Boys [..and girls ahem]...ITS BACK.."Women win, men lose"


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Mar 16, 2005
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Voices // Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Women win, men lose
Under the prevailing laws, Singaporean men really do end up worse off after divorce

Letter from Jimmy Ho Kwok Hoong

I REFER to the letter by Mr Wong Hoong Hooi, "Marriage? Laws are a raw deal for men" (Aug 26).

My friend's wife squandered away most of his 20-year savings with credit cards.

When he confronted her, she demanded a divorce. Being magnanimous, he gave up his condominium and custody of his only daughter to his wife.

However, few years later, she returned to sue him for additional maintenance, even though he was nearly bankrupt. In court, the judge told him that he had "asked for it" by consenting to a divorce in Singapore.

His plight is typical of the Singapore divorce ordeal where a man, regardless of the reasons for his divorce, is made to pay for leaving his wife.

Even some foreign women are aware of this and sometimes respond to the "opportunity" by engaging in "temporary" marriages with Singaporean men to take advantage of this weakness of our legal system.

The upgrading of women's status and respect for them is always seen as a sign of a maturing society.

But to overdo it by placing males at the mercy of females legally shows that our legislators have no time to deal with the complex problems of marriage. By making one party shoulder all the negative consequences of a marriage breakdown saves time and helps clear the courts' backlog.

No, it is certainly not easy to be a family man in Singapore.

There are Singaporean males (especially the rich ones) who choose not to get married to avoid being ripped off of what rightfully belongs to them.

Certain developed nations allow for the net worth of married couples to be registered at the point of marriage as a determinant of what each party ought to "reimburse" eachother should they divorce.

Unfortunately, this is not a Singaporean practice.

Some men resort to being submissive to their spouses to prevent them from raising the word "divorce" upon the slightest disagreement. Possibly, they do this to avoid the nightmarish consequence of having to lose everything — including their wealth and children.

However, in return, some local women say they are "sissy and indecisive".

There are also men who opt for cohabitation, playing it safe when they think they may not be lucky enough to end up with a "good" Singaporean wife. But the concept is taboo in our society.

It is natural for human beings to want to get married and have kids. When the law is against men in marriage, the men have no choice but to resign themselves to fate — unless they are prepared to challenge it.

But not many males would boycott a legal system by refusing to marry. In other words, committing to a marriage does not reflect one's complete acceptance of the prevailing matrimonial terms.

Singaporean men are not given much choice if they stumble into a disastrous marriage.

Women are. They can pack up and leave with their kids and still enjoy a comfortable life with a huge chunk of their husband's assets and maintenance money. Under the prevailing laws, Singaporean men really do end up worse off after divorce

:devil:
 

idor

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Nov 11, 2004
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#4
ortega said:
so be smart and have no assets, 50% of zero is zero.
yah lor.... before divorce, use money to buy Hassy D2D, lens and everything you will need.... hehehe end up you got no more fixed assert to divide... after divorce, use it to generate income.... collect only cash..... :bsmilie: :bsmilie: :bsmilie:
 

Pro Image

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Oct 31, 2003
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#5
Well keep your savings somewhere else lar.....

Only you will know where the savings are....off shore banking should be quite safe right? If no one knows about it.

Women is sometimes a little too much as well. Keeping bugging men to get married to them.

Stashing some savings is a must nowadays.......the best person to stash your life savings is your mother. She will help you no matter what happend. So guys if u really want to be extra KIASU, give some of your savings to your mother. Seriously if the law in Singapore make it such a way, I would resort in this.

So what if women who is unhappy calls you a wimp. Most important is your life savings is intact.

Working your butt out for 20 years and money all gone because she is unhappy with you. NO WAY!

To me ALL HUMANS HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS.
 

Nisa

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Aug 13, 2004
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#9
I think the person quite gong lor!! :rolleyes: to let her have access to his savings.
Personally i think, a man should support the family, but not to the extend of handing his whole savings to his wife, likewise a woman shouldn't.

I meant it's okay if the couple shares to what extend their savings and liabilities are, and be truthful about it. But then not to the extend of giving access to their spouses to spend and use to their whims.:devil:
 

dEthANGeL

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Jun 20, 2004
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#12
Really reading articles/debates like these make me think twice in marriage :sweat: ...
 

unclej

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Mar 22, 2004
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#14
Put all your properties and business under names of people you can trust (eg. your parents, your bro, your sis, your old dog :bsmilie: ,... etc :)

I heard that if you can proof to the court that your wife has never contributed to financing your properties (and your expensive camera.. :cool: ) she mostly shouldn't get a share after divorce of such things.
 

dkw

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Dec 10, 2003
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#15
itisnottheendorg said:
I REFER to the letter by Mr Wong Hoong Hooi, "Marriage? Laws are a raw deal for men" (Aug 26).
Oh yes, Mr Wong HH, that "voice of reason"


itisnottheendorg said:
No, it is certainly not easy to be a family man in Singapore.
Really? Have you tried? Don't presume to speak for all of us.

itisnottheendorg said:
There are also men who opt for cohabitation, playing it safe when they think they may not be lucky enough to end up with a "good" Singaporean wife. But the concept is taboo in our society.

It is natural for human beings to want to get married and have kids. When the law is against men in marriage, the men have no choice but to resign themselves to fate — unless they are prepared to challenge it.

But not many males would boycott a legal system by refusing to marry. In other words, committing to a marriage does not reflect one's complete acceptance of the prevailing matrimonial terms.
Nah, I think its just an excuse to enjoy the "privileges" of a wedded man without the commitment and responsibilities. This has been the desire of hot-blooded males since time immemorial, except now they cook up some cowardly excuse rather than stating it for what it is. Lets put it this way, if there are no weddings, where are the pro photogs going to get jobs?:bsmilie:
 

Zplus

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Mar 16, 2002
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#16
dkw said:
Lets put it this way, if there are no weddings, where are the pro photogs going to get jobs?:bsmilie:
Well, you will probably have to look at more:
1) Makeover pictures for people to continue looking good - since they are single and wanna keep slim.
2) Pictures of old age people when single old male/ females continue to try and look good.
3) Pet photography since we all know that pets don't divorce. And even if they do... you don't lose a cent thereafter.

Hehehehehe!

Just my 1/3 f-stop...:)
 

Drudkh

Senior Member
Mar 2, 2004
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#17
dawgbyte77 said:
No wonder more men now change gender.
and no wonder the government is more open to homos/gays?
is that a hint to the solution?
 

leeter

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May 1, 2004
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#18
After reading...... Ekkk Marriage is Scary !! haha

doubt i will get married sooo soon... lolz
 

Mar 14, 2005
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#19
well....sexual equality mah

this is how it works in singapore

men serve NS, women go chiong
men pay, women go shopping
men carry, women buy
men take 1/2 of his assets, women take the other half.


get it?
 

Del_CtrlnoAlt

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Feb 15, 2003
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#20
Murcielago said:
well....sexual equality mah

this is how it works in singapore

men serve NS, women go chiong
men pay, women go shopping
men carry, women buy
men take 1/2 of his assets, women take the other half.


get it?
ya... Men -1, Women +1...

Round 1 - KO - Women win...
Round 2 - KO - Women win again...
Round 3 - KO - Men surrender... :sticktong

Its not easy... to be... Meeeee.....:bheart:
 

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