A test of concentration - Critique this


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ed9119

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#1
This is a test of one's concentration especially if you are a newbie and want to learn how to critique and avoid getting distracted by a pretty face in the image

This is a typical image where a pretty face tends to support an otherwise crappy image.... you will find plenty of these examples in portraits, lingere and bikini images

So take this as an exercise and fire away !

1. in what area is critique to be sought?
I am a beginner seeking comments on how to make a photo more impactful and compelling. I also want to improve in the composition of the picture.

2. what one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?
How should a photographer with his skills and a model with her curves and pretty face work together to create an image that says "POWWW!!!" ..... how can a competent photographer ENHANCE this situation ? (i.e. lets pretend that YOU are on location with this babe......)

3. under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)

Outdoors cloudy day, rooftop , gold reflector applied

4. what the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture
I think its (the image not the babe) a piece of shiet...... and the PERFECT material for newbies to bite into

OK..... wipe off the saliva and discuss/dissect/critique

 

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wildcat

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#2
I'm a newbie, so I will give it a go :)

1. Black top, white bottom. If it's meant to contrast, there are better ways of portraying this.

2. The hands like dunno put where. Looks a bit lost.

3. Her expression, with mouth slightly opened, looks more like she's drooling than me.

4. The light looks very harsh. If it were me, I might lower the contrast to smoothen her skin (sorry, I'm still noob, so that's all I know how to) and perhaps adjust the colour/WB a bit. However the amount of light falling on her is good (not too dark on the face, especially in sun)

5. I think she has a pretty face but her boobies too big for my taste. I might put her to a side or back profile to show one side of her boobies (not look so big and out of place), i.e. turn her body 90 or even 180 degrees while maintaining head position to still look at camera from same position.

6. Her auburn hair is very striking and nice. If it were me, I would have desaturated everything except the hair. However, that didn't really work for my last (and only photoshoot) PP so maybe other people don't like that afterall (but maybe it does coz one of the model posted up only that picture in her website). I think it works because if there is no particular focus point for the photo, making the hair coloured contrasting against a B&W photo should do the job.

Disclaimer again: I'm a newbie, and more so with portrait photography.
 

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ed9119

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#3
please feel free to PP it if you need to show your point :)

"Her expression, with mouth slightly opened...." actually that was just the only thing I liked about the image..... I think its a nice sexy pout.

Thanks for the constructive critique :)

Dont be shy guys.....Keep the comments and critiques coming ........

If the participation towards test cases like these is low ....... then maybe I will just leave you guys alone in fututre :) ?
 

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sabee

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#4
Lighting seems a tad harsh, shadows casted everywhere by hair, hands and breasts, pretty rough texture on skin. Hands are placed in an awkward position. Since background is extremely OOF, the yellow stuff near the bottom is fairly distracting without addding any value, desaturatation or any PP to reduce its visibility would be good on that.

Disclaimer: In no way an expert on portraits.
 

ed9119

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#5
Thanks Sabee :) .... agree with you on her pose

When doing make up..... many just apply it on the face and maybe neck area..... causing skin tones between head and rest of body to show a marked difference .... other factors could have caused it too

Would it help if I'd removed all that gunk on her face and just left the lipstick on with a tiny bit of blush ? please advise
 

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night86mare

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#7
sorry, you know you won't get any salivation from me.

maybe you might want to ask my koala to comment on this one, but i think she steers clear of the critique corner.. :)

1) angle is way off, you are showcasing her thick midsection and her love handles are clearly visible. if you are attempting to make this appealing in the sexual way, showing off her flaws are not going to help much.

2) i am not sure how you managed to get this result, but her cleavage area is glowing brighter than the rest, it is visibly whiter. only reason i can think of is reflector posing some problems.

3) details, details, details - bikini tie thing is falling in front and is not helping you out here, you should have noticed it and got her to move it back. other than that, way too many hand accessories, really. i would lose at the very least that left hand ring and that big outstanding thick bangle that just looks very out of place on her arm.

4) this is nothing to do with photography, but i really dislike the makeup. i do not know whether it is badly done or not, but that blusher looks way overdone from what i usually see irl. probably better for an indoor/night dinner sort of setting.

5) the yellowish cast on her face , in particular the part in shadow is not a good thing.

6) skin has been over DI'ed, too plasticky for me, yet you left her eyebags underneath the left eye.

7) what's with the yellow things in the background that distract?

8) did you really get her to pose that way? especially with that hand positioning - it looks a wee bit cheesey.

9) the composition just doesn't quite fall into place. in part because of the many things from #1 to #8 i just mentioned.

cheers.
 

ed9119

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#8
no problem at all nightmare bro......great comments.....

brother, read my initial post leh..... this is a reject for so many reasons..... she was not even ready yet then kekeke .... but its PERFECT fodder for learning , no ? :)

ahhhhhhhh ..... this brings up another point........just a reminder to comment/critique on the image without attacking the photog or the model .... ha ha ha :bsmilie:
 

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night86mare

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#9
ahhhhhhhh ..... this brings up another point........comment/critique on the image without attacking the photog .... ha ha ha :bsmilie:
sorry, did i attack you? :D

i hope i didn't, you should know i'm not as serious as that. :bsmilie:
 

ed9119

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#10
sorry, did i attack you? :D

i hope i didn't, you should know i'm not as serious as that. :bsmilie:
oh no no no.... you did nothing of the sort bro.....

comment was directed at newbies to critique to try to be totally objective and to focus opinions on the image

This way CS can then at least play a part in helping members develop sensible, constructive and educated comments

As it is now, our Galleries are polluted with too much 'Wow ! Great shot !' type comments that are of little use except as ego-inflators
 

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night86mare

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#12
OK..... wipe off the saliva and discuss/dissect/critique
but bro, i nosebleed already.

you really have a very pretty model, i am very envious.

do you know whether there is an upcoming photoshoot featuring her?

i wish i was that bikini tie thing lying on her.......... thumbs up, three thumbs up, no horse run. this is the best picture i have ever seen. i am going to print it up secretly and erm......... do cool stuff to it (that you don't really need to have more information about).

someday, you should conduct a workshop! wow! your lighting is perfect, professional. i have tried this kind of lighting before, i tell you, to get this mix is not an easy task at all.

drool............



:bsmilie::bsmilie::bsmilie:
As it is now, our Galleries are polluted with too much 'Wow ! Great shot !' type comments that are of little use except as ego-inflators
P.S.

this is a perfect example of WHAT NOT TO DO in critique corner.
 

ed9119

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#13
but bro, i nosebleed already.

you really have a very pretty model, i am very envious.

do you know whether there is an upcoming photoshoot featuring her?

i wish i was that bikini tie thing lying on her.......... thumbs up, three thumbs up, no horse run. this is the best picture i have ever seen. i am going to print it up secretly and erm......... do cool stuff to it (that you don't really need to have more information about).

someday, you should conduct a workshop! wow! your lighting is perfect, professional. i have tried this kind of lighting before, i tell you, to get this mix is not an easy task at all.

drool............



:bsmilie::bsmilie::bsmilie:

.
Ah .....see lah ??? This is the type of comment that are hormone/testosterone driven. :)

Thanks nightmare !
 

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Sep 28, 2008
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#14
seriously of this pic...
i will only have this - just some 5min minor edit. even the edited pic...i also dun dare to post la..
failures of this pic:
1) model seemed fat at this angle
2) the bikini got extra string coming out
3) what are the hands doing?
4) bikini strip in front?
5) egh said la - model is pretty how u take also pretty. hahah

seriously of this pic...
i will only have this - just some 5min minor edit. even the edited pic...i also dun dare to post la..

 

ed9119

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#15
thanks wildsoybeans ...... agree agree

Wow, up to now nobody's spotted or commented on the MOST glaring fault with this image...... YOU (guys) are staring right at it and still cannot see it ??? ha ha ha :)
 

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Aug 7, 2009
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#16
I'm dying to know what we are missing but what are the strange patterns just under her breasts?
 

wildcat

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#18
Err... do you know whether there is an upcoming photoshoot featuring her? :heart::heart::heart:

:vhappy:
 

wildcat

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#19
thanks wildsoybeans ...... agree agree

Wow, up to now nobody's spotted or commented on the MOST glaring fault with this image...... YOU (guys) are staring right at it and still cannot see it ??? ha ha ha :)
Sorry... but I was trying not to stare :embrass:
 

tortise

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#20
thanks wildsoybeans ...... agree agree

Wow, up to now nobody's spotted or commented on the MOST glaring fault with this image...... YOU (guys) are staring right at it and still cannot see it ??? ha ha ha :)
i dunno what is glaringly wrong... but since you said there is and gave a clue, i tried to find something.
Is it this?
 

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