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Thread: Funny Joke!!

  1. #1
    Senior Member jOhO's Avatar
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    Default Funny Joke!!

    dunno if this has been posted b4, but i almost died laughing reading this.. *wipes tears off*

    please enjoy as much as i did!

    ---------------------------------------------

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon.

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

    "Good morning madam. I've come to......"

    "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

    "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

    "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.

    After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

    "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"

    "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and I."

    "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

    "My, my, that's a lot of ....!!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

    "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

    "Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

    "Oh my gawd!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

    "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

    "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

    "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

    "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

    "Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling, I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your um...equipment ?"

    "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

    "Tripod??"

    "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ...Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

  2. #2
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    Har har...thnx for sharing man....I laugh untill I "peng"....har har

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    Senior Member jOhO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelster
    Har har...thnx for sharing man....I laugh untill I "peng"....har har
    my pleasure!

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    very funny!

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    Funny. Got this 2 months ago.

  6. #6
    Senior Member jOhO's Avatar
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    was going thru my old threads.. found this one, decided to up it for those who haven't read... it's too good to miss!!!

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by jOhO
    was going thru my old threads.. found this one, decided to up it for those who haven't read... it's too good to miss!!!
    I missed it the first time you posted it.

    This is really good!

    Regards,
    -Michelle-

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    good joke

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    Senior Member glennyong's Avatar
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    rested my Canon.. it mentioned Canon.. not Cannon.... hahahaha......

    dun think 2 much la ya ...... hahahaah

    good one... made my day cheerful... despite having a miserable day in class...

  10. #10
    Senior Member jOhO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mich_2103
    I missed it the first time you posted it.

    This is really good!

    Regards,
    -Michelle-
    ahahah at least u female can appreciate it too that's good! i have another one, quite derogatory to females too, i know men laff at it, but let's see how u go:

    The guy wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotlessly clean. And so's the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove. Love you."

    So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast, fresh newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

    Father (F): "Son, what happened yesterday?"

    Son (S): "Oh, the usual.? You came home after 3 am, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave mom a black eye."

    (F): "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and the food is on the table?"

    (S): "Oh that!? Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said "Bitch! Leave me alone, I am married!"

  11. #11
    Senior Member jOhO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by glennyong
    rested my Canon.. it mentioned Canon.. not Cannon.... hahahaha......

    dun think 2 much la ya ...... hahahaah

    good one... made my day cheerful... despite having a miserable day in class...
    glad it cheered u up bro...! ahahahha

    for the canon part, canon and cannon are spoken the same way so in speech she'll think the long and big one lor.. ahahhaha

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    Quote Originally Posted by jOhO
    ahahah at least u female can appreciate it too that's good! i have another one, quite derogatory to females too, i know men laff at it, but let's see how u go:

    The guy wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotlessly clean. And so's the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove. Love you."

    So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast, fresh newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

    Father (F): "Son, what happened yesterday?"

    Son (S): "Oh, the usual.? You came home after 3 am, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave mom a black eye."

    (F): "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and the food is on the table?"

    (S): "Oh that!? Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said "Bitch! Leave me alone, I am married!"
    heh mushy mushy but I like
    "I'm... dreaming... of a wide... angle~
    Just like the ones I used to know~"

  13. #13
    Senior Member jOhO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by denizenx
    heh mushy mushy but I like
    ahhaha.. er, it's not meant to be mushy...

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by jOhO
    ahahah at least u female can appreciate it too that's good! i have another one, quite derogatory to females too, i know men laff at it, but let's see how u go:

    The guy wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotlessly clean. And so's the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove. Love you."

    So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast, fresh newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

    Father (F): "Son, what happened yesterday?"

    Son (S): "Oh, the usual.? You came home after 3 am, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave mom a black eye."

    (F): "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and the food is on the table?"

    (S): "Oh that!? Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said "Bitch! Leave me alone, I am married!"
    No offense but I still prefer the first one. It catches on faster.

    Regards,
    -Michelle-

  15. #15
    Senior Member jOhO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mich_2103
    No offense but I still prefer the first one. It catches on faster.

    Regards,
    -Michelle-
    ahah none taken, i'm not the author for either..

    i agree the first one has punch.. esp since most of us are photographers here.

  16. #16
    Senior Member glennyong's Avatar
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    ya.... hahahaha......

    nxt time... we muzt be careful when describing.. if not pple will think otherwise and start fainting one by one.... lol ....

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