Last edited by iguanavon; 23rd January 2011 at 10:53 PM.
Last edited by filcras; 24th January 2011 at 09:07 AM.
okkies! pm me
This thread can really the hard core BUAYAS !!!
Think fast, aim for the best !
Eat breath LIVERPOOL!!!
OMG this thread is still alive
ok. seeing the photo, I'm not surprised. lollol good taste....
For the benefit of others who may need help...
If you're interested in a gal you see at a certain place almost everyday:
Take notice of what she's wearing. Anything unique like jewelery, or a bag or a book she's reading.
- Ask her about it. If its jewelery, compliment that it is nice and ask where she got it. Thank her.
- Next time you see her, smile and nod at her to acknowledge her presence. This breeds familiarity.
- After a few days of smiling etc, say hi and make small talk with her.
- Ask for her number maybe after 2-3 days of chatting.
- Once got her number, you can then move to Phase 2, which is asking her out for coffee etc.
However, if you only see her as a one-off thing with no certainty of seeing her again, then directly ask for her number or msn.
Good grooming is a must, you HAVE to look presentable, decent and honest.
1) Don't just "be friends" with the girl of interest, she'll only classify you as a friend and not as a romantic interest
2) Exude confidence in yourself, but not overconfidence
3) Groom yourself well, no ugly nosehair sticking out or dirty nails
4) Be romantic, strike up romantic conversations with her or ask her romantic qn like "what's your idea of a romantic date/evening/holiday/honeymoon?" You get the idea.
5) If you're gonna talk to her on the phone, keep it short and sweet. Be like a commando, get in fast, get out fast. Its better to leave her with good feelings after ending the conversation and leave her wanting for more from you, than dragging on the conversation which leads to an awkward silence cus both of u dunno what to say anymore.
6) Dates: Make an effort to shave, trim your nostril hair, wear something nice and smell nice. She didn't go through the trouble of putting on make up and stressing over what to wear to see you dressed sloppily right?
7) Impress your date by being a gentleman. Open doors for her etc. Personally, I make an effort to clip on the seatbelt for my gf whenever we take a cab, and she tells me that's the most memorable thing among all that I've done for her.
8) Compliment your date 3 times. Once when you see her, second during the date, and the third when you SEND HER HOME.
9) If she insists that you don't need to send her home, just say its late and it'll be better if you do. At the most to the void deck or something etc.
10) Notice what she's wearing, and I'm not talking about the neckline plunging cleavage revealing dress!! Goodness!! I'm talking about things like her shoes or necklace or even earrings. If you notice those, you pretty much leave her very impressed. A simple "nice shoes!" more than often takes the cake.
11) Be decisive, e.g. about where to sit when you're going to eat, what movie to watch etc etc. But be flexible too. Never be wishy washy and indecisive.
12) Last but not least, thank her for the date.
During date ah...
1) Be ready to pay for the outing, if you can't, then ask if she minds going dutch for the movie.
2) If she insists strongly on going dutch, then offer to treat her on the next date. That way, you're setting both of you up for the next date and she knows you want to meet her again.
3) At the end of the date, ask if you can see her again.
4) Flirt with her during the date. It excites her and makes her feel good (i think).
5) By flirting, I mean smiling at her and winking at her. But don't wink until she thinks you've an eye problem!! Do things in moderation. Try to make it seem like its a little joke, that way if it goes badly, she'll think you're joking.
6) Touch your date physically. Shocking? Yes, but wait, here's what I mean! Touch your date physically by tapping her arm lightly when you want to indicate to her where to go. Or just brushing her arm with yours lightly say at the dining table or at the movies. But beware, not too much or not too intrusively that she keeps shying away from you.
7) Impress your date by bringing a sweater or jacket out for her. Most air-con places like the cinema or restaurants can be too cold. Plus, given S'pores sudden rainy weather, it'd keep her warm.
8) Buy her a simple gift and WRAP IT NICELY!!! It can be a cheap gift like 3 pieces of Ferrero Rocher, but wrapped well. It'll make her remember you when she eats the chocolate, and which one of us doesn't like the process of unwrapping presents more than the present itself?
9) If you're driving, make sure your car smells good and its cleaned properly. Get rid of the fuzzy dice that are hanging on the mirror and any other "incriminating" stuff.
10) Use words to get into her good books! Romantic words like "magical", "gorgeous" etc etc. Example: "Thanks for the magical evening! You're really really gorgeous, I enjoyed myself lots with you today!"
11) If you're dating a pretty gal, telling her that she's pretty is only going to get you classified as "another guy who says I'm pretty". Instead, try to pick her brain, ask her intelligent questions or what she thinks of something. Then you can compliment her and say that she's as intelligent as she is beautiful. (hehehe)
12) If you're having a discussion with her and you don't agree with some things she says, DO NOT GET ANGRY! She's only telling you her views, and if you get angry with what she says, you're only going to ruin everything.
1) The song doesn't go "fools rush in" for nothing. Find out more about the girl you like by dating her a few times, and don't rush into a relationship with her. It'd be diasastrous if you enter a relat with the girl too soon and find out that she has some issues which are hard to handle or if she goes totally crazy on you.
2) How to pop the question? First things first, ALWAYS ask her to be your gf! I've a couple of girl friends (not girlfriends!) who tell me that they're annoyed when the guy assumes automatically that just because they've gone out a few times and there's some chemistry, that the girl's now his girlfriend, all without asking.
If you're shy to open your mouth to ask, you can always make a card (more romantic what) or buy one (also can la) and give it to her and ask her to open and read it. Or if you're still shy, ask her to read it when she goes home. She'd probably know by then, but what the heck right? If you want, you can slip it into her handbag and sms/call her to tell her there's something in her bag, she'll then read it. If you're still on the phone with her, its time to open your big mouth and ask if she'd like to be your gf.
But don't get your hopes up too high, expect the worst and hope for the best. Though I think that if you've played your cards well, she should be ready to be your girlfriend.
HOW TO GET THE DATE AND OTHER DETAILS (I'll try to have some kind of organisation with these "tips")
First of all, the girl has to notice you. What's going to make you stand out from all the other lions?
1) Your grooming. Look like a slob? Chances are you might not even get lucky even if you're the last man on earth.
2) Confidence. If you're not confident of yourself, she won't even take a second glance at you. Women like men with confidence, but like what I said earlier, don't be overconfident.
3) Smile dude, and smile at her, that's one of the few and only ways you're going to get her notice!
4) More on grooming: brush your teeth, make sure your breath smells nice before you talk to her, trim your nostril hair, shave properly, wear something that isn't faded or looks like it belonged to your great-grandfather. Avoid the mothball eau de cologne too!
So, now after days or weeks of smiling at her from a distance and stressing over whether to ask her for her number, you decide you're finally ready to do it.
1) If you haven't already approached her, do it. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
2) Don't know how to strike up a conversation with her? Just observe what she reads, what she wears, the simplest thing can open up doors for you. See her reading a book? If you're familiar with the author or even the book itself, you can start chatting with her by saying "Hi, that's a nice book you're reading!" Or ask things like "Hi, may I have a look at your book?"
You can then go on and make small talk with her. Small talk is really anything but small. You don't have to ask her for her number immediately. At least now you've made her take notice of you, and it'll be easier for you to strike up conversations with her.
Not reading a book? Then how? Look at what she's wearing! A nice pair of earrings? A nice necklace? Ok, even if you don't think its nice, pretend it is!! Then go up to her and say "Hi, that's a nice pair of earrings, may I know where you go it from? My cousin's birthday is coming soon(be a little bit devious here, don't say its your sister, cus if you two end up together, its gonna be real weird if you actually don't have a sis or her bday isn't coming soon) and I'm sure she'd love these!"
Got the idea yet?
Ok, once you two have warmed up to each other, it'll be easier to ask her for her number and she probably won't reject you unless you've done something really wrong to make her think that you're weird or dangerous.
What not to do:
1) Talk about killing/murdering someone, even if you're joking. It freaks her out and makes her think that you're dangerous.
2) Joke with her like you're joking with your guy friends. Girls don't appreciate jokes that we guys love.
3) Be an ass with sexual overtures and seeming like a sex hungry pervert.
Finally you've got her number and now you're ready to ask her out on a date.
1) It can be as simple as asking her over the phone or sms. Sms functions are there for us! Use them!
2) When asking her on a date, don't say things like "Hi, wanna go out?" That's too ambiguous. Instead, say something like, "Hi, are you free on Wed evening for dinner and a show(state movie)?"
Why that works better? Because you're letting her know what will happen on the date. Both of you can then decide where to go, what to eat etc.
Some things that can and will go wrong:
1) Oh no, you're there waiting for her and she brings a friend/sis/relative along, without telling you too! How now brown cow? Relax, take it in your stride, smile and be confident. That'll score points with her friend/whoever too! Confidence is the key here, and remember to be a gentleman.
2) You've planned and planned for the big date day, intending to have a nice picnic at the beach, but damn, its raining! Are you going to cancel your plans and mope at home? Hell no!!! You must ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP PLAN! And check with your date about it too, like "If it rains, do you want to go to (place) and catch a show (or whatever you have in mind) instead?"
That shows her that you are prepared in case things don't go according to plan. I think that works to increasing the sense of security a girl feels towards the guy.
During the date:
1) Keep things playful for a relaxed atmosphere. Joke with her, make her smile, make her feel comfortable and relaxed. But don't be playful till the point of immaturity. Flirt with her and only her.
2) Be a gentleman.
3) Keep your roving eyes away from other women and on her and try to keep them off her chest! She doesn't need to be made to feel like a piece of meat for you to devour.
4) Mantain eye contact with her.
5) How to tell she's receptive to you? Body language is the key. If you're interested in her and she feels the same about you, both of you will be a mirror to each other. Put your hand on your cheek and she'll do the same in a moment. She'll be leaning to you at the table too.
6) Whisper into her ear. You've no idea how incredibly personal this is, and builds up the intimacy factor.
7) How not to whisper into her ear like a freak and scare her off: whisper stuff like (not "ASGM?" ok!!!) a private joke about the show or someone funny you see on the street. E.g. *lean and whisper to her ear* "Don't you think that baby looks cute?"
8) Be generous. Offer to pick up the tab. If you want, you might tip the waiter/waitress, but I haven't done that before.
9) If she starts talking about something sad that happened in her life and starts crying, you don't have to say anything (really), just offer her your shoulder, comfort her, listen to her and dry her tears.
10) Avoid the compulsion to be her problem solver. If your suggestions to her problem backfires, she's only going to remember you as the one who made her problems worse with your suggestions.
11) What to do then? Just listen and make her feel and know you're listening by echoing what she said. E.g. Her, "I'm so sad today, my friend just saboed me etc etc etc"
You, "Your friend saboed you? Why did he/she do that? Don't feel so bad?"
Her, "He/she did this and that and this and that etc etc"
You, "Wah, how come they like that one, do this and that and this and that to you??"
Get the idea?
12) Last but not least, if you're a smoker, ask her permission first if you can smoke. If you can tahan, try not to smoke first. Never ever think it'll make you look cool by smoking away and blowing smoke rings in the air. Its only going to turn her off. But try to avoid smoking during your date with her.