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Thread: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

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    Default Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    By Benson Ang

    RETIRE at 55 and enjoy what life has to offer. William (not his real name) had it all worked out.

    But his son's gambling debts has scuttled everything he had worked for.

    The 60-year-old once dreamt he would be kicking back by age 55. But now, by his own calculations, even retiring at 67 might be a stretch. His son owes $40,000 in credit card debts and $2,000 in loans from licensed moneylenders.

    These arose from gambling losses, part of which were incurred at a local casino.

    William, an administrator in the education industry, is among those suffering from the effects of problem gambling.

    He is still lending his son, an executive in the IT industry in his 30s, money to pay the minimum sum on his credit cards.

    William and his wife, a 60-year-old housewife, live with their bachelor son in a condominium unit.
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Would you assist if your son is in such deep **** ?

    I wont as u feed the hole it grows bigger
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    First must stop gambling, work on how to prevent the debt to grow, must work on a repayment scheme with the son. And cancel those credit cards! Live sparsely.......drink water, eat bread........simple food, no outings, no restaurants.......become a monk

    HS

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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Son = bachelor, 30s. Another good example of the type of person that I mentioned in the other thread. Guess what happens when he finally decides to get married.

    Condominium (belongs to father/mother...but still good to see), wears Rolex (not a Pam/Patek), drives something like a riced out car. But decides to haggle a lot with the wedding photographer/videographer, delays payment and even needs to pay in instalments.
    Kena twice before.... These days I avoid such mofos.

    40k actually is a pretty small sum if you are talking about debts. If you know how to work with 2/3 incomes, the extra income can make 40k/yr pretty easily just by working hard enough with a bit of smartness. More than that will require somewhat exponentionally in terms of specialisation + brains though. Some guys FL easily do > 40k just by bulldozing.

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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by cqprime View Post
    Would you assist if your son is in such deep **** ?

    I wont as u feed the hole it grows bigger


    For those here, who have their own children.... the answer is clear.

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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    There are parents who spoil their child from young. Be it from a lack of parenting skills, or overcompensating for not spending enough time with the child, or "following the Jones' children" syndrome. Or it could simply be a case of doting grandparents who "protect" the child. These are some of the factors that can lead to a child demanding and getting what he wants from young. Later in life, it becomes difficult for both the parent and the child to detach from this practice. It can also be a case of the parents fearing that nobody will look after them in their old age, thus a need to give in to the demands of their child.
    Last edited by zero o; 11th February 2011 at 09:30 AM.

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    Arrow Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Most fathers will tell the son to go fly kite, already a big boy still need pocket money from the parents.

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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    The building of Casino here brings in lots of Foreign Currencies.

    But they don't call Gambling a Vice for nothing.

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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    First and foremost, got to chop off his fingers from gambling [figuratively of course]. in other words, bar him from entering the casino.

    And as for the 40k, just pay progressively. And get the young man to take on a 2nd job to pay up. That serves as some kind of penance for him to work harder to pay for his mistakes.

    Not for the old man to delay retirement.

    BTW, gamble, smoking, drinking, womanizing - which is the worst and most damaging of them?
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by zero o View Post
    There are parents who spoil their child from young. Be it from a lack of parenting skills, or overcompensating for not spending enough time with the child, or "following the Jones' children" syndrome. Or it could simply be a case of doting grandparents who "protect" the child. These are some of the factors that can lead to a child demanding and getting what he wants from young. Later in life, it becomes difficult for both the parent and the child to detach from this practice. It can also be a case of the parents fearing that nobody will look after them in their old age, thus a need to give in to the demands of their child.
    In China, the single child, who is a boy is often known as the Little Emperor. No need to say more.
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2100
    40k actually is a pretty small sum if you are talking about debts. If you know how to work with 2/3 incomes, the extra income can make 40k/yr pretty easily just by working hard enough with a bit of smartness. More than that will require somewhat exponentionally in terms of specialisation + brains though. Some guys FL easily do > 40k just by bulldozing.
    Yup I agree! Not a big sum to pay off at all. Just work hard and scrimp for a short period.

    That gambler should pay his own debt. He will never learn his lesson!
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by cowmera View Post
    Yup I agree! Not a big sum to pay off at all. Just work hard and scrimp for a short period.

    That gambler should pay his own debt. He will never learn his lesson!
    Full agree
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by xtemujin View Post
    Most fathers will tell the son to go fly kite, already a big boy still need pocket money from the parents.
    Embrassing
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Is this common? A 30 year old son to live with his parents? And why are the parents still paying for him? Does he pay rent to the parents?
    No, I'm not Singaporean and I am asking a serious question. Where I come from, once you are 18 you are pretty much out of the house.
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrov View Post
    Is this common? A 30 year old son to live with his parents? And why are the parents still paying for him? Does he pay rent to the parents?
    No, I'm not Singaporean and I am asking a serious question. Where I come from, once you are 18 you are pretty much out of the house.
    Housing is relatively expensive in Singapore. Unless you can afford private housing, singles also cannot apply for public housing till they turn 35 or get married.

    Yes, it is common for a 30 yr old to stay with parents. I would assumed he contributes to the household.

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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by ManWearPants View Post
    Housing is relatively expensive in Singapore. Unless you can afford private housing, singles also cannot apply for public housing till they turn 35 or get married.

    Yes, it is common for a 30 yr old to stay with parents. I would assumed he contributes to the household.
    Ah ok. I know housing is expensive but figured people would move out and live with friends and roommates. I didn't know you couldn't buy public housing until you are 35.

    Another serious question. Do most people feel comfortable living with their parents at that age? Or does it cause undue stress. In this story of course but I am asking in general. I would go nuts.
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by cowmera View Post
    Yup I agree! Not a big sum to pay off at all. Just work hard and scrimp for a short period.
    40k credit card debt is quite a lot, considering the compounding interests. Assuming you are repaying $1k/mnth., it will also take 5 years to repay.

    Assuming the guy earns $3k.
    Take home after CPF ($600) is $2.4k.
    Minus transport, meals, utilities and other living expenses (assuming $1k) = $1.4k .
    Savings/Investments ($400) = $1k left

    I think this guy really dragged the family down with his debts. If I am the father, also cannot don't help. Is really in a bad situation.

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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrov View Post
    Ah ok. I know housing is expensive but figured people would move out and live with friends and roommates. I didn't know you couldn't buy public housing until you are 35.

    Another serious question. Do most people feel comfortable living with their parents at that age? Or does it cause undue stress. In this story of course but I am asking in general. I would go nuts.
    I guess it is difference in culture. Most Asian parents would not mind their kids staying with them. Yes, there are times of stress. But it is still family.

    I am seeing more 30 somethings staying in their parents' home. I guess it is up to individual families so I cannot speak for all. But my parents would rather I pay them rent than to rent from others.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ManWearPants

    40k credit card debt is quite a lot, considering the compounding interests. Assuming you are repaying $1k/mnth., it will also take 5 years to repay.

    Assuming the guy earns $3k.
    Take home after CPF ($600) is $2.4k.
    Minus transport, meals, utilities and other living expenses (assuming $1k) = $1.4k .
    Savings/Investments ($400) = $1k left

    I think this guy really dragged the family down with his debts. If I am the father, also cannot don't help. Is really in a bad situation.
    He can borrow $ from relatives and friends and pay off slowly. Even if they ask for interest, it won't be as high as the credit card rate. If he earns $3k a month, live with his parents, perhaps he can tell them he can't contribute to the household for the time bring. His parents lives in a condo and his dad is still working so I assume he isn't the sole breadwinner. For the time being, stop all entertainment, eat cheap food, take the train to work, sell his valuables and I believe he can pay off more than $1k a month. Moreover he can always get another job. He can only blame himself for incurring this debt. By suffering and paying off the debt himself, he will learn his lesson. He's only 30 years old, still young and strong to hold 2-3 jobs. If he works as a waiter in a disco, he will get at least $1k a month from this second job. Between knocking off from his office job and reporting for work at the disco, he has some time to rest and same goes for knocking off from the disco. He can also sell part time insurance, real estate.

    A friend of mine is from a single parent family. Her mum takes home about $1.2k a month but she still manage to send 1 daughter to Australia for further studies and 1 to NUS. It's a matter of budgeting. There is no excuse for that gambler.
    Last edited by cowmera; 12th February 2011 at 03:16 AM.
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    Default Re: Son's gambling addiction forces him to delay retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by cowmera View Post
    He can borrow $ from relatives and friends and pay off slowly. Even if they ask for interest, it won't be as high as the credit card rate. If he earns $3k a month, live with his parents, perhaps he can tell them he can't contribute to the household for the time bring. His parents lives in a condo and his dad is still working so I assume he isn't the sole breadwinner. For the time being, stop all entertainment, eat cheap food, take the train to work, sell his valuables and I believe he can pay off more than $1k a month. Moreover he can always get another job. He can only blame himself for incurring this debt. By suffering and paying off the debt himself, he will learn his lesson. He's only 30 years old, still young and strong to hold 2-3 jobs. If he works as a waiter in a disco, he will get at least $1k a month. Between knocking off from his office job and reporting for work at the disco, he has some time to rest and same goes for knocking off from the disco. He can also sell part time insurance, real estate.

    A friend of mine is from a single parent family. Her mum takes home about $1.2k a month but she still manage to send 1 daughter to Australia for further studies and 1 to NUS. It's a matter of budgeting. There is no excuse for that gambler.
    Credit card debts are suicidal. If the relatives and friends knows that these are gambling incurred debts, they will siam.

    I guess this family can sell off the condo and live in a smaller flat. I think the dad is not telling everything. Who knows maybe the son is saddled with other commitments such as a housing loan, car loan, etc and cannot afford to repay the debt. The dad mentioned that he is helping him meet the minimum repayment sum. By just meeting the min sum, he can live with the debt till his grave. Good luck.
    Last edited by ManWearPants; 12th February 2011 at 03:22 AM.

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