Any jokes to share? Smile!! Laugh!!


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smalltake

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Oct 10, 2006
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Up North......
#1
Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed
his clothes. All the animals laughed.

Tarzan asked "Why"?
The animals told him..........."Your tail is in the front".
 

nikontiger

Deregistered
Feb 19, 2006
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East Coast
#2
I think thats the hair lah, not the tail, see....




...did you laugh?
 

Canew

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Jul 26, 2005
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#3
The Study

A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, where as women use 20,000 words per day.

His wife thought about this for a while. She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

Her husband looked stunned. He said "What?"
 

Canew

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#4
50th Wedding Anniversary

A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married.

"Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man, if I didn't marry you!"
 

Canew

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#5
Couldn't Spell

Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.

"Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?"

"Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I, I couldn't spell 'convenience,' so I made it 'risk.'"
 

furrycake

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Jul 8, 2005
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eastern past
#6
The Nun Decorators
-------------------

The Sister-Superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.

One nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."

So they do this, and begin painting their room.

Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"

"A Blind man!"

The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see.
What could it hurt." They let him in.

The man walks in, does a double take, and says, "Where do you want me to hang the blinds?
 

Canew

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#7
The nun replied

A soldier ran up to a nun.

Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt.

I'll explain later."

The nun agreed.


A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied, "He went that way."

After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and
said,


"I can't thank you enough Sister.

You see, I don't want to go to Iraq."

The nun said, "I understand completely."

The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
legs!"

The nun replied,


"If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either"
 

melvin

Senior Member
Jun 4, 2005
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TPY
#9
I remember some time back think about 1 n half year ago i was shopping around for a mobile phone at i think M1 shop in Bugis.

Was being served by a sales gal introducing some mobile the model n function, i couldnt make up my mind, then sales gal ask me what kind of phones i m looking for what are the function i need.

Then she was showing me two model (i cant remember) and between the two model the sales gal said:" this 1 got camera no blue tooth, the other got blue tooth no camera so how? which u one?"

then out of the blue n i answer:" oh got camera.... no bluetooth never mind it fine wif me.... anyway if i need the bluetooth i can always colour my tooth blue!"

And the sales gal:sweat::bsmilie:
 

cjtune

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Mar 20, 2006
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#10
I remember some time back think about 1 n half year ago i was shopping around for a mobile phone at i think M1 shop in Bugis.

Was being served by a sales gal introducing some mobile the model n function, i couldnt make up my mind, then sales gal ask me what kind of phones i m looking for what are the function i need.

Then she was showing me two model (i cant remember) and between the two model the sales gal said:" this 1 got camera no blue tooth, the other got blue tooth no camera so how? which u one?"

then out of the blue n i answer:" oh got camera.... no bluetooth never mind it fine wif me.... anyway if i need the bluetooth i can always colour my tooth blue!"

And the sales gal:sweat::bsmilie:
:thumbsup: Classic - if you want to pickup girls... they probably will find it as a cute sort of humour.
 

Zhiliang

New Member
Dec 20, 2006
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Serangoon
#11
Adolf Hitler went to see a fortune teller, and asked when would he die.

The fortune teller replied, "On a Jewish festival!"

Adolf Hitler asked, "How do you know that?"

Well he answered, "Any day that you die, it will definitely be a Jewish festival."
 

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