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Thread: Amazing CS statistics .... WARNING: sense of humour required

  1. #61
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    60) A least once a week, someone will comment "no banal talk please".

  2. #62
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    61) At least once a week, someone will post WTB XXX camera/len/etc when there is a whole list of exactly the same items on sale...

  3. #63

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    Consolidated list....

    1) One in every three threads will have "BUY BUY BUY" in it ...
    2) Once every month (at least) some brave (benefit of doubt .. the other word i can think of would be foolish) canonite / nikonian will venture into the forbidden grounds and make some outragous statement that starts a flame war.
    3) There is a secret competition between canonites and nikonians on how many people the can lure to the other side ... i dunno who's keeping score though ....
    4) 90% of the newbies who post photo for comments seldom get constructive comments
    5) 90% of the portraits posted will have a comment "ooh .. pretty model" ...
    6) Most portraiture critics have a unhealthy obession with neat hair ... "the model's have too messy" ... :P
    7) Most canonites and nikonians who obsess about their expensive equipment seldom post their works ... (ok .. i admit, i made this one up ... )
    8) At least once in 2 mths, some one will start such a list.
    9) Once in a month, or after some major product launch, some one will inevitably write in to groan/moan/bitch about being cheated/received lousy service by AP, MScolor, CP, TCW or any major camera shops (this list of shops are not arranged in order of merit of complaints).
    10) Every now and then, someone will buy a new toy and instead of going out to get some great shots 1st, they come CS and say "HEY! I JUST BOUGHT A XXXXXX!!!!"
    11) Everyone seems to think their equipment doesn't devaluate when they are selling ... but everyone else's depreciate at least 50% when they are interested to buy ...
    12) Once a month, some one will start a thread "Sigma vs Tamron zoom lens", even tho there are hundreds of replies on this topic already.
    13) Every now and then someone will ask what are these secret codewords:
    - CP/AP/MS/John/Lords
    - DOF/FLM/Bokeh/Trinity
    - AFD/AFS/L/ED/VR/IS
    - MRT/LRT/***/SDP/oops....
    14) Everytime when someone starts an MO, inevitably another would say "I can get it cheaper".... without offering to tell the rest where or himself/herself doing the MO.
    15) When the mods starts an MO, inevitably someone will question the warranty, complain abt the pricing, the availabilty of stock, why close MO so early/start so late... etc
    16) At least once a month, some rep from a company will inevitably ask for free services among CSers....
    17) Once a week, a new member will ask "how to post pictures here?", and then a very kind mod or admin will answer "u do this then this then this...."
    18) Every 10 seconds, there is a new post added on the thread "Newbie Outings Chit Chat", it is now almost impossible to read thru the whole thread already.
    19) At anytime of the day, 80% or more pple are browsing the "Buy and Sell" Section.
    20) Most popular question in B&S posted - "Is it still available?"..... even tho the thread mebbe 1 or 2 years ago...
    21) Within a month from the launch of new DSLR, sightings of picture gallery posts saying "Pictures taken by XXX camera" are seen. >.<
    22) Within a day of a DSLR launch, the camera is found WTS in Buy & Sell
    23) Every 10 seconds, another post is added to the thread 'Sentosa Outing on 29/08/04 sunday', which I suspiciously think is competing with 'Newbie Outings Chit Chat' for the longest thread ever!
    24) Within 5 mins of a press release of a new DSLR, B&S will be flooded by people selling the previous model.
    25) Every Weekend, theres at least 1 model shoot....
    26) Some Couple will pop by here once every 2 months to look for "PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER" for their wedding... LOL
    27. Every now and then when someone post a nice picture someone will ask "Wah nice picture....what camera/lens you using"
    28. About twice or three times a month someone will ask "Should I get this?/Should I upgrade"
    29. Another one will ask "Can someone recommend me this or that"
    30. "Mind to share your settings?"
    31) Whenever one of CS resident bikini shooters (u know who they are) post, someone else will inevitably suffer nose-bleeds.
    32) For those who dun suffer nose-bleeds - someone will inevitable comment that the pose is too stiff, pose too common, pic looks like from FHM, the model is showing too much flesh/not sexy enuf... etc... while busy downloading other people's pics simply becos they never shoot a model in bikini b4.
    33) Every 2-3 mths, our resident handy-man cum inventor will post a DIY gadget to help us save money!
    34. every now and then newbies will be asking waht's the max video quality or length for a certain DSLR
    35) Every now and then, some one will inevitably ask, "How long ur zoom lens extend to when I take macro?" - this is 1 question i never know how or wat to say..
    36) Every now and then, a newbie will ask about which is better, Canon or Nikon? Then WWIII begins again!
    37) we get reminders once a full moon is round the corner.
    38) once in a while, we have breaking news (with pictures sometimes) faster than any local news website!
    39) every few months someone will post a pic showing something bad happening to a nikon...um....i mean a camera of another brand
    40) At least once a year, some one will inevitably declare that "You're not a photographer until you use a Leica."
    41) Every now and then a cockcroach gets stuck inside the CS server. The admin puts up a 'Site is down 15 minutes for maintenance' sign from the backup server while they scrape out the remains of the cockcroach. It always stretches to 30+ minutes bcoz they always end up redesigning the cockcroach filter.
    42)Every week, someone will lament about liverpool?
    43) If the clubsnap servers were to go down, 90% will start displaying withdrawal symptoms in 1 hour, while the rest of the 10% would have called the psychiatrists to make an appointment.
    44) At least one dumb poll every day.
    45) At least once a week, all the polls float to the top of the list because someone voted in all of them.
    46. Shoots photo of girl/girlfriend/model ---> Post photo for whole world to see ---> Photo got leeched by some *girl.com webby --->whine, cry and bitch in forum "MY PHOTO GOT LEECHED" (even knowing that these have been happening since god-knows-when.
    47. someone will ask how to protect pic from being leeched
    48. shoots some photo which get used by newspaper. not happy about not getting credited
    49. once every minutes, u'll see "Upps upps" or "boink boink" or "Bounce Bounce" in the B&S thread
    50. every few days, the mods have to post "duplicate threads merged"
    51. once every month, you'll see some posting in the B&S violating the "Guidelines for Buy & Sell threads/posts"
    52) 2 out of 3 sellers who posted to sell 3rd party lens will end up with the reply...WHAT MOUNT?
    53) When a model is noted to be very chio, everyone start asking "How much did u pay for her?" "Can recommend?"
    54. u get all sorts of information in Kopitiam from M.United fan club to Land banking stuff to birthday wishes to some junk...
    55) Once in a while somebody's PM will go MIA and somebody will claim only the user will have access to their PMs only
    56) 9 out of 10 B&S get bids below $x, when seller specifies 'Please start bidding from $x'.
    57) Out of every 10 sales/buys, 1 or 2 will be very smug and refuse to answer calls/sms or even get back to you
    58) Once a month (at least) some one will inevitably ask "Izit all right to pay a model to shoot her?"
    59) Longest running, and most recurring MO in CS - canturn's MO on gaffer tape. 60) (mebbe) 2nd longest running and recurring MO in CS - espn's MO in Da Protector.
    61) every now and than a thread will get a lot of hits very fast (like this one) than suddenly...........just die without any reason
    62) Every now and then, some people will write "It's not the equipment that matters, the photographer is more important in creating the winning shot.... Or give a pro a p&s camera and they can create a good picture... blah blah...'
    63) Once every 20 days someone will post her avantar with her boyfriend and ask, "Me! cute bo?" or "Wan to stalk me?"
    64) Once a month someone will post and tell us that someone stops him/her on the street and asks for money.
    65) Once every 6 months someone young, strong with speedy legs will post that it's scary to go to a certain dimly-lit building because there are some old men around as if the weak old men can out race and catch him.
    66) Once a day I will post something funny.
    67) A least once a week, someone will comment "no banal talk please".
    68) At least once a week, someone will post WTB XXX camera/len/etc when there is a whole list of exactly the same items on sale...
    you can buy better gear but you can't buy a better eye

  4. #64
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    Good Zaren!

  5. #65
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    Not too sure if this has been done but here goes.

    Once in a while in B&S someone will post something for sale and will say that he has the right not to sell if the price is not right.

    Duh! It's your perogative. Up to you.

  6. #66
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    And seems like everyday there is a newbie asking abt his/her newly bought DSLR.

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainman
    And seems like everyday there is a newbie asking abt his/her newly bought DSLR.

  8. #68
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Okay this is the last one:

    (69) Once in our lifetime someone form somewhere is going to post a message here and ask:

    "Has any1 here been a hired assassin B4 and how much du U get paid?"

    And a joker from here will answer:

    "Shoot with a Canon or Nikon or wat?"

  9. #69
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    to round it off as an even 70...

    70) Every now and then, some one will ,"How did u come up with ur nickname/avatar?"... and will inevitable follow up by "How come u dun look like ur nickname/avatar har?"....
    If Life worked on auto mode then manual mode for photography would have never existed. ― Deeksha Mittal

  10. #70
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    If all of us look like our avatars, then we all be cute amateur models!

    Quote Originally Posted by nightwolf75
    to round it off as an even 70...

    70) Every now and then, some one will ,"How did u come up with ur nickname/avatar?"... and will inevitable follow up by "How come u dun look like ur nickname/avatar har?"....

  11. #71

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    Quote Originally Posted by nightwolf75
    to round it off as an even 70...

    70) Every now and then, some one will ,"How did u come up with ur nickname/avatar?"... and will inevitable follow up by "How come u dun look like ur nickname/avatar har?"....

    and u would look like yoda ?

    or a colour wolf ( i assume u have colour, lest u are hollow man, i mean wolf)

    Last edited by acetylcholine; 23rd October 2004 at 10:44 PM.

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by acetylcholine
    and u would look like yoda ?

  13. #73
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Statistically for every 30 unfunny posts in Kopitiam there is one that make you rolling on the floor.

  14. #74
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    Almost every month there are several threads about someone organising some model shoots for us and they are not free.

  15. #75
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    Have you noticed that no CS male has ever posted his photo with his GF and ask the question "Me handsome boh?" ?
    Last edited by Sion; 24th October 2004 at 09:28 AM.

  16. #76

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    Once in a couple of years, our girly photos are so good that they are being leeched exclusively to an exclusive adult-site, not bad hor, this give free publicity to the high standard of CS members who specialised in girly shoots.... anyone going to Japan/Korea for a career?
    always the Light, .... always.

  17. #77

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    69) you have made 3000 posts eventhough you just joined CS last month.. all of them on newbie outings thread or sentosa outings

  18. #78

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sion
    Have you noticed that no CS male has ever posted his photo with his GF and ask the question "Me handsome boh?" ?
    That's a good idea,
    I'm going to do that

  19. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by drebel
    69) you have made 3000 posts eventhough you just joined CS last month.. all of them on newbie outings thread or sentosa outings

  20. #80

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    70. about every 3 months, someone will post: how to put a copyright symbol onto my photo???

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