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Thread: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManWearPants

    Credit card debts are suicidal. If the relatives and friends knows that these are gambling incurred debts, they will siam.

    I guess this family can sell off the condo and live in a smaller flat. I think the dad is not telling everything. Who knows maybe the son is saddled with other commitments such as a housing loan, car loan, etc and cannot afford to repay the debt. The dad mentioned that he is helping him meet the minimum repayment sum. By just meeting the min sum, he can live with the debt till his grave. Good luck.
    Yup, paying just minimum will take him ages. I wish the dad luck!
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  2. #22
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    A quick glance, I thought it was Sion's gambling addiction. LOL! Talk about selective viewing!

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrov View Post
    Ah ok. I know housing is expensive but figured people would move out and live with friends and roommates. I didn't know you couldn't buy public housing until you are 35.

    Another serious question. Do most people feel comfortable living with their parents at that age? Or does it cause undue stress. In this story of course but I am asking in general. I would go nuts.

    We are Asians… both culture and race… my generation, if you rather live with friends than with your family, its considered that there's something wrong with you and your family (family problem… etc).

    At 36+ … my mom stay at my place (4room HDB) since I the only one among my siding that is yet married. And the idea of leaving her on her own is as alien to me… as a 30yrs old still staying with their parents seems alien to you.

    Hope you learn something about Asian culture

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  4. #24

    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by diver-hloc View Post
    We are Asians… both culture and race… my generation, if you rather live with friends than with your family, its considered that there's something wrong with you and your family (family problem… etc).

    At 36+ … my mom stay at my place (4room HDB) since I the only one among my siding that is yet married. And the idea of leaving her on her own is as alien to me… as a 30yrs old still staying with their parents seems alien to you.

    Hope you learn something about Asian culture
    Yes, very interesting. I have been in Singapore for 2 years but I work with other non Singaporeans so I actually rarely interact with locals.

    When one of my friends turned 18, his father burst into his room and told him:

    "Happy birthday son!!!!!! You are now 18 and an adult. You have one month to find a place to live and get a job or you will pay rent to us!"

    His father wanted to turn his room into a tv room lol. My friend was happy, he had already been looking hahha!
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  5. #25

    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by ManWearPants View Post
    40k credit card debt is quite a lot, considering the compounding interests. Assuming you are repaying $1k/mnth., it will also take 5 years to repay.

    Assuming the guy earns $3k.
    Take home after CPF ($600) is $2.4k.
    Minus transport, meals, utilities and other living expenses (assuming $1k) = $1.4k .
    Savings/Investments ($400) = $1k left

    I think this guy really dragged the family down with his debts. If I am the father, also cannot don't help. Is really in a bad situation.
    It is not a lot, even if he/she is not highly-educated, eg no need to have even a degree to pull it off. One just have to bite the bullet and work the arse off. Last time I worked till I nearly dropped, and true enough even went beyond what I could bite and landed myself in hospital. Came out, enjoyed CNY, and continued. 2-3AM in the toilet suddden vomitting and diarrhoea, popped in medicinal carbon pills, 6AM at bride's house. 4-days consecutive shoots is not uncommon, and once that is done continue with the Mon-Fri day job. You can even hold say a Carrefour part-time cashier etc.... (I have a 62-yr old colleague still doing that). Just have to look harder, try harder.

    Seriously I am not trying to show off, hey I don't even have a debt to start off with. But I know I only hold a diploma with very low grades, I seriously don't know how to study.....and my prime time is over. As long as there is $$$, I will whack. Simple rule. I take calculated risks with investments, I don't gamble.

    But aiming to retire at 45 though.....

  6. #26
    Senior Member geraldkhoo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    People will do what works for them... and if the son can continue to get money from the father, he'll continue his gambling addiction because it still works out for him as daddy still can help pay. Until a person realizes that what he does will not work anymore, they will try something else... and when they reach a final dead end, then they will start to think of changing.

    With the onset of casiNOs... there will be more of such problems...
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  7. #27
    Senior Member edutilos-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cowmera

    Yup, paying just minimum will take him ages. I wish the dad luck!
    I thought if you just pay the minimum you won't even pay off the debt principle?

  8. #28

    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    there are many such real life encounter. many un-reported. have a fren whose children run into debts . the children cry of fear for being declared a bankruptcy 爱儿心切 in the end, they sold the house and the proceed went to clear the debt.

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrov View Post
    Yes, very interesting. I have been in Singapore for 2 years but I work with other non Singaporeans so I actually rarely interact with locals.

    When one of my friends turned 18, his father burst into his room and told him:

    "Happy birthday son!!!!!! You are now 18 and an adult. You have one month to find a place to live and get a job or you will pay rent to us!"

    His father wanted to turn his room into a tv room lol. My friend was happy, he had already been looking hahha!
    18 seems a bit too young. The norm for Sin is 21. Where are you from, Scandinavia?

  10. #30

    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by ManWearPants View Post
    18 seems a bit too young. The norm for Sin is 21. Where are you from, Scandinavia?
    My friend is from Ohio, USA. I lived there for a long time. 18 is when a person is an adult in the US.
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  11. #31
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Just by the credit card 40k alone.
    Under credit credit min payment; 5% or $50 whichever is higher.
    and interests will be 2% per month / 24% per annual.

    As below, just by paying the min 2040 only $464.80 is deducted.
    Need pay a long time, and furthermore he still have loans from under parties.

    1st month
    --------------
    $40 000
    + $ 800 (interests)
    - $ 2040 (min payment)
    ------------------------
    $38760

    2nd month
    -----------------
    $38760
    + $ 775.20 (Interests)
    -------------------------
    $39535.20
    -------------------------

    $40000
    $39535.20
    ---------------
    $464.80

  12. #32
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by edutilos- View Post
    I thought if you just pay the minimum you won't even pay off the debt principle?
    will lah but very slowly, as the minimum payment is 5% of total and interests is 2% of total.

    so of the minimum payment; 60% went to pay it off and the 40% eaten by interests.

    of cos that is excluding the late payment fees (if he default his payment) & the annual fees.

  13. #33

    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    If they are serious about clearing the credit card debt and the loan shark debt, they should go talk to a bank and explore the possibility of taking a personal loan with the father's condo as lien. Interest even at prime +2 is still significantly less than credit card & loan shark interest. Even better if the bank can look at a re-mortgage of the condo .. by now the condo should have very little outstanding or even fully paid up


  14. #34
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by cqprime View Post
    ......But his son's gambling debts has scuttled everything he had worked for......

    .......He is still lending his son, an executive in the IT industry in his 30s, money to pay the minimum sum on his credit cards..
    this 'son' is a bloody disgrace ....... its going to be painful but his parents should just harden up and let their son take care of his own issues with gambling debts with extra job, less unnecessary spending ...... should clear everything in a few years

    i doubt paying off his son's debts will cure anything

    loansharks should have a better chance in rehabilitating this son
    Last edited by ed9119; 13th February 2011 at 01:45 PM.
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  15. #35
    Moderator diver-hloc's Avatar
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Common sense would be for the parents to leave the son to settle his own problem…

    But is it so easy for you to do the same if that is YOUR child… ??

    * the same child you and your wife/husband took care for years…
    * the same child that you spend endless night losing sleep & rest to feed and clean when as a baby or when sick…
    * the same child that you rush home from work to see before he/she sleeps…
    * the very child that you work day and night so that he/she could get the best in life…

    Our advice is sounded and logical… but LOVE for one's child, family, friends… etc. Isn't always so… so before we get too righteous… put yourself in that old man's shoe.

    My 2 cents…

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  16. #36

    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Putting ourselves into parent's shoes .. very apt but what is also important is what kind of parent do u want to be .. there is a saying

    "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime."



  17. #37
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    A reverse example may be of filial son paying off gambling debts of addict parents.

    In this example of parents paying for son addict, likely outcome is that son will not only continue gambling but become a much bigger gambler. Basically he is waiting for the parent/s to die. Then sell off the condo that he assumed will be willed to him.

  18. #38
    Moderator diver-hloc's Avatar
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    So lets just hope that all of us have perfect childern… those that doesn't let us down or disappointed us in any way or form… least they find themselve cut off from those who are supposed to have loved them…

    Scuba & Father... For Life

  19. #39

    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    There are birds that kick the baby out of the nest once it gets old enough.
    Tough love is needed sometimes. Solving all of your child's problems doesn't help in the long term. Especially since on this side children are expected to care for the parents once the parents are old. If they raise an irresponsible child how can they expect the child to care for them.

    I once had a student who was a perfect example. I assume now he is a complete drain on resources. Anyway, this child was a complete mama's boy and it was his mother's fault. When he dropped his pencil in class he wouldn't even pick it up, he would just start bawling. Why? Because at home his mother would run and pick it up for him. I witnessed it for myself in class. Parent's observation, that means the parents watch the class. The students were practicing writing, he put his pencil on the table and it rolled off. Landed right beside him and since the table was low all he had to do was reach down and get it.
    Of course he didn't, he just started bawling. His mother jumped into the air and started sprinting ( I am not kidding you) to his rescue. Until my voice boomed across the room to his mother.
    "SIT DOWN!!!!!!" was was I yelled at his mother. She did and he cried for 10 minutes until he got tired and picked the pencil up and kept writing like nothing happened.

    I wouldn't let him inherit the condo. Last parent standing should sell it, take the money and have a heck of a retirement.

    Bill Gates even said he will not leave his money to his children.
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  20. #40
    Senior Member geraldkhoo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by diver-hloc View Post
    So lets just hope that all of us have perfect childern… those that doesn't let us down or disappointed us in any way or form… least they find themselve cut off from those who are supposed to have loved them…
    There is no such thing as perfect children... and neither is there such a thing as perfect parents... but how a parent trains and raises a child is very important and determines the future of a child.

    The first 7 years of a child's life is extremely important, but many parents do not see it this way. What the child learns in the 1st 7 years is likely going to determine about 70% of who he/she is and his/her life ahead.

    What do many parents do for the 1st 7 years of a child's life?

    Love is also not always the mushy mushy sentimental thing... there is such a thing called "tough" love.
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