I hope you find your direction soon. Life may be confusing and tough, but trying to find simplicity in this complex world may be your ultimate bliss.
I am quite disturbed as to how the young pple of our times feel they have experienced the world but yet not know how beautiful life can be or how much more life has to offer. They sulk and harbour dangerous ideas in the name of soul searching.
Think of simple things, how you can offer to society, or even how you can make your loved ones happy. Think of how you can make a difference in another's life. Instead of dwelling on your own problems, think of your blessings, think of blessing people with the blessings you had. Think simple.
I hope you truly listen to what some pple in this forum have to say, you do not know everything, nobody knows everything. Humility is often the key to a happier life. Pride brings you no where.
Finally, keep shooting!