need a caretaker for the baby.

Beside that, the kid has no dad to turn to and has to put up with "私生子" title for the rest of her life because of selfish adults. Thats is the most unfortunate by event, imo why not both of them explore to live together and form a family? U never know really, it might work out :)
 

Initially, I thought this is a case of PRC digging gold like what Ricohflex described. I googled and found that the man involved is a playboy who frequents nightspots and pickup young girls. No sympathy for such character. Seriously, now I hope the PRC gets the court to rule in her favour.
 

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