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YiyUuuu

New Member
Nov 29, 2010
28
0
0
#1




1. In what area is critique to be sought?

All critics and comments are greatly appreciated. It may come from composition, overall feel of the picture. And of course any suggestions that could help make my work better.

2. What one hopes to achieve with the piece of work?

As i was strolling along a beach. I saw many fragmented seashells. Alone, they were pretty much not significant. But as i collected more, i pieced them together to form a big shell. I wanted to use this to symbolize how life should be. Hence i sat down and came up with a short poem to accompany and support the broken seashell puzzle.


3. Under what circumstance is the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)

This was taken when i was strolling along a beach in maldives. I was in a very relaxed mood and hence the thought to see life as beautiful came about.


4. What the critique seeker personally thinks of the picture

I personally think the picture isn't much. I was hopping that together coupled together with the poem it could bring out a message to others out there struggling in life.
 

kwttan

New Member
Jan 8, 2010
845
0
0
Concrete jungle
#3
Very unique, look like postcard. Personally, I would prefer the cluster of shells to be moved slight lower instead of at the middle. Exposure is OK.
 

YiyUuuu

New Member
Nov 29, 2010
28
0
0
#4
Thx for the comments!

@Override: I felt that the black and white could bring our the feelings more =/ i will try it out with colour and see how it goes =) and yes i photoshopped it a little ^^

@kwttan: Yes i wanted to make into something like a poster =) i think you're right about the composure :eek:
 

sinned79

Senior Member
Jun 18, 2009
10,868
3
0
Singapore
www.aboutlove.sg
#5
reduce your water mark size and place it below your text. I think it look better that way and neater.

you may want to try a different color/different font for your text... cos it is too blended into the photo and doesn't gives much impact like those inspiration posters.
 

Last edited:

Lekech

New Member
Jul 13, 2005
198
0
0
#6
The poem is actually quite good... did you compose it yourself?

As for the pic, I didn't realise those were seashells till you mentioned it. Their 'fragmented' state accentuates the poem, but discounts the visual impact.

IMHO, cheers
 

derrickder

Senior Member
May 18, 2010
691
4
18
25
Singapore
www.derrickchin.com
#7
Hi,
Great attempt there. My take would be by compressing how much the vertical section of the poem stretches, is would deliver a more powerful impact to the viewer.
And as sinned79 has mentioned, the font blends with the colour, hence rendering it difficult to view.
 

YiyUuuu

New Member
Nov 29, 2010
28
0
0
#8
@ Sinned: thx, will take note.

@ Lekech: yup self composed to accompany the pic =)

@ derrick: thx dude. will try it the next time round.
 

MRSAMO

New Member
Nov 17, 2008
598
0
0
Australia->Japan
#9
If you didn't say that these were shells I would have no clue what they would be as they look like food to me. That said I agree with Override2Zion as the BW hides the context of the shell a bit too much, but then I'm not sure if colour matches with the rest of the setup. Try patterned shells or distinctive ones to make them stand out just a little bit more.
 

May 1, 2009
321
0
16
#10
If you didn't say that these were shells I would have no clue what they would be as they look like food to me. That said I agree with Override2Zion as the BW hides the context of the shell a bit too much, but then I'm not sure if colour matches with the rest of the setup. Try patterned shells or distinctive ones to make them stand out just a little bit more.
I agreed with MRSAMO.

The picture doesnt look like a shell. Since you've taken the photo, mayb you make it coloured instead of b &w because the shell doesn't have much texture and strong contrast. Making it colored would at least makes it look like shell.

I like the depth and lighting you used to lead the eye to the subject, i suppose the shell, and

anyway, keep up. i see the potential in you :O)

I am just learning too . Just my 1 cent.
 

Last edited:
Dec 30, 2010
69
0
0
#11
nice image, I can feel the romantic atmosphere, maybe better if poem not intersect with shell.
 

zenix84

New Member
Jun 9, 2010
288
0
0
#12
Overall looks nice. But I cannot understand how does shells relate to the poem. The poem is nice to me (though I don't study poems) however I don't get the "full of steam" part.

Oh one more thing. The 'TM' in your sign feels a little unneeded for me but hey it is your siggy. ;)
 

YiyUuuu

New Member
Nov 29, 2010
28
0
0
#13
I agreed with MRSAMO.

The picture doesnt look like a shell. Since you've taken the photo, mayb you make it coloured instead of b &w because the shell doesn't have much texture and strong contrast. Making it colored would at least makes it look like shell.

I like the depth and lighting you used to lead the eye to the subject, i suppose the shell, and

anyway, keep up. i see the potential in you :O)

I am just learning too . Just my 1 cent.
Thank you so much!

nice image, I can feel the romantic atmosphere, maybe better if poem not intersect with shell.
I thought i little intersection would be nice. I will try another version =) thx!

Overall looks nice. But I cannot understand how does shells relate to the poem. The poem is nice to me (though I don't study poems) however I don't get the "full of steam" part.

Oh one more thing. The 'TM' in your sign feels a little unneeded for me but hey it is your siggy. ;)

Its the gesture of all the tiny pieces of shells gathering together to work a bigger beautiful shell. Just like the how the little pieces of life should be to make life beautiful. ;)
 

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