A moment to share.

[nigel84]

Its been a long while since I had posted anything in Critique Corner for some serious slamming and critique. However, I think I'm in need of some serious help.

Day out with my wife at the botanical gardens and experimented a couple of self or rather "us" portraits. In the shot below, I was trying to get the off shoe flash light up a silhouette of myself and my wife trying to hold my chin up against her. On a first look, this shot, appears to be a keeper, however looking at it again, i found that, something is kinda missing from here. And I'm not sure what it is. I would hope that the members out here would help me in this.


IMG_9945_1 by Nigel_4ever, on Flickr

 

[ed9119]

really touching moment :heart:

the background sun seems bright enough to execute a shioluette without the use of flash ... can get lower, reposition etc etc ....but ok thats a different discussion

with this image...... the flash seems distracting.... clone it away or burn it a little (dont know if it will help) ? the flare although there did not seem to hurt the image too much

 

[nigel84]

errm, ed, mind sharing everything on what you had mentioned? The part where u stated, lower, reposition, etc. Although it might belong to another discussion, but I think it is still valid as I'm looking into ways to improve this particular image.

I would try to burn a little on the flash, to see how the image would turn out, and post it back here a lil later.

 

[jerots]

eh got the feel sial =D

noob comments:
hmm i think the round, distinct shape of the flash make it distracting

 

[ed9119]

....The part where u stated, lower, reposition,....

well, i think the sky makes a good light source from which to frame the shilouettes.... good idea with the flash which (imho) might help (and it DID throw a little halo over the both of you :thumbsup: ) if it was used but kept out of the image... you could try to repositioning camera lower to seperate the shilouettes outside and away from the other shadows (parts of the heads are blending into the foilage

hope it helps, good luck !!

 

[xxdoggyxx]

Is that a canon 35mm? I see that there are hexagon instead of circle...

From my thinking, i think the light should right in between their both faces. Perhaps it would look nicer.
Are they friend/model? The girl is laughing and the guy stand in a weird position... Not natural enough... I don't laugh when i kiss... =.=

Cheers

 

[nigel84]

eh got the feel sial =D

noob comments:
hmm i think the round, distinct shape of the flash make it distracting

Ya, i agree as well, should had made my F stop higher, and lower the flash power, It appears to be too harsh and the ball of light is a wee bit distracting. :cry:

well, i think the sky makes a good light source from which to frame the shilouettes.... good idea with the flash which (imho) might help (and it DID throw a little halo over the both of you :thumbsup: ) if it was used but kept out of the image... you could try to repositioning camera lower to seperate the shilouettes outside and away from the other shadows (parts of the heads are blending into the foilage

hope it helps, good luck !!

Positioning the camera lower? Errm, pardon my ignorance, but ed, if i position my camera lower, i would lose my leaves framing above and the pavilion behind might become a hat that I would be wearing in the pic:dunno:

Is that a canon 35mm? I see that there are hexagon instead of circle...

From my thinking, i think the light should right in between their both faces. Perhaps it would look nicer.
Are they friend/model? The girl is laughing and the guy stand in a weird position... Not natural enough... I don't laugh when i kiss... =.=

Cheers

Ya agreed, I should have placed the flash a step higher, to have in a more proportional position. They are neither friend nor model, it is myself and my wife. My wife must have been laughing as i had to run here and there to set things right and I'm much taller than her which could explain the weird position. However, I would bear those in mind, and tell my wife, lets not luff! ;p

 

[xxdoggyxx]

Ya agreed, I should have placed the flash a step higher, to have in a more proportional position. They are neither friend nor model, it is myself and my wife. My wife must have been laughing as i had to run here and there to set things right and I'm much taller than her which could explain the weird position. However, I would bear those in mind, and tell my wife, lets not luff! ;p

In that case, have your wife's head tilted up. Its more romantic.

 

[limwhow]

Hello nigel84.
Perhaps you and your wife could exchange position.
Meaning, you the man, stands on the left straight up and holds your wife's chin with her looking up towards you, a more demure feminine position.
Your current position seems to be a reversal of the man-woman role.
And perhaps that is why you may feel that something is amiss.

 

[nigel84]

@ xxdoggyxx: yups, point noted, but like what limwhow had said in the next post, i think a switch in role would be better.

@ limwhow: Ty! Perhaps that is the contributing reason...