I got my D90 less than a week ago and i swear, i'm not regretting it. Although it seems like those complicated functions are all so messed up (in fact i ALMOST got 550D) but give yourself some time to pick them up and you'll do fine. I mean, what's the point of getting something that won't make you learn? After all (what i think) photography's much about learning and those custom settings will definitely come into use someday.
Maybe i've been toying with P&S cameras since i'm a little boy, and i've been reading up much about dslr so i am able to get a hang of it pretty okay currently.
If your budget permits, do go for D90. Otherwise D5k will be pretty fine, just that apart from the lack of AF-motor, you'll have additional steps to tweak the settings.
Sorry bros, newbie ranting here.